I don’t have any wealthy friends with a guesthouse. But lets say I saved a rich dude’s life. What etiquette is expected of me when I visit his LA mansion?
Is it like staying at a hotel? Do you get up at whatever time you want? Fix breakfast in the kitchenette? Or do you go over to the main house for breakfast? Are you intruding if you drop by the main house to have coffee and visit? Or are you being rude if you don’t?
I’d feel disconnected staying in a guest house. I try to fit in when I stay at someone’s home. Get up when they do. Eat when they do. But you don’t know whats happening if you’re in a different building.
Do you just leave a guesthouse like a motel? Bed unmade, wet towels in the bathroom, dishes in the kitchenette. Or do you clean it up spotless? Would that offend the guy’s housekeeper?
Those are some bizarre questions. I have stayed with some truly wealthy people including some with guest houses. It is the same as staying with anyone else and the same rules apply unless the only people you know are really trashy. It isn’t like a hotel. You have to clean up after yourself and realize that you are an invited guest. The rules about when you get up and whether you can use the kitchen on your own depend on your relationship with the person. Some people want you to treat it like your own home and others expect you to be more restrained just like anyone else.
My routine is usually, get up in the morning and have coffee with Mom, while Dad lays in bed and reads the newspaper. I then spend all afternoon at the guest house. In the evening, we usually have something planed.
I leave the guest house clean as it was when I came in. (No house keeper.)
Be sure to bring those paper shoes, as so your feet won’t sully their carpet at any time.
If they deign to invite you into the main house, you may eat standing at the kitchen island. It is considered quite gauche to sit down at the dinner table with your hosts without being asked to do so, using your full name. If your hosts say “Here, John, have a seat”… it’s a test.
Keep in mind at all times your station. These people are better than you, so don’t argue, don’t discuss… it’s probably best if you remain silent the entire visit, communicating only with slight coughs and pointed expressions, just like the domestic help.
Their dogs are always cute, and their children are always the best. You would do well to remember that.
There is undeniably a class difference here. But everybody wants to fit in and be polite visiting friend’s homes. I’ve spent my share of nights on cots and sofa hide-a-beds. A guest house is something I never encountered before. It would be a nice treat for a couple nights.
There were some very wealthy kids in my high school class. I knew several pretty well in high school. But I don’t expect any invitations to stay the night.
Do you think there’s a single set of rules that covers every family guest house in the US? Is there a single set of rules that covers sleeping on a couch in every house in the US?
You pretty much have to get up with the family when you’re on their sofa bed. It gets awkward when their kids start watching tv. I normally fold up the bed, put the cushions in place before going in the kitchen. It’s not a rule. Just being courteous and respectful of my hosts.
I have a few friends that I visit but don’t stay overnight. Sometimes it’s because their wife seems a bit standoffish. Or their kids are obnoxious. I rather spend $40 at Motel 6 and be comfortable. I do have other friends that make me feel very welcome in their homes and I always look forward to seeing them.
So you have a carpenter in the family? I remember those days. We would have Ol’ Joe plane something down just for our amusement. How we liked to watch the wood chips fly! And what emerged was a piece of sculpture.
It wasn’t always planned, sometimes just spontaneous.
Be sure to watch lots of The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air first, you should be able to pick up a lot of pointers from that (substitute pool house for guest house)
We are having a lot of fun here, but I think it’s a reasonable question.
Without any other information I would treat it just as I would a guest room - it just happens to be a detached guest room. I’d make the bed, not leave clothing tossed around, etc. Most homes in my experience even with a housekeeper or maid you still pick up after yourself. If there is a kitchen, then that is probably for snacks, maybe quick breakfasts. Probably you have lunch and dinner plans in the area you are visiting, with or without your hosts.
Finally a good host would manage to casually lay out expectations, and let you know if someone will be making your bed etc. They probably know having a guest house and daily housekeeping isn’t usual for most mortals.
WTF? You had to share a cook?! Did they expect you to share underpants as well?
That reminds me of a fairly distant relative of mine who owns the family estate (think Agatha Christie-style English country manor), another relative said it wasn’t a proper estate because it only had one gatehouse!
Not that I have had the exact experience but I still have some ideas of manners.
How much time to spend with them depends on the relationship. Are they merely offering you a place to stay or are you there specifically to visit with these friends or family? Communicate.
On the last day I would inform the host that I would like to strip and make the beds and ask where I should take the dirty sheets and get clean ones. If they tell me where the laundry and linen closet are then I would be sure to leave the place as neat as I found it or neater. Hospital corners and all. Otherwise they will be telling me that I don’t need to bother cleaning up the place, in which case I’d leave it reasonably tidied up. Never leave a mess. Minimally there is the standard of cleaning for the cleaning woman level.
And a token gift of appreciation - ideally something that you know your host collects or barring that a decent bottle of wine or liquor. An offer along the way of cooking them a meal or taking them out is also a nice thing to do.
But lets say I saved a rich dude’s life. What etiquette is expected of me when I visit his LA mansion?
