What is a good death?

No one may know for sure, but I do think that my grandmothers death was a good one – she died today.

The more I think about it the more I believe it was a good death. She has been delusional for 3 years now, not able to carry on a conversation from one moment to the next. This whole time she has been suffering from what appears to be either TIA’s or small seizures constantly. You could be talking to her, see her face go blank, and she’d not be able to remember what you were talking about. Sometimes the only person she could remember was my father, everyone else was a stranger to her.

More recently she slipped into a semi comatose state – She rarely woke up. The doctors were having a very difficult time controling the level of her medication. About one week ago she stopped taking anything orally, and per her wishes we did not have a feeding tube put in. One week later she died

I feel it was a good death, it was her time to go, and she had lived a good life.

I think anyone that can have a decision about how they die is very lucky. If your grandmother chose not to have the tube put in, and you respected that wish, I think she would have been proud. I know I would want my dignity kept at my weakest moment.

Personally, I don’t want to die. I will fight tooth and nail to stay here and keep kicking ass. But, I would rather go doing something good and something worthy, rather than old and frail. I’d rather die fighting than being old and seing my parents go before me. Call me naive. . .


I haven’t had much experience with death yet, but with 4 grandparents still around and kicking but getting progressively more frail, I’m afraid that this state won’t last much longer.

I think that a good death would be one where you had said everything that you wanted to to the people that you have loved through your life, one with no pain, one knowing that you had touched someone, one knowing that you were loved.

My friend died of a brain tumour in Dec 99 & I still miss him every day. He was one of the most influential people in my life & one of the most loved. He died quietly & with the people he loved most with him. He fought for so long, it was a good death when he finally let go.

I know that it hurts to lose someone you love, no matter how much you were expecting it, and I’m sorry to hear of your loss. Given that each of us has to die someday, I’d say your grandmother’s death sounds like a good one indeed, as I’m sure her life was.