I’ve heard about how women turn lesbian (got any more examples? post em!). But I have no idea on how men turn gay?
Some of my gay (suspected gay) friends hide their sexual preference because gay is considered an illness in the region I live in. I’m not homophobic, but I’m not going to offend them by accusing them gay. And they wont hang out with us straight guys cuz they’re afraid of being rejected. Can’t blame em though.
And, are gay people get easily offended by gay jokes? I’ve heard US stand-up comedians joke about races, politics, and religion and nobody seem to mind (if they don’t go out of line).
As far as we can tell from all scientific study on the issue, people don’t turn gay (or lesbian) but are born with their preferences mostly or fully intact. Nobody knows how much a role genetics or the environment plays in the issue. We do know that it’s a lot more complicated than just gay or straight – as there is a wide spectrum of preferences. (Most gay people, for example, are not “exclusively homosexual,” as they may have had some heterosexual experiences too.)
And things get even more complicated when you throw gender identity into the mix.
As for comedians, they’ve been making gay jokes since the beginning of time. Most of them aren’t terribly funny.
Do you think that’s 100% accurate. {not the jokes part} I think the largest percentage of gay people are born that way. I also think it’s possible that some people turn to their own gender for love, comfort, affection, or sex, when they have been wounded or rejected by the opposite gender.
Still, The OP is pretty ignorant and offensive IMO. You have to be living under a rock for years to phrase the question that way.
Agreed, IF the OP is from North America or Western Europe. There are regions even in Europe that are virulently homophobic and ignorant of the truth about homosexuality. And the OP doesn’t sound like an English-as-a-first-language type.
I’m going to assume for the sake of this post that the OP’s poor phrasing is due to lack of knowledge rather than intended slight.
What the OP is describing is situational homosexuality. This doesn’t encompass all (or even most) people who identify as gay or lesbian at all. However, people can and do show homosexual behaviors only in certain contexts, such as in single gender living conditions like prisons. This shouldn’t imply that all people who are attracted to the same sex “turn” or “change”, as the evidence doesn’t support this. Rather, this is a set of people who would typically self-identify as straight, but who may experiment sexually or resort to homosexuality only situationally.
This raises tough questions about what makes you gay (or even bisexual). Are you bisexual because you resort to offering sex to people of the same gender in exchange for protection or basic needs like food? Most would say no. What if you resort to sex for comfort and intimacy with people of the same gender due to complete lack of exposure to the opposite gender? What if you only have same-sex attraction to one individual? What if you have same-sex attraction after a bad experience with the opposite sex?
Many people understand sexuality to be something of a switch - you’re either all gay or all straight. Others add bisexuality and believe it all comes down to gender - either you like only women, or only men, or you like both equally. However, I think it far more likely that sexuality is much more complicated. I think the issue has become politically charged in that gay people don’t want to admit that anyone would be gay based on environmental factors (since people will twist that to mean that it is a choice and therefore easier to discriminate against). At the same time, people (men in particular) are afraid to admit any curiosity or attraction to the same sex due to religious reasons, discrimination, and in the case of men, a perceived lack of manliness associated with being attracted to men. However, my personal opinion is that people’s sexuality not only is more of a spectrum than a checkbox, but that it does change based on factors in one’s life.
Excellent analysis fluiddruid. It also covers things like Larry Craig, who insists he’s not gay despite some clear homosexual behavior. Sexuality is a complex subject.
But when gay people are wounded or rejected by their own gender, yes we can turn to the opposite gender for love, etc., but that doesn’t make us go straight.
You are right of course. I didn’t elaborate. I think people can be convinced they are gay and live a gay lifestyle for years, for the reasons I mentioned. Just as a gay person can be in denial and live a straight lifestyle for years.
So, more technically expressed I meant, not all people who believe they are gay and live a gay lifestyle were born that way.
Either way, sexual preference has nothing to do with the quality of the individual.
I don’t quite get this but the term “lack of knowledge” is appropriate.
I live in a maldeveloped, third-world, non-English speaking country. I prefer not to say where exactly. You’ll have to pardon me.
The gay people (if I address them/you guys wrong, please correct me) I know seems to feel oppressed by society that they’ve either become hostile, or anti-social, mostly towards (straight) men. I’ve actually been harassed by hostile gay. I’ve been invited by complete stranger to his room when I was waiting for a bus. I’ve received insults (while I’m being friendly) from a gay couple who are friends with my friend. But I’ve had positive experience with gays too. I have a gay friend who hides his gayness who are totally cool with straight people. We hang out a lot back then but never talk about his ‘gayness’ (this word sounds wrong). We knew he was gay and he didn’t hide it from us, but he never talked about it.
I think being openly gay will draw more respect from straight guys (me at least) and it will eventually teach the society to accept gays as a full-functioning members of the society. Judging by the posts here, It doesn’t seem you guys have trouble being openly gay. I wish it was the same case here where I live in… Then the guy at the bus stop would just say “hey are you gay, man?”. I’d say “no, man”. “okay, cool… have a nice day”… That would be good.
Wherever they’re from, it certainly sounds like the OP is from one of those places where it’s not possible or allowed to think homosexuality has any possibility of being normal or acceptable:
This explains a lot. Thanks fluiddruid. I think I have a slight misconception, I thought the term “gay” only apply to men.
My question about the jokes. We’ve (or I, via youtube) heard jokes about jews that are stingy, blacks being threatening to the white, and moslems being terrorists, and from what I saw, It seems Americans and it’s minorities are being good sports about it. Is it the same case about gays? (I mean no offense whatsoever)
velocitri, where you live, is it an environment of men shunning gay men and lusting after lesbians? I’ve seen a lot of that in the south US, and movies here play on it a lot.
That is what happened to my sister-in-law. She was married in her early twenties and when she was in her late twenties she was raped by some stranger. She went into counseling but her marriage didn’t last and a year or so later she got divorced.
Fast forward to now she has been with her SO for about ten years and a couple of years ago they got partnered. I couldn’t go due to money and work issues but a lot of family went and I have some pictures.
