It seems you are almost smart enough to read.
Guess what? Living increases your chance of dying too, so I it would be better if you’d stop that right away.
I was at an engineering thing at a state university. ‘Smart’ teenagers, advanced engineering classes, etc.
I don’t remember how we ended up on the subject, but we ended up talking about eyes. My roommate insisted that the pupil in eyes is black because the fluid inside the eye is black. No one could convince him that it was clear.
My school lies in the central part of the “county” (or the Swedish equivalent) called Huddinge. Every morning I step off the bus att Huddinge bus station. So does a slightly dimwitted friend of mine. From the bus station, it’s a 30-second walk to the school.
So, one day after the end of the school day, he says that he’s going to the post office in Huddinge. Then he asks “So, do you remember when the bus going to Huddinge leaves?”. I just stare at him, and a couple of seconds later he says “That’s probably the dumbest thing I ever said”.
This was one of the rare times in which I honestly did LOL.
I am going to remember this story and be sure to pass it on to future generations.
This one came up in my French class last semester. One of the girls in my class had lived in Singapore for two or three years and really liked to talk about all of her experiences.
One day, the entire class was sitting around chatting like always and Stephanie starts talking about something in Singapore and mentions Asia. Then another girl chimed in.
“Asia? I always thought Singapore was in Wisconsin!”
Dead silence follows as everybody turns to look at her. Smart girl and all, no previous sign of ditziness. I haven’t laughed that hard in a long time.
Eventually, we found a world map and pointed out Singapore for her.
jessica
Over heard from someone on a cruise:
“Does the water go all the way around this ISLAND!!!”
I heard this constantly thru the winter Olympics. Especially after the women’s bobsled event. They were making a really big deal about her “being the first African-American to win a gold medal”. I heard this on NBC, and read it in the Washington Post. Reading it, it sounds like they were saying she was the first black American to win, when she was really the first black person of any nationality to win. Annoyed the hell outta me.
Here’s a quote from Liz Clarke from Feb 20 in the Post:
Actually, searching thru the archives, it seems only Liz Clarke did this. So I guess I can nominate her for stupidest comment. All the other articles got it correct in saying the first black athlete.
-Mod
“I do.” - Me.
I can top you all.
I used to have a roommate named Alyse. Alyse was a smart girl, but sort of airheaded and a little crazy. She once faked being pregnant for seven months to try to keep a boyfriend.
Anyway, one day it came to pass that Alyse got a date with some guy, who IIRC was named Steve; coincidentally, I happened to sort of know him. So Alyse was talking my ear off about how Steve was perfect for her, how much they had in common, yadda yadda yadda, I was trying to just do my homework, hoping in vain that my obviously disinterested responses would convince her to go away.
ALYSE: WEll he likes this andthatandthisandtheotherthingandblahblahblahblah…
ME: Uh huh.
ALYSE: And he’s gotthisandlikesthatanddoesthis…
ME: I see.
ALYSE: Andwebothlikethisandthatandthoseandthese…
ME: How nice.
ALYSE Andwebothlikemartial arts…
At this I snapped. Alyse wasn’t into martial arts. She wasn’t into any sort of exercise; what the hell was she talking about? I just had to ask.
“Alyse,” I said, “what do you know about the martial arts?”
And then she said it; the Dumbest Thing Ever Said. Prepare yourself.
She said, “Well, I haven’t done any. But I’ve seen a lot of movies.”
This really happened. Honest to God.
I just got back from a wedding. They did not warn me that the ceremony would be preceded by a service. The longest, most boringly hideous thing I ever sat through. There were many stupid things said, but the stupidest of all was:
“Christians are still being persecuted in countries where they are minorities. THey are being persecuted by Muslims and Buddhists.”
Yes, those crazy Buddhists. We all know the only time the stop meditating and seeking inner-peace and harmony is when they are forcing Christians to renounce God, torturing them, and throwing them in jail. :rolleyes:
I was just kidding, SPOOFE. You didn’t notice the big 
? You have a bad day at the orifice or something?
I mean, hey, this is the Pit after all, and you’re allowed to be an asshole. But it isn’t required, even if you are a snot-sucking rat fucker (and I mean that in the nicest possible way ).
Oh, please.
You’re riding a motorbike with an obviously wounded hand, and you expect people to remain quiet about it when you suggest a front brake is “kinda optional” because a motorbike “has a rear brake too”? In a thread about people saying stupid things? At the Straight Dope Message Board?
I mean, putting your own life at risk is one thing. Getting snotty when someone else is stressing that the described behaviour is perhaps not the safest, is another.
