Yesterday I headed out to run a few errands, and passed a couple walking their dogs – two standard poodles, one white, one black, each with the pom-pom haircut I’ve never seen except in '50s magazines before.
All week last week, I saw this one nicely cute blonde girl excerwalking along the road I was taking thru the neighbourhood where my latest project was. Okay, not odd yet, right?
She has HUGE tits. Nice, natural shape. Pointy nipples. Ponderous masses of lovely woman flesh. And totally unsupported. Just a bouncin, swayin, jigglin… Underneath virtually sheer, tiny, skimpy tops.
Maybe not so weird afteral, eh? She likes to show off maybe. And DAMN has she got something to show off! Every morning last week, I saw her. Walking towards me in one direction as I drove the other. Smile and wave. She smiles back. I drive real slow…
She’s got a great ass, too. And her choice of shorts shows that asset nicely.
What was the question?
I saw a pheasant sat down on the pavement (sidewalk) the other day. Normally they’re stood up or walking about, but this one was just sat down. Looked really odd and I took a double take.
Canadian Geese have established a presence nearby. Driving along and then you gotta slow down to wait for them to cross the road. It’s a 25MPH zone that people go 50 in. This is not going to go well.
You know that wireless commercial with all the things that are supposed to look like bars on your phone? A flight of birds, tractors in a field, etc.?
There’s a set of four grain bins on my route to work that look just like that. I always WTF – why they didn’t put up two tall ones instead of four different sizes.
The ‘W’ stands for What, not Who.
I didn’t see it but I heard gunshots a few nights ago.
A white peacock (okay, peahen) has been hanging around our neighbourhood since July. She really liked the one kind of birdseed I got, but I haven’t stumbled on the same brand again, and she stalks around, looking mightily displeased with the substandard stuff I have now.
It’s quite odd to see a white peacock wandering around one’s driveway, backyard and roof.
Coming home about a week ago, around 9:30 pm, I came upon two guys under a car, the way guys get down on their backs and scootch under a car to work on it, that’s the way they were laying. There was no one coming from the other direction, so I drove all the way over to the left curb to pass them. After I got around them and back in my lane, I looked in the rearview mirror and realized there was no light under the car. No spotlight, no flashlights, no lamp, no nothing. Weird.
I think I was the thing you see in your neighborhood that makes somebody go WTF. I’m just moving into this house with these dreadful compacted gravel infested flower beds that line the walkway, and I’m trying this lasagna bed thing where you don’t have to dig. So you start out with newspaper or cardboard which you get good and wet and put down as your first layer to kill the grass or the weeds. And these two kids walk by with a basketball, on the way to the park I guess, and I overhear, “That white lady’s watering her cardboard!”
So evidently I’m already established as the neighborhood crazy.
In Manhattan about a week ago, I was walking down W. 12th Street and saw a guy walking toward me and I swear I thought he was walking next to a pony. Not even a Shetland pony, this was too big to be a Shetland, it was more like a Highland pony. When I got closer, I realized it was a Great Dane. Now I know that Great Danes are large dogs, but this was the single largest Great Dane I have ever seen, either in person or in photos. It was Guinness Record kind of large.
So, as I passed the guy, I said (I’m very non-threatening looking, and I said this pleasantly) “My gosh, from the other end of the street, I thought you were walking a pony!” and he gave me this very confused, puzzled look.
I think that was the real “WTF?” moment – it’s one thing to see a very large dog, but the guy didn’t seem to realize that his dog was very large. What, like he hasn’t noticed?
Not my exact neighborhood, but on my way to work in downtown Cleveland one morning we saw this attractive woman, dressed in a full skirt, heels, sitting at a table on the sidewalk drinking coffee and holding on to two leashes, at the ends of which were two little fluffy dogs. The whole scene looked so…French, or Italian…but definitely not Cleveland! Sidewalk tables? Someone looking like that actually living downtown? And the weather being nice at the same time? Too bizarre for words! My daughter and I both looked at each other at the same time and said, “where are we?”
Passing by the local Fred Meyer’s garden center the other day, I saw they had a large display of mums for sale. Eight-inch or so pots filled with blooms and wrapped in foil for display/giving. Sticking up from the center of each one, bundled with white tape, were three or four stalks of wheat.
The sign said, “Mums w/Wheat.” I said, “WTF?”
Next to our house, the builders left a lot houseless, and left the trees on it. It is low, so I presume they left it for drainage. Between the trees and the street, there is a bare lot the size of a small front yard. It was filled with tall weeds and had stakes around it, but a few weeks ago, the builders tilled it, took down the stakes, and planted grass. The idea is that there will be a small, flat place filled with grass in front of the trees–think tiny park. Ok, here’s the WTF–one of our neighbors parks on it. Drives over the curb in his honking truck and parks on it. It is across from his house, and he has too many cars for his short drive, but still!!!
Begin as you mean to go on – that’s my motto. 
Speaking as a dane owner: you get so many “OMIGAWDDDD is that a HORSE?!?” that it stops being funny after a short while. It’s nothing personal, I assure you. Sometimes all the comments are funny, nice, etc- most of the time I am just trying to walk my Scooby in peace. And I realize Mr. Scooby is quite large, so large we have to drive him in the SUV because he can’t fit in the regular car .
The weirdest thing that I’ve seen? The other day, I looked up in the trees in my neighbors yard to see a flock of birds. Normally, this would be no issue, but these weren’t wild looking birds. (I know nothing about birds, so forgive me).
These birds were green with red bellies, pretty big, singing and vocalizing. I think they may have had some yellow on their head or tails. Seems to me like these birds were the kind that people keep as pets.
I just have no idea where they came from. I can understand one or two pet birds getting loose, but 12?
after they get loose, they do … erm … what comes naturally. 
there are now flocks of wild parakeets in CT all from escaped pets and their offspring.
Yesterday, my neighbor had her mini- blinds open and I noticed she was using an American flag as a curtain.
Last Thursday, it was the big, black dog that bolted off the front porch of his house and tore after me at full gallop, barking and growling and snarling, as I rode my bike up to the bus stop. I had to pedal so hard, the chain came off my bike and I coasted at top speed into a blind intersection - you can’t see anything coming on the left due to a curve, or on the right due to overgrowth. The only reason I’m still here is because there were no cars coming at that moment.
I am filing an affadavit of complaint and a petition to have that dog declared dangerous. What if that had been a little kid riding by?
Heh, well I know that but the birds were all about the same size. Actually, it was sorta eerie- like a bad horror movie.
Well, right now I’m on a college campus–so there’s so much weird shit all the time that it’s commonplace, if that makes sense–but last month when I was still at home, there was a weird disturbance at 5 in the morning. It sounded like a cross between a snivelling child and screeching tires, and kept travelling up and down the block. I figure it must have been an owl, but it was mighty confusing.