the “facts of life” talk I had with my dad was pretty good advice…
A little background… I was about 14… Dad and I had been doing some fencing (that is digging post-holes and stringing barbed wire, not sword fighting) we were in the truck driving back up to the house after a long, hard day… Dad said:
“Son?”
I said “yeah, Dad?”
He said “You don’t EVER wanna get crabs, Son.”
“OK, Dad”
end of conversation
Requires a wee bit of background: I do tae kwon do. Generally, at belt testings, there are three main areas of testing: sparring, forms/kicks/etc, and breaking. I used to be very, very bad at breaking. Once failed a testing because of it. Was very upset afterwards. My instructor, the next class I showed up to, talked to me about it. He called me up in front of the class, grabbed four boards (more than I’d ever broken), and told me, “Don’t say anything, dont’ even look at anything but these boards. Break them, right now.”
I didn’t say anything, didn’t look around, and broke them, just like that. Afterwards, he said: “If there’s something you have to do that you’re scared of doing, don’t plan for it. If you try to plan, you’ll just get yourself too stressed to do it. Tell your mind to shut up, that you have to do it, and do it.”
Wise words. Hard to live by.
On our wedding day, one of the doctors my wife works with told me.
" Marriage is like a bucket of shit covered in honey. My advice is to eat slowly."
I have been happily married for ten years.
I found a new piece of advice: Never plan a first date for the evening of a known “Terrible Horrible No-Good Very Bad Day.TM” at the office. It will not go well.
When my engagement ended, I was told “fake it till you make it.” I had a hard time with that, but decided that I would try it for a month before deciding it was total crap. It’s not crap; it’s just not easy.
But you still shouldn’t go on a first date with someone after a really nasty day at the office.
“Being told to touch your toes by a 300-pound inmate is not a happenin’ thing.”
Keeping that in mind has kept me out of alot of trouble.
Also, my therapist once told me that if you get depressed, take a day or two and really get depressed. Stay home, cry, scream, eat all the ice cream in the world, drop off the face of the planet and wallow in your worthlessness. Really go for the gusto or the black pit of doom. Then after the two days are up, get up, get over it and go on.
I want your therapist. Mine thinks crying for half an hour is bad. I like your way better.
It’s at least amongst the most interesting advices I read on this board in the various similar threads…
Philosophical: If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am only for myself, what am I? If not now, when? (thanks, Rabbi Hillel)
Intersection of sports & life: Ride the horse that’s under you. (I was on a horseback riding team in college, the format is to draw the name of an unknown horse out of a hat and then be judged on your skill in riding it cold, with no getting-to-know-you or warmup. No sense complaining that this one is too tall, short, slow, fast, or an all-around punkass. You’re judged on the horse you drew and you can’t switch, so suck it up and do your best.)
I guess I learned this one early. We had a saying in high school:
“Work expands to fit the time allotted.”
When I enlisted in the Army my dad told me:
“never stand when you can sit, never sit when you can sleep, never pass up a chance to use the bathroom and NEVER! volunteer for anything”, it took a while for me to realize how wise this advice was/is.
Unclviny
Challenge them to duels? Poke them with swords? Betray King and Country for them?
If you’ve got a 6, 7, 8, and 10, your chances of picking up that 9 on the draw are low. If you’ve got the 5, 7, 8, and 9, your chances of picking up a four or a ten are twice as good.
Maybe you meant you don’t know why he gave you poker advice, and I can’t help you there.
You can do something once every day that you could never do for the rest of your life.
When you look back at your life, the moments that you treasure will probably not be those spent at work. Try to limit them.
“money doesn’t buy happiness” i have heard this alot and its finally starting to make sense. ALl the info i’ve read says when household income goes over 30k, that money doesn’t have much effect anymore. Whatever pleasures you can get with more than 30k a year are transient and have no long term effect on you. Spending until you go into debt can have negative effects on you though.
“its ok to use drugs to get happy”. SSRIs, anti-anxiety meds, herbs, anything that can work to make you feel better is ok, and the benefits you get aren’t ‘fake’
“life isn’t fair”
“Think about your death as often as possible. Pretend its 2074 (which is roughly when i will die) and think about how you will reflect on everything that happened up until that point”
Alot of the advice here is really good. Jones law of shelf space was really good advice. It probably applies to everything (time, money, effort, leisure).
From my dear departed Dad:
The key to happiness: appreciate what you have
The key to lasting love: respect. Loss of respect is fatal to love. Anger passes.
Nobody, on their deathbed, ever regretted not spending more time at work.
From my better half, cancer doc: yes, there is a secret to avoiding cancer, but most people don’t want to believe it:
-eat less meat
-eat more fruit and vegetables
-exercise
And now I think I’ll add the Jones shelf space law to my little collection…
Don’t trust her.
I’m adding this one too.
I’m emailing RickJay’s 10:30 post to some people I think could really use it. That’s some good advice there.
Good advice I’ve gathered over the years:
*Go to the bathroom before you leave.
*It’s easier to keep it clean than to try to clean it all at once.
*Move the appliances once a year and scrub behind them.
*Go outside at least once a day.
*Be honest with your feelings.
*Trust yourself. You know more than you think you know.
*Don’t hit people.
*Never pass up a hug.