Can you blame them? Didn’t you read that study that said they were more likely to be killed in a terrorist attack than have a decent orgasm?
[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist]
I want you to understand that backrubs should lead to sex.
Blowjobs.
[/QUOTE]
Wow - you really are an optimist.
Well if she gives him a really good backrub he might be flexible enough to suck his own dick and she can get back to The Hills
I just want them to realise that my penis isn’t really all that small.
Oh and stop laughing
[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist]
If you’re making decisions about the course of our mutual future, just tell me more than 10 minutes before we have to leave.
[/QUOTE]
That way she doesn’t give you a chance to weasel out. You should give her credit for paying attention.
[QUOTE=Lizard]
I want you to realize that guys making $70k+ a year who are under 40 years old with six-pack abs, heterosexual, single, and actually wanting to settle down with a housewife aren’t that common.
[/QUOTE]
If the main thing you’re looking for is someone who is “hot”, don’t be surprised when she spends a lot of time and money on clothes, shoes, makeup, hair, and diets. That look doesn’t come without effort. If you want someone who doesn’t spend a lot of time on that stuff, don’t expect someone who looks like she does.
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove]
Can you blame them? Didn’t you read that study that said they were more likely to be killed in a terrorist attack than have a decent orgasm?
[/QUOTE]
Then they need to learn how to really love their peaches and thoroughly shake their own tree. There are appliances you can get to help, sheesh.
I want you to realize that when I say “I’m not looking for a serious relationship” that means I’m not looking for a serious relationship with you. I just want to fuck. So don’t get all mushy on me.
Oink.
All I want from women:
Be %(#*$@&!( consistent! I don’t care if you have strange habits, or do weird shit, or get upset with specific things no matter how random, all I ask is that I can at least have some sort of ideas on how to understand it.
Really, I want more than that, like a woman who actually acts in a somewhat logical manner, but, meh, not many people out there that do that, much less women, so I’ll settle for ordered madness
Why is thinking something women never do?
And why is logic never even tried?
Straightening up their hair is all they ever do.
Why don’t they straighten up the mess that’s inside?
Why can’t a woman behave like a man?
If I was a woman who’d been to a ball,
Been hailed as a princess by one and by all;
Would I start weeping like a bathtub overflowing,
Or carry on as if my home were in a tree?
Would I run off and never tell me where I’m going?
Why can’t a woman be like me?
[QUOTE=dropzone]
That way she doesn’t give you a chance to weasel out. You should give her credit for paying attention.
[/QUOTE]
Oh, she’s got me figured out all right.
Some might say that’s not very hard.
[QUOTE=SHAKES]
I want you to realize that when I say “I’m not looking for a serious relationship” that means I’m not looking for a serious relationship with you. I just want to fuck. So don’t get all mushy on me.
Oink.
[/QUOTE]
Along the same lines:
If we have dated and are no longer doing so, I don’t want to talk about why that is. Not more than once, anyway. I have no interest in answering questions four weeks later, and if you mischaracterize the reasons to someone else in front of me, in an attempt to goad into a discussion, then I will have to change my position regarding whether we can still be friends.
[QUOTE=gigi]
Ahh, so it’s “know” in the Biblical sense. Good to, uh, know.
[/QUOTE]
:sniffle:
Sometimes, gigi, it’s like you’re the only one who understands me.
[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist]
Oh, she’s got me figured out all right.
Some might say that’s not very hard.
[/QUOTE]
She’s just a woman and should be happy for that small victory.
d&r
[QUOTE=elucidator]
In bestowing wisdom on the Err Apparent, I have distilled paternal advice down to a simple formula: avoid any woman with more than two cats.
[/QUOTE]
Pbbbtht. 
Glad my husband wasn’t listening to you. Well, technically, I only had one when we met. We’re up to three currently.
[QUOTE=DianaG]
I want you to not freak the fuck out every time another guy is nice to me. Apparently, it doesn’t mean he’s hitting on me.
[/QUOTE]
Sorry to say this, but yes, it does.
[QUOTE=dmatsch]
Sorry to say this, but yes, it does.
[/QUOTE]
It was the OP who said it didn’t. Either way, how about “Don’t freak out because someone is hitting on me?”
[QUOTE=LavenderBlue]
What I really want from cats . . .
<snip>
[/QUOTE]
At least you didn’t end it with
[QUOTE=Bobotheoptimist]
Blowjobs.
[/QUOTE]
[QUOTE=Slithy Tove]
Can you blame them? Didn’t you read that study that said they were more likely to be killed in a terrorist attack than have a decent orgasm?
[/QUOTE]
My terrorist attacks cause orgasms.
[QUOTE=saoirse]
It was the OP who said it didn’t. Either way, how about “Don’t freak out because someone is hitting on me?”
[/QUOTE]
Female being nice to Male != Male being nice to female.
Revised statement is much better. Thanks for the quick response. I promise not to freak out, but I don’t have to like it.