Say you are sitting on the platform for the “#2 train”,but its late again.
What helps you get the train back on schedule?
caffeine.
Vitamin C
Taco Bell. A #4 will make you go #2.
Bran. Lots of bran.
Failing that, citrucel. Lots of that, too.
Next step is magnesium citrate.
The #2 train always seems to come way ahead of schedule. Must be all the damn coffee.
I drink alot of coffee and it doesnt do shit (no pun intended) .
Since I have very mild lactose intolerance, something like pizza or following a glass of regular milk with one of Coke usually works; it doesn’t make me sick, merely gets things going. I realize it isn’t particularly healthy, but so far nobody has given me a reason why it would be worse than taking a pill or a glass of milk of magnesia. Another one is whole-grain toast with jam or, taking things one step beyond, whole-grain toast with butter and jam; normally I have the jam-on-toast for breakfast once or twice a week as general train maintenance (plus it counts towards my five-a-day).
Asparagus and artichokes tend to help things along as well. Spinach has the opposite effect.
A couple months back, the train was just refusing to leave the station; someone recommended me an OTC medication called “Fave de Fuca” (something like “Fuca Beans,” only it’s herbal pills) and it worked wonders. No idea which countries it’s available in. Like the immense majority of laxatives and antidiarrheics, it shouldn’t be taken by people who know they have an intestinal problem.
Fear of being judged and found wanting. This is a risk not when I am just late, but have already given an excuse and might be called to report at any minute. That’s what gets me going, the deadline I’ve created for myself after a missed deadline.
Perhaps useful advice for procrastination in general, but I’m not sure you’ve quite grasped the particular reference of the “#2 train”, TheMadHun…
A boiled egg or two. Within 10 minutes afterwards, I start receiving clear signals that the train is about to leave and I’d better get myself a seat.
Ginger tea made from fresh ginger. Hubby makes a delicious ginger/ orange juice beverage for me (with juice from our oranges, when they’re ripe) that is delicious. We’ve named it “ginger-aid”. Some people say ginger helps with nausea, too, but I found that not to be true for me.
Makes da train go, though.
If anybody’s interested, I’ll ask hubby to post recipe.
Hot black tea with milk.
Hot or Buffalo wings, the spicier, the better.
Deep fried anything - too much fat getting into the digestive tract will grease anything into exiting post haste…
First night back after the hysterectomy, they were recommending milk of magnesia [and gave me a prescription for it] I had mrAru make frittered deep fried summer squash slices. They were perfect, thin sliced, tender on the inside, crunchy tempura batter on the outside, batter spiced up with some black pepper, sea salt and thyme … next morning the train pulls out perfectly in time …
I normally don’t have issues, I get about half again the recommended daily fibre, as I just love veggies and have no problem getting in 10 portions a day [i prefer veggies to fruit, but will occasionally sub in a perfect juicy pear or half a perfect mango if we score well in the grocery. I have a beautiful perfect bosc pear sitting here looking at me … it is going to be dessert =) ]
Dang it, now I wants me some fried squash.
A smoke and a beer. Repeat until train arrives.
ETA: oh. right. Just a smoke and possibly some coffee then. I don’t usually have this problem. 
To get the train moving, eat about a dozen dried apricots. Add in a few dried prunes and the train is almost sure to leave the station very shortly. A can of diet soda helps, and as a last resort fire up the boiler with a couple bowls of homemade onion soup. Use lots of onions and stay near the platform because once the horn sounds…
“The train it won’t stop moving no way to slow down.”
Yeah… wait, what?
There is a particular frame of mind I can get into that helps the bombs drop. I have no idea how or why it works, but it does.
I didn’t know there was a timetable. My train leaves when all on board are ready to go.