"What is the best thing to feed to a corpse?" Questions designed to disorient...

In another thread, someone (I forget who it was, but you know who you are) mentioned the possibility of bombarding Fred Phelps with stupid unanswerable questions (IIRC “why is it hard to juggle pianos?” was one of the suggestions).

I quite like this idea - not that I’ll ever be likely to meet Phelps, but it would be nice to have a few of these up my sleeve for random idiots; any suggestions?

(Personally, I feed my corpses new Pal with marrowbone jelly. It gives their coat a more shiny luster)

how many limbs does the man in the moon have?

Supposedly money doesn’t grow on trees. What does money grow on?

How many angels can you fit on the tip of a needle?

How come if you buy a bed-in-a-bag you get sheets, pillow cases, and a comforter, but no bed? Is it too hard to fit into a bag?

Why is the ocean so near to the shore?
Just exactly who did put the “bop” in the “bop-sha-bop”?

What, isn’t anyone going to ask about the 3rd -gry word? Well, I’m sure not going to.
Do catamarans carry rabies?

[Paul Merton]
How come you can have irony, but there’s no such thing as “sardony”?
[/Paul Merton]

How long does it take for the sun to revolve around the planet Jupiter?

How sharp is a rollerblade?

Oh, shoot - now I can’t stop…

If cats always land on their feet, can a cat with no legs defy gravity?

Blueberries are blue, blackberries are black - so shouldn’t strawberries be sort of beige (straw-colored)?

Do dogs, wolves and foxes all speak the same language?

If you tie a cat to a piece of buttered toast, have you invented a perpetual motion machine?

Can you touch a purple gorilla? Why not?

If you were flying over a lake in a canoe, and one of the wheels fell off, how many pancakes would it take to shingle a doghouse?

If Phelps asks you this one, the reply is “Thirteen - ice cream doesn’t have any bones.”

What’s the difference between an orange?

Kn*ckers, what color is Ras?

Why is a mouse when it spins?

Is is further to Boston than to fly?

Do you drive to work or take your lunch?

Is it colder in February than it is in Alberta?

It’s a shade of red, of course, just like Cran.
How many lightbulbs does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Why can’t I get closed captioning on my radio?

Shouldn’t I get to pay half price if I only buy one pant out of a pair?

If we’re not supposed to eat animals, how come they’re made of meat?

If I can’t prove that a tree has dreams, how can I be sure that it never does?

Why are you Fred Phelps, and not the Governor of Delaware?

Was Mickey Mouse a dog or a cat??

[sub]works best on drunks[/sub]