What if the Enterprise found Middle Earth?

TOS cast at the conference of the fellowship:

Kirk: One… Ring …to rule them …all, One Ring …to find them, One… Ring to …bring …them all …and in the darkness …bind them …

Elrond: Your Captain speaks … with undo …eloquence upon this graaave matter …at hand

Bones: Get on with it Jim!

Jim: Spock. What would you estimate …theeee… core temperature of this …mount Doom…?

Spock: Not having direct geological scans of the area in question I would approximate it to be between 1200 and 1500 degrees celsius, captain.

Kirk: …and what you say … is the …amount of heat … that…

Bones: For Gods sake, Jim!! Get to it! The suspense is killing me!!

Kirk: …what would you say …is the heat generated by … a hand phaser?

Spock: A hand phaser is not a heat weapon, captain, But it can generate heat within an object significantly more than that of simple magma.

Kirk: …I …see…

**Kirk pulls out his pocket phaser and disintegrates the Ring of Power.

Meanwhile, at Mount Doom…

Sauron: NOOOOOooooooo!!! This cannot be! Theres supposed to be 2 more epics! Nooooooooo!!!.. melts.

Back in Rivendell

Elrond: What manner of magic is this?!

Spock: You do realize you may have violated the Prime Directive.

Kirk: Theyre not a space faring race…Who cares? Call Starfleet. Let them know …that …planet Omega Sigma 4 …where the Starship Belerafon …left that Tolkien book, …has been contacted and treaties have been signed.

…Scotty! 3 to beam up.

Arwen: Captain…?

Kirk: Spock, Bones …you …go ahead … I’ll beam back …in little while…

Bones: Theres also Starfleet regulations against fraternizing with the indigenous culture.

Kirk: Theres no such regulation…

Bones: there ought to be…