What is a MERKIN?

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
1

While perusing thru “Cecils column”, I came across a post from 1993 entitled, “What is a Merkin”? The writer had some pretty cool quotes from Shakesperean days about a Merkin, but seemed to be under the impression that a Merkin was a fake pussy beard, or a “rug” that women put on their hairless, (for whatever reason), pubic area.
Here is the url to that original post:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a3_232.html

Now, granted this mans inquiry was in 1993, but everyone today knows that a Merkin is just a slang word for that area where a women’s hair grows, or more to the point, grows and then is cut in some very creative shapes and styles, and then given some great names to go along with the cuts.

For example: Her Merkin had a landing patch. or, her Merkin was sportin’ a Hitler cut!

But in doing an internet search I came upon a great link that tells us that the classic movie, “Dr. Strangelove”, used the word Merkin to give one of the characters in the movie a name with a sexual connotation, much like the James Bond movies do today.

I copy this from that link:
Dr. Strangelove, Or: How I Learned To Stop Worrying And Love The …
… funny (and frightening), dark film cleverly cuts back and … Merkin (slang for female
pubic area) Muffley (muff=a … pubic area, or specifically, the pubic hair/fur); …
www.greatestfilms.org/drst.html

And this from that same page describing the choice of names:
"In addition to numerous sexual images and jokes throughout the film, many of the absurd, omnipresent names of the male, military characters (caricatures) have sexual connotations or references that suggest the connection between war, sexual obsession and the male sex drive:
Jack D. Ripper (a notorious English sexual psychopathic killer, or a killer in general)
Mandrake (a medicinal plant root said to encourage fertility or potency)
Buck Turgidson (a “buck” is a male animal or stud, and “turgid” means distended or swollen)
Merkin (slang for female pubic area) Muffley (muff=a woman’s pubic area, or specifically, the pubic hair/fur) "
(among other witty names with double entendre’s and sexual innuendos)… Here is the link to that whole page:
http://www.greatestfilms.org/drst.html

So, what have we learned?
Im not sure, and who really cares? But we should all now know that a Merkin is merely the name given to the pubic area of a womans pudendum, and all that talk in the original Straightdope post entitled, “What is a merkin”, was all silly postjabber, except for the original post that had some pretty cool quotes about a Merkin from as far back as the 1500’s.

My wifes Merkin was a “forest”, until about a month ago and then she built a “landing strip”, and just this morning as I was typing this nonsense she sat here and deforested her Merkin, repaved the landing pad, and is now “a bald eagle”, or a “michael jordan”.

And thats the STRAIGHT DOPE.

RLM
High Desert, Ca
razzell2@mscomm.com

2

Try actually reading the column.

While you’re at it, try to understand that “15”, “16”, and “17” are different numbers.

Oh, and try, too, to understand that just because you think you know the meaning of a word, you just might not be right.

3

I thought a Merkin was what G. Dubya calls his fellow countrymen.

4

Just to add to the confusion there is a fly pattern called a Merkin as well (a fly fishing lure). It’s a saltwater fly, I believe it’s supposed to look like a small crab. Don’t know how it wound up with that name though…

5

An 'merkin…now that is funny as hell!
bwaaaaaahahahahaha
an 'Merkin…
My fellow 'Merkins…
and as for you Mr. Kennedy…
PHHHHHHHHHHT!

6

I forgot to add my signature.

“Just because you have one, doesnt mean you have to act like one!”

7

My, but you’re proud of your ignorance, razzell2. According to my sources (including the OED), the “pubic wig” definition is older than the “pubic region” definition. Furthermore, the “wig” definition has been in wider use to the present day.

8

razzell2–OED means “Oxford English Dictionary”.

The penultimate source for spelling, pronunciation, and definitions of words in the English language.

Just so you’d know.

:slight_smile:

9

What makes you think the OED is the next-to-last source for English reference?

If you being intentionally funny then I chuckle.

10

That particular bananna peel is not for you to slip on. :slight_smile:

11

To add to the confusion, The Joy of Sex says a merkin is an artificial vagina, for use by solo men.

