Is that True North, Magnetic North or towards the Northern Pole of Inaccessibility (as a treat on your birthday, perhaps)?
Well, now you’ve got me thinking maybe I’m doing it all wrong!
OK. 
I missed my sexual orientation and had to wing it once the semester started. Turns out so did a whole bunch others.
If I absolutely have to answer something, make it het male, add the “cis-” prefix to either or both words if you care about that aspect of specificity and it’s in any way relevant at the given time.
Male, heterosexual (nonpracticing).
So you’re doing it for real now? Those long hours practising alone must have finally pulled off, er, paid off I mean!
Suddenly I get this feeling I’m back on Tumblr… 
I’m a cis female. Demiromantic, likely demisexual as well. Predominately heterosexual, situationally homosexual. Really, *really *situationally; like less than 5%. Too bad too, I have an adorable lesbian friend. 
This prompts another question: Is it impolite to change channels while doing it?
Yup. Same:(
Uh, cis-male, not androgynous, attracted to hot chicks, more interested in who a person is than how they look, but no matter how interesting a dude is I won’t fuck a dude. My hot gf is a rather competent, able person, and I like that.
At my age and condition?
‘Mostly hypothetical’
Aren’t you glad you asked?
I don’t know. Someone give me an EXACT label now so we aren’t all male-chauvanist heteronormative, or whatever.
I was born with all male genitalia. I identify and display myself as a man. I think I can appreciate male looks, but I have never had a desire to touch a male sexually. I am sexually attracted to females and would prefer to have a regular sex life with one female, but more often than not it’s not worth the effort. I like a lot of time by myself. When I hear about people having affairs and things and actively “hunting” sexual conquests, I find the thought very exhausting. I’d probably rather have no sex than “bad sex” or sex that is uncomfortable.
Pansexual female with polyamorous leanings. Currently happy in a hetero monogamous relationship.
The robot arm probably helped, really.
Do you adopt a position where you’re both facing the TV or does one of you use a mirror?
If I can figure out which sex my right hand is I’ll let you know.
Cis male heterosexual. No homosexual leanings at all (not that it would bother me if there were).
Asexual with a distinct preference for males.
No, I can’t figure it out either. I just go with it.
I have a male body and am attracted entirely to those with female bodies. Twenty years ago I thought this made me heterosexual. I now realise this is only due to society oppressing me with aggressive normative assumptions.
In fact I now realise that I’m a butch gay woman trapped in a male body. Fortunately my external appearance only helps me - at a practical level - with passing myself off as male while being a female who wants to “act out” my fantasy preferences of pretending to be male. I can “pass” as male so convincingly I sometimes think I am male: a suggestion so insulting I’m thinking of having surgery to transform myself into a female bodied person so that I can undergo gender reassignment to pass as male to convince my doubters that I am actually female.
Asexual. Won’t do it, don’t ask me.