In short, get a grip. No pun intended, and all that.
I went to college in Iowa. A girl in my class asked where I was from.
Me: “Seattle.”
Rachel (from Chicago, herself): “Seattle… Nebraska?”
Wha…? I don’t expect everyone to be familiar with every city in the U.S., but Nebraska? Sheesh.
Um. I’m fairly sure Christians have been persecuted by Buddhist authorities in the Far East at various times. I’ll try to dig up a good cite on it when I get the time.
I mean, yeah, it doesn’t really make sense with the Buddhist ethic of peace and compassion and whatnot, but Christianity’s supposed to be all about brotherly love and look at our track record.
If you have those cites, please post them. I have done a few searches, and I have not found a single supported incident of Buddhists actively persecuting Christians. I have seen a great deal of rhetoric, however, all of it is unsubstaniated and most of it is assumptions. “Buddhists live in communist countries, therefore, Buddhists persecute Christians” is the vast majority of claims.
Yeah, that’s what I go too when I searched Google. Silly fundies cluttering up the internet…I’m going to try and track down my old Asian Religions prof in the next couple days and see if she knows any real instances, or if I just hallucinated the whole thing.
The search did give me a fun new candidate for this thread, though:
ROMANCATHOLICISM: POLYTHEISM RUN AMUCK
My favorite is the part about Jesuits being a secret society of assassins.
American tourist approached me in Germany and asked for directions - once I’d sorted him out, he asked me,
“Say - are you from London?”
“No,” I said, “I am from England, though. I come from the other side of the country.”
“Oh - Australia? New Zealand?”
“No, no - I come from England, but not from London. I come from another city.”
“Oh right - in that case, your English is very good. You speak it as well as someone from London!”
“Thank you. I’ve been learning for a while…”
A series of Latin ones (as in Rome, not Mexico). Once we were being super-nerds and playing Pictionary in Latin. The word was “Aegyptus” (Egypt). Drawer draws the Nile delta (amazingly recognizably actually)
Idiotic Girl: Styx!
Drawer: No.
Idiotic Girl: Aegytium!
Drawer: (excited) No, close! Close, come on!
Idiotic Girl: Aegyptmoose!
Drawer: No…
Idiotic Girl: Aegypt-MOOSE!
Drawer: No…
Idiotic Girl: Ae-GYPT-moose!
Drawer: No!
Repeat until time ran out. I’m not kiddinbg, she guessed the same thing for like a full minute. She just changed the emphasis. To this day she is known as Aegyptmoose among those that were there.
Then there was this one kid who was nice enough, I guess, but was amazingly dim and sheltered. He would freak out whenever we discussed a myth involving rape, sex, homosexuality, etc. That led to his classic exclamation: “Oh my God! You said… [sub]LESBIAN[/sub]!!! You can’t say that, you’re a teacher!”
Or when our teacher was explaining the latin phrase “ex cathedra” meaning “from the seat of authority”. The word Cathedral comes from this Latin word, as there is a special priest/bishop chair in all fo them. Anyway, concluding her explanation she asked
“So who could you say speaks ‘ex cathedra?’”
His response? “Wait, first you said it was a chair, now it’s a language? You’re not making any sense!”
And every time we would review in that class he would deny ever having been taught any of the material on the test. Every time we’d go through a review he’d just say over and over again that we’d never seen any of it before. There was the time he just looked at the teacher and said with a tone of wonder “You’re lying! You lie! You lie ALL THE TIME!” We still say that to her whenever there is a chance. 
LC
Said to cow-orker a couple of days ago: “So, what day does Cinco de Mayo fall on this year?”
Some of the guesses were the eighth and seventeenth of May… :rolleyes:
Once at a staff meeting I made a fake complaint about how I noticed that a full 40% of all sick days are taken on either Friday or Monday, and that this must stop. I paused for a second, seeing if anybody got the joke (I had a punch line in mind in case they were all clueless - this is Tennessee, mind you) …
And my boss gets all mad and says that my findings were horrible, that we must review our sick day procedures to protect them from such fraud and abuse! I let her go on and on for a few minutes, then got the subject changed. Though she made unknowingly made a fool of herself I didn’t suffer any reprecussions because I went into her office after the meeting and congratulated her on her sense of humor in playing around with my little prank.
She then goes out and lets the employees know that, of course, she knew I was joking and was in on it the whole time. I didn’t care whether they believed her or not - I was able to pull a prank on my boss that made her look like an idiot, and not only did I did so unwittingly, I got away with it!