What if everyone adopted Trump's rhetoric

“Smith in Accounting is the biggest loser I’ve ever seen. The current report is a total disaster - it’s very bad. I will build a new report and it will the greatest report ever. It will be so beautiful, so accurate, so timely. Here’s the story - I build reports it’s what I do and I’m the best. The absolute best”

Sad.

Bad.

No one in the history of bookkeepers has ever been so maligned and mistreated and underpaid as I have been. Amazing.

I’m writing a post about the - I know all about posting. I’ve had - did you know that former farmers are the greatest posters? Not many do! But I am. People have said so. The post will be the best post. It will have…the posts I write are…did you know, Jews invented message boards? They are smart. The smartest. That’s why they run the world. Not many know that. But I do. I can tell you. People know these things. Smart people, all.

I have great plans for the network. Big plans, huge plans. You will be amazed at how fast the inter-tubes flow. I will polish the hard drives and brush up the servers. I know how to do network things, and I am the best. The very best. This is going to be really, really great. The network will really shine.

Look, having accounting… My uncle was a great mathematician and scientist… good genes, very good genes, OK, very smart, very good, very smart… You know, if you’re a Certified Public Accountant, if I were an MBA, if, like, okay, I had an MBA degree, they would say I’m one of the smartest people in the world… It’s true… But when you’re a Certified Public Accountant they try… oh, do they do a number… that’s why I always start off: Went to college, was a good student, went there, went there, did this, built a fortune… you know I have to give my like credentials all the time, because we’re a little disadvantaged… but you look at the accounting deal, the thing that really bothers me… it would have been so easy, and it’s not as important as these lives are… accounting is powerful; my uncle explained that to me many, many years ago, the power and that was thirty-five years ago… he would explain the power of what’s going to happen and he was right… who would have thought?.. but when you look at what’s going on with the four reports… now it used to be three, now it’s four… but when it was three and even now, I would have said it’s all in the messenger; fellas, and it is fellas because, you know, they don’t, they haven’t figured that the women are smarter right now than the men, so, you know, it’s gonna take them about another hundred and fifty years… but the Persians are great accountants, the Iranians are great accountants, so, and they, they just killed, they just killed us.

Gonna take a pass on this one, as I’m not looking to be divorced.

Alec? Is that you?

NOBODY replies to threads better than me.

If I adopted his rhetoric, and listen, I could do it anytime I wanted because I basically invented it, I would be the best at it, believe me. It would be tremendous, you wouldn’t believe. So great.

I think this thread is unfair! Posters…these posts are clear. Make sense. Big sense. Only the idiot left can’t understand. My son - who is not autistic - but autistic children, they have skills. powers. they can move things with their minds. people have told me. Smart people, they are. Better than liberals. My son understands these. Making fun of people who talk…who post…in words, like these…so unfair! I will write an executive order - the best order. No one can make fun of people anymore.

My AIs are the best AIs. They have all of the beep boop bleep beep bing bing. They do the cyber, the best, which is very hard. So they tell me. They can solve all the problems because they are the best. Trust me, if you have a problem, they can solve it. They’re so good, not just good the best, bigly, you’re going to be sick of them solving all your problems. With me as your researcher, I will make AI great again!

Big League Physics Today
Abstract: Grand Unification Theory and Winning Electoral College Distribution Patterns
Format: Posterboard, 2-color map with bullet-point summary.

“If Smith gets to do accounting, nothing you can do, folks. Although the Second Amendment people… maybe there is, I don’t know.”

With all due respect to Baldwin, nobody can do Trump better than Trump himself.

You said you’d have that report done by today.

No I didn’t.

But I recorded the conversation. Here it is.

That’s fake.

You’re fired.

I invented that phrase, I’m suing.

This might be the best thread ever. I’m dying laughing.

I will build a firewall to keep this thread out and I will make Dopers pay for it!

I have come up with a great post for this thread. It’s an unbelievably complex post. Nobody knew that posting could be so complicated.