A few–
“Stop crying! It happened to her (my mom), not you!” --Best Friend
“Relationships are a two-way street.” --Professor
“In everything, you have a choice.” ??M. Scott Peck?
“Avoid toxic people.” Common saying, right?
“It’s OK to not know why you’re sad.” --Hubby
“While you’re in high school, DONT BE AN ASSHOLE. You don’t have any idea how often you’re going to run into these people, and how much business they’re going to give you.”
–Dad.
My 5th Grade homeroom teacher passed out an assignment to us one day, with no further verbal instruction. It was one sheet of paper with a list of “things to do” on it. For the most part, everyone in the room started doing everything, including myself. It consisted of things like: [ul][li]Write your name on the top/right corner of this page.[/li][li]Write the product of 2 x 2.[/li][li]Clap your hands twice.[/li][li]Get up, walk around your chair and sit back down.[/ul] The girl next to me wasn’t doing anything and I admonished her that she’d better do the assignment or she’d get in trouble. She ignored me.[/li]
And then I got to the last item on the list: [ul][]Do none of the above.[/ul] How the hell could that be?!! Well, easy, if you’d’ve paid attention to the FIRST thing on the list, dummy: [ul][]Read everything before doing anything.[/ul] Learning that lesson has saved my ass in quite a few contractual negotiations throughout my life. Seriously. It doesn’t even have to be “fine print,” often egregious stuff in contracts is right there if you’d just take the time to read the document thoroughly.
Be sure to have good health insurance by age 30.
Also…
Always act like you know what you’re doing.
Isn’t that strange? I don’t believe I’ve been given ANY good advance. Hmm. Have to think about it some more.
Way before the modern information age one of my teachers told me, “Don’t bother memorising anything that you can easily look up.”
I was going to post something along those lines, but I think the real issue is that I never listened to all the good advice I was given. I had to learn the lessons for myself, and now have only vague memories of who told me what. So, the best advice I can give is to listen to all the good advice other’s give!
“Find what you love do to, and find a way to make money doing it.”
-dad - Although he didn’t trademark it, he said it often.
I’ve yet to find a way to make money by doing nothing.
Long ago in another job, I was feeling all surly and resentful about doing all the work while my coworkers spent so much time goofing around and gossipping. My manager called me into her office and offered these words of wisdom:
“I know it drives you crazy to work with these people, but you have to remember that it drive them crazy to work with you.”
I’ve had a better outlook on life ever since.
Thanks RickJay. I’m emailing this to my techalol, away-during-the-week-working-on-the-weekend, bring-the-laptop-into-the-bathroom, never coming to bed, don’t have time to play ball with the kids, dinner reheating, never on time husband.
One that I’ve ignored many times and always regretted…
Never get involved in a boy and girl fight…
(William Burroughs) 
Fate is what happens when you fail to choose/act.
Declan
From my grandmother:
“I don’t give advice. People are going to end up doing what they want anyway, and the only way you learn is by making mistakes. I will give my opinion, but that’s not the same as advice. People don’t feel obligated to follow it.”
Good advice I’ve been given:
Work a year or two after high school graduation. You don’t have to decide immediately what you want to do with the rest of your life and until you do, college is pointless. You’ve got time.
Don’t even think about getting married until you both have jobs, reliable transportation and somewhere to live. Love won’t pay your bills.
You will not use the credit card “just for emergencies,” so don’t even get one.
When cold weather sets in put a big blanket in the trunk, you may break down sometime and have to walk a distance (this actually happened to me). You also need food and water packed in there. You should ALWAYS have a giant flashlight in the car with good batteries in it.
Good advice I have to give:
Be nice to the fat girl in high school. She’ll probably show up skinny and hot at your first reunion and if you were mean to her, you’ll never have a chance with her. Be nice to the nerds, too, as they will be rich and able to give you a job someday.
Just elope. The cost and stress of a wedding aren’t worth it. The cost of a honeymoon in an exotic location is, though.
When deciding who to marry, watch how your man treats his mother. Also take a long hard look at his father, if he’s around. He will treat you like he treats his mom, and he will turn into his dad once the glow of being a newlywed fades. Choose wisely.
“If you are truly OK with who you are, you won’t ever feel the need to be defnsive.”
“If you can’t get through someone, go around them.”
“There are two ways to get trhough life, you can be very smart or very nice. I recommend nice.”
“Dates should never be fixer-upper projects.”
“Never worry about money. In the end, we all end up in the same place.”
From “Rules of Thumb”, an odd paperback I picked up somewhere:
“Never steal anything worth less than twice your annual salary, not even a ball-point pen.”
I’ve added my own collorary, for companies:
“Never give an employee access to anything worth more than twice their annual salary.”
My company is ssoooo screwed.
You can think whatever you want, just be very careful what you say.
Ever want to know what someone is REALLY like? Get them mad at you.
Don’t let other people form YOUR opinions for you.
If you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up.
If someone says something unkind about you, live so that no one will believe it.
The greater a person’s sense of guilt, the greater his need to cast blame on others.
You can tell a lot about a man by the way he handles these three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights.
Whenever I decide to do something using kindness, I usually make the right decision.
These types of threads are my absolute favorites.
Sinshine posted this one in another thread, but it bears repeating:
Here’s a personal one if you’re a little shy (like me): I found that when I ask questions as a method of taking the attention away from me, I become less self-conscious. That usually takes the edge off of my shyness and I think I come across as less shy and awkward. People like talking about themselves as much as hearing their own name (like Zsofia’s dad’s advice). Dale Carnegie has an example in his first book where he played avid listener to a distinguished botanist without contributing anything to the conversation except questions and a willing ear. Afterward, the botanist told everyone what a ‘most interesting conversationalist’ Mr. Carnegie was.
Several Pieces of Advice…
Don’t crap where you eat.
Don’t bring a knife to a gun fight.
Think with your heart, lead with your head.
If it’s not fun, it’s not done.
If you are nothing else, be loyal.
Love yourself first, everyone else later, and often.