You’e going to have to die, my friend. We need those spiders, whether people like them or not. Best just to get a gun and do it quickly.
Dig a huge ditch around yourself and line it with bathtub enamel.
Experience tells me there’s no way the feckers will get out of there.
Take off and nuke them from orbit.
Spiders are not that intelligent. Put on some Groucho glasses and they won’t know that it’s you.
They will when the ditch fills up with wriggling black multi-legged doom.
Now there’s a visual!
If you don’t want to move to some remote, inhospitable place then I would suggest you first do a quick read of “Leiningen Versus the Ants”.
Then learn how to tap dance and get yourself a pair of those big clown-shoes.
You are on your own to figure out how to do nap times and potty breaks.
It did occur to me that there would be a business opportunity. Say I rock up to some Australian tourist resort and offer to sit in a boat a couple of hundred miles away. Said resort can then advertise to tourists a completely poisonous spider free holiday!
But then it also occurred to me that there may be some countries perfectly happy to shoot me dead rather than let me travel across their land or air, trailing a flood of millions of spiders behind me. If no country will let me cross their border, thats going to make staying mobile a lot harder.
I would gladly sacrifice every living thing on this planet if it meant the eradication of the minions of Dogar & Kazon. That said, if I caught wind of such a spidery plan as advanced in the OP, I’d be dead by gunshot within minutes. Even if my victory was assured, I would not be up to the battle.
If you were a one of the Southwest Indian groups, you’d never kill a spider to begin with. Reference the tale of the Spider Grandmother.
Just be thankful Spider Monkeys don’t come into play!
How about you dress up to look like a big freaky mutated spider yourself, complete with a gooey web spinning sphincter? Your arachnid enemies will not be able to recognize you anymore.
You might have some trouble entering and exiting your office though, and your boss will probably deny you a promotion until you reform your arachnid tendencies.
And strangely, there has been a movie that is very close to this exact story.
“Kingdom of the Spiders”…drumrolll…starring… more drumroll…William Shatner.
The fact that I’ve seen this movie in its first run on TV should tell you I wasted my youth.
Just don’t let them get you cornered up against a wall.
Because then you’d be stuck between arach’nd a hard place…
Just don’t make your plight known to anyone. Traveling between two locations thousand of miles apart with spiders crawling toward you, but never getting closer to you than hundreds of miles should not draw suspicion to you. It would be unlikely scientists would even surmise that the spider attractor was even a living creature. Some type of non-organic quality would be considered more likely, like magnetic field differences.
Allow me to be the first to boo this.
booooooooo.
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Well if the word has been sent out to ‘get bucky’ then my house spiders are clearly neutral towards you as they are still happily fighting the small colony of silverfish* residing between the washing machine and my flash dutch sink units,i believe in a live and let live world and make no attempt to kill anything that crawls hops or scuttles in uninvited and as such the spiders and silverfish are completely tame,maybe they have extended the leg of friendship towards you in your time of chrysalis.
*however what these eat is a mystery as my kitchen is new and rather clean.
Seconded!
booooooooooo! hissssssssssssss! ![]()
ETA: You paid for a ‘Custom Title’, and you couldn’t come up with anything? ![]()
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Maybe I should wait for the mob to put down the torches and pitchforks before breaking out my mime routine … 
Do you see anyone else with such a glorious, unique title?
I change it occasionally. Maybe it’s time. It would confuse others reading your comment. ![]()
I see nothing for the OP to get upset about. May as well get a good night’s sleep…