What if a friendly extraterrestrial landed in your backyard?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Let’s suppose one day you’re home by yourself and you hear a strange noise outside. You take a look and see a UFO landing. One of those creepy looking grey aliens (with the giant black eyes) gets out and gives you a friendly wave.

Some ground rules:

The alien can understand you and carry on a meaningful and sophisticated conversation however he (she/it) does not necessarily know or understand everything about how you and your world work.

The alien may be willing to share his technology with you but how you ask will inform his opinion on humanity. So if you decide to ask him to help you take over the world, he reserves the right to flip you his equivalent of the bird and take off.

Although you are the alien’s tour guide, he has every right to abandon you if he no longer finds you useful. Therefore, if you take him to Lawrence Livermore and you can’t even get past the gate (while he is ushered away by astounded scientists) you can assume your usefulness to him is at an end.

Aside from his UFO (which can cloak) and immunity from death, the alien doesn’t have any special powers like mind control or whatnot. The UFO only has room for him so unless you agree to meet him somewhere, he gets around your way, not vice versa.

The alien is your guest for as long as you wish. What do you do with him?

2

Kill 'em & eat 'em.

3

A whimsical, but more violent, previous thread by yours truly

4

I would hope he’d be like Alf, the world needs laughter. “I crack me up”

If he was like that Martian from “My Favorite Martian,” I’d tell him to leave.

5

Just because he seems friendly does not mean that he is harmless. Maybe he harbors super germs. Maybe he will catch something from me and spread it in mutated form. Maybe he/she/it is playing me for some reason. I need to be anxious and skeptical. First I think we’d need to have a long discussion to work out why he was here and chose me. What does he want and why am I involved? I’m not sure what possible good could come of it for me beyond it being interesting and possibly bringing fame or infamy. Despite the stipulation going in, I really have no way of confirming that the alien can’t read my mind or control it. He’s only got one crappy little space machine for himself. After mulling this over briefly, I’d just as soon that the alien move on to someone else now.

6

“It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again.”

7

I’d ask, ‘Are you here for my colonoscopy?’

8

For all I know, a “friendly wave” from another culture is really a challenge to fight.

9

“Oh, you must be looking for Skaald.”
-D/a

10

I’d let him live in my attic and dress in disguises, like Roger on “American Dad.”