Sometimes I daydream that I was in some horrible accident and some part of me is terribly mutilated. I think about how much more difficult it would be at work, where I work with little kids, and how hard it would be to interact normally with other people. Would they be predjudiced against me because of my appearance? How much harder would it be to be in a realtionship with someone that could get beyond the scars?
Lately I was thinking of rather bizarre deformities. Stuff that would be kind of improbable yet :eek: worthy.
So imagine if you were cursed with a gargantuan navel :eek: Your navel is about the diameter of a drink holder (so you could fit a soda/beer can in it…well at least it would be useful!). So if you were walking around with your belly exposed, you’d have this large gaping cavity in your abdomen.
In Robert A. Heinlein’s Friday, the eponymous character has a surgically-altered navel which appears normal, but has an elastic ring which conceals a capacious cavity to facilitate smuggling.
Then there’s always the Kids in the Hall “navel depth” sketch. “Hey! My car keys!”
Can’t honestly say that there are any deformities I’ve fantasized about having, though. Not even any of those that spammers seem to think we’re all obsessed with.
A weird way I pass the time is asking myself hypothetical questions like “if someone gave me ten million dollars, would I give up an arm or a leg?” (the answer was no)
I once had a dream that it was the latest fashion to gouge out one of your eyes with a dessert spoon, then hold that spoon up to your eye like opera glasses. And in my dream, I thought it was a great idea - so I did it, and instantly regretted it. And to top it off, fashion changed, and having two eyes became all the rage again. :smack: I woke up in a cold sweat, let me tell you.
When I’m laying in bed early in the morning and I really gotta pee I fantasize about having a 40 foot prehensile penis. Good for one thing but I imagine a huge pain the rest of the time.
I have to watch out I don’t get too into the fantasy though.
OK, am I the only one thinking about the chick whose website made the rounds of the SDMB a few years ago - the one who wanted to cut her arms off and get the prosthesis and TYPED IN ALL CAPS? Anyone remember her?
Anyone else reminded of that women who wanted steel hooks for hands? I forget the exact catch phrase…something like “40 gauge stainless steel dual hooks.”
There’s even a album cover to use. When I went to KCC there was an old Hawaiian wood print hanging in the library showing a Hawaiian guy standing on the shore of a lake with a 40 foot prehensile penis. Follow the penis from the guy out into the lake onto a boat paddled by several Hawaiian women, one of whom was getting the shaft so to speak. I can’t recall if she was raised out of the boat by it.
Sadly I think they’ve taken it down sometime after 1997. I can’t imagine why.
I did a lot of searching for her web page some months ago for another thread that references her, and while there are plenty of links back to it, as well as the occasional cursory summary, the page itself (or pages - ISTR there being more than one) appears to have, well, disappeared.
I dunno if this counts, but it’d be cool to have a cybernetic arm . . . One that functions just like a normal arm (yeah, I know, not possible yet) but is actually robotic. Oh, and none of that icky flesh-colored rubber on the outside. It has to be black and silver and metal and yeah!