What I REALLY want from women . . .

The BBQ Pit
1

What I really want from the women in my life, in no particular order:

I want you to realize that while it’s fine to have guilty pleasures, being in your 30s and obsessed with “The Hills” is kinda pathetic.

I want you to not be so touchy you get furious at a random comment. When you’ve been friends with someone for well over a year, it’s okay give them the benefit of the doubt.

I want you to figure out that yes, dating DOES involve doing something proactive once in a while.

I want you to stop making decisions about the course of our mutual future without informing me first.

I want you to realize their are are more types of men in the world besides your father and your last asshole boyfriend.

I want you to realize that sometimes people get mad, sometimes they even yell when they’re mad. It’s not the end of the world.

I want you to realize that staying home without working at all for 15 years to raise kids is probably not an option unless you marry a guy making $70k+ a year.

I want you to realize that guys making $70k+ a year who are under 40 years old with six-pack abs, heterosexual, single, and actually wanting to settle down with a housewife aren’t that common.

I want you to realize there are some things men like just because they are men. No, we can’t explain, nor do we especially need to. Women don’t need to understand to get by.

I want you to realize that being nice to you is not the same as hitting on you.

I want you to stop complaining about how uncomfortable “women’s” fashion is. High heels hurt your feet? Don’t wear them. Nobody made you wear them to begin with.

I want you to realize your ability to call yourself “independent” is inversely proportionate to the amount of money you accept from your parents.

2

Well, I hope you feel better for getting that off your chest. 5 cents please.

3

You misspelled “children.”

I’m going to pretty much agree with the other points, though.

4

Sounds like the problem is that you aren’t hanging around with women, you’re hanging around with girls who happen to be in their 30s.

5

So… blowjobs don’t even make the list?

Huh.

6

You might want to rephrase that to “staying home without holding a job” or “staying home rather than pursuing a career”. Raising kids is work.

If they’re supposed to put up with you the way you are and you don’t have to justify it, why can’t you put up with them the way they are?

7

Never thought of it that way! So . . . where are the real women?

8

That’s stretching what I said past the content of my words. “SOME things” means just that, some things, not all. And I don’t need to, any more than they do.

9

Can I make an irrelevant post to say “Hi Lisa!”

10

Hope springs eternal.

11

If it’s any consolation, I have known more than one woman who could be the target of the OP. I’m not sure that it would make anyone feel better to know that, but it’s not like you picked the only one… Just move on. Just like there are tons of asshole guys out there, there are good ones too. Same goes for the women.

12

Well, hello there. How’s married life and America treating you? :smiley:

13

I want you to realize that while it’s fine to have guilty pleasures, I’m not going to enjoy watching Oprah with you, but I’ll do it if you watch Mythbusters with me.

I want you to not be so touchy you get furious at a random grope.

I want you to figure out that yes, a relationship DOES involve doing something a little gross once in a while.

If you’re making decisions about the course of our mutual future, just tell me more than 10 minutes before we have to leave.

I want you to realize that oogling other chicks isn’t an insult to you, I’m just a pig like that. I probably won’t touch 'em.

I want you to realize that sometimes people get grouchy even without having a period.

I want you to realize that staying home for more than 30 minutes without interruption is a good excuse for sex.

I’m probably not going to get better looking as I get older, you might not either. That’s not a problem for me. Let’s get nekkid and do stuff.

I want you to realize there are some things men like just because they are men. No, we can’t explain. But what’s up with all the shoes? Seriously.

I want you to realize that being nice to you is the same as hitting on you. Unless I’m being nice to another woman. No way was I hitting on her.

I want you to understand that backrubs should lead to sex.

Blowjobs.

14

Since this is the Pit, I suppose I should curse a lot about it. But no, married life is good and the USA is, well, the USA - it’s not like I didn’t know what to expect :smiley:

I live in a trailer in WV now, after a dispute between Ly and MamaLy ended my two years in Harrisburg. It’s cool here - we even have our very own car farm :slight_smile:

15

Things I want from men:

I want you to realize that while there’s no excuse for watching The Hills, there’s also no excuse for spending good money on pay-per-view “sports”, or good time playing video games. Leave me alone with my silly vices, and I’ll do the same for you.

I want you to not freak the fuck out every time another guy is nice to me. Apparently, it doesn’t mean he’s hitting on me.

I want you realize there are more kinds of women in the world than your mom and your “slutty” and/or “bitchy” ex.

I want you to realize that if I haven’t SAID that I’m not seeing other people, then I’m seeing other people.

I want you to realize that when I say I’m not looking for a serious relationship, it’s because I’m not looking for a serious relationship. It’s not bait, and I’m not going to change my mind.

I want you to realize that calling “just to say hi” is sweet, if rare. If it’s not, you’re making a nuisance of yourself.

I want you to realize that the financially and socially independent woman you say you want really, truly, no matter how unbelievable you may find it, isn’t going to be inclined to devote her life to making you happy.

I want you to realize that no, I really don’t want to snuggle. I’m done now, you can go. Yes, really.

And while we’re here, could you please stop talking to my boobs?

16

That’s asking a bit much, isn’t it?

17

I want a shag,everything else is negotiable.

18

Women like the women you are looking for do exist. By their 30’s, though, they already manifest these traits or probably never will.

19

Is $70k considered a lot of money?

20

It is if you haven’t got any.