On a similar note, the best advice I ever got was “Don’t love someone because they have the potential to be something great. Love someone because they are something great.”
I’ve gotten a lot of good advice, but I think the best was “Go to bed at 10:30.” Let me explain.
Many eons ago RickJay was Corporal RickJay, Canadian Armed Forces, and was taking his Combat Leaders’ Course. The CLC is the course you have to take to get beyond the rank of corporal, and it’s hard - much harder, in my opinion, than basic training. Very, very high-pressure.
Anyway, the first week we were run absolute ragged. Up at 0500 for PT, then inspection, classes and drill all day, then homework and preparing for the next day. So we were up 'til like 3 AM shining boots, cleaning rifles, doing homework. Within a week we were dead meat. People were falling down tired.
So one evening I’m the duty corporal and I’m sitting in the duty room with a few other idiots shining boots. In comes the course officer to do the talking-with-the-men thing. (And women.) How’s it going, blah blah blah.
“Well, sir, we’re all pretty tired,” I say.
“Why is that, Corporal,” asks the captain. I explain that we’re up until 3 AM every night. “Well, I have a solution for that, Corporal. Go to bed at 10:30.”
I laugh. “No, sir, you don’t understand… we HAVE to stay up until 3, to get all this stuff done, and…”
“No, corporal, YOU don’t understand,” he says. “Go to bed at 10:30. Just do it. No matter what you are doing at 10:15, finish it up within ten minutes, get ready for bed, and get in. Just do it. Trust me.”
Well, I figured what the hell, the staying up until 3 thing wasn’t working. So that night I started going to bed at 10:30.
As if by magic, everything got done by 10:15. It was the most astounding revelation of my life. Once I was committed to bed by 10:30, all my work was squared away in time. I did not perceive that I was working any more desperately. It just… seemed to be getting done earlier. It was amazing. And I had learned a valuable life lesson; Jones’s Law of Shelf Space.
Jones’s Law of Shelf Space holds that any task will take up all the resources made available to it. It’s called that because of the weird phenomenon of shelves; no matter how many shelves you have they always fill up. If you build new shelves tomorrow, within a month you will need more shelves. But it works for anything else. If you are willing to work until 3 AM, the work will take until 3 AM. If you are willing to allocate $2000 to fixing up the room, it will probably cost $2100.
Once that captain helped me realize this, I started to notice this phenomenon everywhere. I was in university at the time, and I suddenly noticed something interesting; people who didn’t limit their study time just never seemed to get enough studying in. The folks who were willing to stay up all night every night always seemed to be short on study time, but the folks who closed their books at 11 seemed to get enough. One person, a friend of Mrs. RickJay’s, was really bad this way; she would study 50, 60, 70 hours a week, just killing herself, and yet she still did poorly. So I told her to try limiting her study time to a fixed daily amount. She did, and suddenly, she was studying enough to get good marks. It’s the same at work now; people who go home at 5:30 always seem to get their work done, but people willing to stay late never seem to get their work done. And money, well, that should be obvious. That’s why they tell you to pay yourself in a retirement fund BEFORE you pay your expenses. If you make $2000 a month and put away $100 to start, your $1900 will get you by, but if you start out with $2000 and just figure you’ll put away the $100 later it’s amazing how many months you have to spend that hundred bucks. That’s how credit cards murder you - it gives you the perception of additional financial resources, and you always eem to need 'em.
So that was the best advice I ever got. Really opened my eyes to an interesting facet of human behaviour.
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‘Don’t Believe everything you hear’
Gleaned this from Terry Pratchett:
Never ask if it’s okay before you do something.
If you ask if it’s okay, then you are admitting that it probably isn’t, and you are giving THE POWER TO SAY NO to the other person. Just do it, and find out if it’s okay later.
Never turn down a job you haven’t been offered.
It is easier to ask forgiveness than it is to ask permission
Just talk to her.
You can’t make someone love you.
You must be who you want to be.
“Don’t go to grad school where you would want to live.”
The Prof suggested Purdue as a good choice for this reason. Unfortunately, I was already well into grad school in a very lovely city…
I am astonished at the number of people who refuse to consider grad school in a crappy locale. It’s grad school, it’ll encourage you to get it done and leave!
This is easily dismissable because of the circumstances… but it is the best piece of advice I have ever gotten.
I was at a Grateful Dead concert, and was feeling no pain. I was dancing around in the aisle, playing air guitar and having a good time. I paused and thought, what are people around me going to think? I said the same to an acquaintance who was there. He said, “Those people are watching YOU to show THEM what to do.”
I know you’ve told this Grateful Dead Epiphany Story before, but I just love it.
**Mine **:
Never miss an opportunity to take a pee.
Which reminds me of the three rules of growing old…
- Never pass a bathroom.
- Never trust a fart.
- Never waste a hardon.
I always used to get really depressed/maudlin/crazed after a breakup, until I heard Zappa’s “Broken Hearts are for Assholes”. Kinda made me realize I was being a tool.
My dad, an executive, told me when I was a kid that everybody’s favorite word is their own name, and that one of the most important things about dealing with people is to remember their names. He was right, too.
Also:
You can’t make him love you. No really. No, this is not a special case. Yes, him too.
If he’s rude to the waiter, you didn’t want him anyway.
Always be polite to secretaries.
You have two ears and one mouth, so you should listen twice as much as you speak.
There’s a difference between hearing and listening.
On the ladder of success, the fingers you step on today may be the ass you have to kiss tomorrow. Act accordingly.
Be honest. Your reputation is like a Ming vase - if you drop it, you can glue it back together, but it probably won’t ever hold water again.
Me…Oh I’ve had Tons of “Best Advice” from people who all had to learn lifes lessons the hard way…
" Never smoke weed in front of the police station, then offer them a hit when they all come running toward you"
" Never offer a cop a Doughnut while your under interrogation"
" Never Kick a pit bull then try to outrun it, it will catch you"
" Never practice Black Magic in Church"
" Never accuse a reverend of sorcerery"
And most of all : “No matter how much of a rush you are in, Never try to iron your shirt while its still on your body” :eek:
Zette, that’s the best advice I’ve ever gotten, and I intend to practice it in the future. Thank you. 
after a breakup, feeling lonely at home a lot, a friend once told me:
“your friends all love you, but they’re not psychic. If you need them, ask and they’ll be there for you, but don’t expect them to automatically know what you need”
it totally worked, good friends don’t think it’s an imposition to drop what they’re doing to help you through anything.
From my Dad:
People love their companies; companies don’t love their people.
On a similar note to this, when I was working in a cubicle farm some years back I followed a piece of advice from The Dilbert Principle that is some of the best advice I ever read. It’s not verbatim, but the jist is:
“Whenever you’re walking through the cubicles, take a clipboard holding printed paper on it. People we’re assume you’re wandering around is work related.”
It absolutely works.
Of course my favorite literary advice would be selections from The Notebooks of Lazarus Long. Please read- they’re far better than that “Everything I needed to know I learned in kindergarden” glurge.
Never take sleeping pills and laxatives together.
Always let your face light up when you see your child come into the room, no matter how harried you are. It shows her how much she means to you.
Also important: Wipe from front to back.