12

I Love Me, Vol. I said,
“I thought a Merkin was what G. Dubya calls his fellow countrymen.” One of the funniest lines I’ve heard in a bit.

Anyway, I go to www.m-w.com to check out their definition of merkin. Nada. So I go to the OED online (which I have access to through a university) to confirm their definition. The definition cited by Dogface is there, but to my surprise, there is a second definition also. The fist was lower case merkin, the second is:

"NEW EDITION:
draft entry June 2002
Merkin, n.2
Chiefly U.S. slang.

An American. Also: American English. "

Then they cite some examples from sources such as the Star Tribune in Minneapolis, and Sun-Sentinel (Fort Lauderdale, Florida).

Those Brits and their wry humor…errr, humour.

13

coffeecat wrote:

In the next post, PbZep typoed:

To which I must reply: well, yeah, in a sense :smiley:

14

Merkin…(this from the OED in the library in my ghetto town)

a merkin is a famous magician in myth, depicted in the recent hit movie, lord of the rings…1 and 2.

now, did i call anyone ignorant dogface? why did you have to go and get all aggressive?
anyway, so there is no confusion on my post about that one liner, a merkin is what g. dubya calls his fellow countrymen"…
i thought that was hilarious.

seeya dogface, im sorry about that aggressive streak your dealing with. seek counseling.
whats with all this snooty OED stuff anyway?

the whole post was a joke in the first place.

russell

15

Yep, ignorance is a joke, all right…

16

Would that be “a joke” in the sense of “something I posted to make other people laugh” or as in “something I posted just to wind up the board members”?

17

No. It was posted in the sense of, I had just read something about a Merkin, and thought I would send a funny post about it.
Thats it, thats all there is, and there aint no more.
I am glad that many responded to the original post, but I never meant for anyone to get angry or get mean or get snobby about it.
Even my Phhhht! to Mr. Anderson, (I think that was the name of the person who blasted me for being ignorant) was meant to be funny. You know, Phhhhhht!. as in a rasberry? A New York cheer?

So, excuse me if I riled any of you up, but no, I’m not in the habit of posting things just to aggravate people.

Im sorry I even posted the darn thing.
Did anyone actually go to the links that I put in the original post? That was the kicker of the whole thing. kept in context, my post and the Dr. Strangelove links were supposed to be funny.

Later guys.
Russell

(i have purposely been leaving my signature out of these posts for fear of being called ignorant or worse… the signature is the actual signature I use on my email and the rare post)

18

Ah, yes, the last gasp of an ignoramus who has been shown up as such. “Uh, it was all a joke. And you’re all snobs, and knowledge is all relative, and it’s all a matter of semantics, and you’re all intolerant, and you need too get counseling–even though I have no qualification as a mental health profession to demand this of you–WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!”

19

ah yes, and from you, a final nasty post from and educated philosopher and wordsmith, way, way too smart for me…
arent you the guy who asked me if i posted things to “wind up” the board members?? isnt that what your trying to do here with me?
anyway, i cant do this with you dogface. i dont have that “killer instinct” that you seem to posess.
and thats a hell of a diagnoses on my “mental health”, from someone who, in the same sentence, admits you have no qualifactions to make that deduction.
and by the way, did i call you a snob? i dont remember calling anyone a snob…you sound very defensive .
touchy subject for you?
sore spot? pushed a button?
i dont remember looking for a button of yours to push to get you so riled up.
must been inadvertant.
seek counseling? me? wow! look in a mirror brother!
you go on and have a good day dogface.
who knows. under different circumstances, you might have been someone to hold a nice, easy conversation with. right now your a little to tense for that.
have a great day dogface.
and the post was indeed a joke, a post to make someone smile…
russ

20

Sometimes, Razzell2, folks on this board get really excited about something you thought was harmless. I see that you’re rather new here, (welcome, by the way) and it must be a bummer to get your ears boxed right away. Don’t get your dander up; just hang in there. I’ve been smacked around a few times in my time here. Sometimes, I was right; sometimes I was fullasht. Some folks here think I’m more on than off; some think I’m just a moron. This is a big community, and you’ll never please everybody.