With many thanks to BwanaBob for this idea 
So, imagine any of the Treks crossing over into any of Tolkien’s saga’s.
I like the idea of Kirk confronting Morgoth and taking a Silmaril.
“What does God need with jewelry?”
Or, Wesley finds himself in the Shire, like a Gilligan’s Island plot, he just can’t seem to leave.
Picard fights the Nazgul.
WHOOOOO!!!
This is fun!
“Phasers on stun!”
“Fool, no living man may hinder me!”
“Phasers on kill!!!”
“Fool, no living man may hinder me!”
“Hmm…Data, take him.”
I just hope BwanaBob avoids this thread like the plague.
[in the teaser]
Frodo: “What does it say, Greybeard?”
Gandalf: “One nacelle to to go to warp, one nacelle to find them. One nacelle to bring them all to UPN and bind them.”
Frodo: “What does it mean?”
Gandalf (furrowing his brow): “Scott Bakula is coming back to prime time…”
(Far away in his lair) Smaug: "NOOOOOoooo!!!"
(On the Enterprise bridge) Troi: “Cap’n, I sense a strong, evil presense…”
Quantum: “Hey! You’re not Tripp!”
This thread is like a train-wreck; horrific, yet I feel compelled to look 
I bet this thread generates more replies than mine.
Yes, I think that’s pretty much a given 
“That ring – it’s a protable cloaking device!”
Barry
Errr… make that “portable” :smack:
That really depends on which Enterprise and which Captain.
If it was the NCC-1701-A Then Kirk wouldve caught Arwen on the rebound, boinked her a few times, make her forget that Aragorn guy and made sure she was sent off properly. Spock wouldve thought the elves fascinating. Scotty wouldve taken as many elven stuff as he could get and they mightve cured Bones so that he may still be alive somewhere. They wouldve discussed the situation with Gandalf and wouldve either taken the ring of doom with them (at which case Sauron would certainly be powerless forever) or they couldve transported the ring straight into Mount Doom and saved the Elijah Wood lookalike a whole lot of grief.
If it was the NCC-1701-E, then everyone would dress the part, tag along with the fellowship, have a jolly good time but when things get really messy, they figure they cant interfere because of the Prime Directive and leave. As they are leaving, Riker will “accidentally” forget that he gave Samwise a phaser with only enuf charge for just one shot. Samwise then proceeds to melt the Ring of Doom. Frodo and Samwise have their breakfasts and go home. Meanwhile, the doctor finds that Riker Boinked Eowyn.
At some point, McCoy would be leaning over Boromir saying, “He’s DEAD Jim!”
Arwen? No WAY!
…
Obviously he would have been after Theoden’s daugher…
H’nope. Sauron would have been very cross, but he would have conquered all of Middle Earth.
The copyright lawsuit to rule them all.
Arwen? Eowyn? No, no… Riker would have boinked Shelob.
I mean, consider: She’s at least 50% female, she moves, she has at least some semblence of reality, and she doesn’t run away screaming (faster than Riker can chase her). She fits all of his qualifications for the perfect mate!
Which brings up the point, who would win between a ringless Sauron and a ring-weilding Kirk?
Kirk would probably find a mouldering American flag in Mordor, and get all the Orcs to join his side by reciting the pledge of alliegence.
Perhaps Saruman would capture Worf and make a new breed of Orc. But (here’s the kicker) he would actually have them taught to shoot!
No more missing the bad guy who’s only 3.217 meters away!
Wait, if he’s an Orc, he would be a bad guy.
And far below the surface, a warp powered Balrog would be awakended. :eek:
Yeah, me likey…
It needs to be said.
“You know, before I answer any more questions there’s something I wanted to say. Having received all your letters over the years, and I’ve spoken to many of you, and some of you have traveled… y’know… hundreds of miles to be here, I’d just like to say… GET A LIFE, will you people? I mean, for crying out loud, it’s just a TV show! I mean, look at you, look at the way you’re dressed! You’ve turned an enjoyable little job, that I did as a lark for a few years, into a COLOSSAL WASTE OF TIME! I mean, how old are you people? What have you done with yourselves? You, you must be almost 30… have you ever kissed a girl? I didn’t think so! There’s a whole world out there! When I was your age, I didn’t watch television! I LIVED! So… move out of your parent’s basements! And get your own apartments and GROW THE HELL UP! I mean, it’s just a TV show dammit, IT’S JUST A TV SHOW!”
–The Shatster
“Balrog to the bridge. Balrog to the bridge. Kirk out.”
“I am the Balrog. Resistance is futile. Prepare to be AAAAaaarrrrgggghhhh…”
“Spock, who are these space hippies, and what to they want?”
“They seek a planet named Eden, Captain; a planet of utopian harmony and peaceful co-existence. Listen, the leader of their group is singing of their search for their land of bliss:”
“Hey dol! merry dol! ring a dong dillo!
Ring a dong! hop along! fal lal the willow!
Tom Bom, jolly Tom, Tom Bombadillo!”
Dear Paramount Pictures,
Cease a desist blah blah lawsuit blah blah trademark blah blah copyright.
Yours,
Tolkein Lawers Inc.
At the Council in Rivendell:
Elrond: “Now at this last we must take a hard road, a road unforeseen. There lies our hope, if hope it be. To walk into peril – to Mordor. We must send the Ring to the Fire.”
Spock: “That is highly illogical.”
A slight hijack, but years ago when the first Start Trek RPG came out several of us tried to play but, since no one had anything planned for it, we wound up running a Star Trek adventure in a D&D scenario. (D&D, of course, being heavily influenced by Tolkein which makes this somewhat relevent to the thread.)
Spock: Captain! Our magic user just died…
Kirk: (hitting intercom) Dr. Mcoy to the bridge!
Mcoy: I’m a doctor, not a cleric!
Kirk: All right, we need to assemble our party. We’ll need a ranger.
Spock: Captain, my hearing is sensisitve enough to hear someone moving from over a kilometer away.
Kirk: Very good. How about a thief?
Chekov: Aye Keptin. Did you know that I was raised by gypsies in Russia?
Kirk: Thank you Mr. Chekov. Do we have a Paladin?
Scotty: Ooch aye, Captain. I’ll just stop by my cabin to get me claymore!
Kirk: Very good Mister Scott. Are we missing anyone?
Spock: Should we not include a cleric in our party, Captain?
Kirk: Of course. (Hits intercom) Dr. Mcoy to the bridge!
Mcoy: I’m a doctor, not a cleric!
(Later, in the dungeon)
Spock: Captain, I am unable to hear anything through this door but my tricorder indicates that there is movement within.
Kirk: All right. You, take that door down!
(Red shirted crewman phasers door open and is killed by a trap. Several zombies exit the room.)
Mcoy: My god. They’re undead, Jim!
(I could go on, but you get the idea)