More Zevon:
I met a girl at the Rainbow Bar
She asked me if I’d beat her
She took me back to the Hyatt House
I don’t want to talk about it
It’s the delivery on that last line that slays me.
Or Alice Cooper:
I love the dead before they’re cold
Their bluing flesh for me to hold
Cadaver eyes upon me see
NOTHING!
A couple I’m not sure were on purpose:
Scandal, The Warrior
You talk, talk, talk to me
Your eyes touch me physically
*
*
Sounds slimy 
Elton John, Philadelphia Freedom
I like living easy without family ties (living easy)
Till the whippoorwill of freedom zapped me
Right between the eyes
**
I hear that’s good luck! 
Rod Stewart’s You’re in My Heart has two zingers:
You’re Essence and Glamour
(Please pardon the grammar)
&
You’re every love song ever written
But honey, what do you see in me?
“…she told me to come
but I was already there.”
‘You Shook Me All Night Long’
The Police’s “Synchronicity II” has a couple funny lines.
Another suburban family morning
Grandmother screaming at the wall
We have to shout above the din of our rice crispies
and
Every single meeting with his so-called superior
Is a humiliating kick in the crotch
I stand corrected. I first heard it back in the 80s and never bothered to research it. But now it is no longer funny and is removed for consideration from this thread.
Yeah, I never dug the gal’s inorderly fondness for horses either. Weird, they are. Both horses and gals.
Roland aimed his Thompson gun
He didn’t say a word
More Elvis:
So there He was on a water-bed,
Drinking a cola of a mystery brand,
Reading an airport novelette,
Listening to Andrew Lloyd Webber’s “Requiem.”
He said, before it had really begun,
“I prefer the one about My son.”
—God’s Comic
Dial me a valentine, she’s a smooth operator
It’s all so calculated, she’s got a calculator
She’s my soft touch typewriter and I’m her great dictator
—Two Little Hitlers
This is hell, this is hell, this is hell.
“My Favorite Things” are playing
Again and again
But it`s by Julie Andrews
And not by John Coltrane
—This is Hell
Was it a millionaire who said, “Imagine no possessions?”
—The Other Side of Summer
Just this afternoon, I downloaded some Dave Clark Five (which I’d recommend to any fans of the Beatles and other Brit Bands of the 60s). When the first verse of the first song, Over and Over, hit me, I thought “I have got to post this to the lyric thread!”
Everybody there was there?
I asked an English friend if “there” was old slang for cool or something, and he looked at me like I wasn’t all “there”…
I agree, the whole song is funny. I like the line (paraphrased):
We wouldn’t walk to the store
We’d take a limousine because it costs More!
On the album version of Jefferson Starship’s “Miracales”, Marty Balan croons, “I got a taste of the real world when I went down on you girl”.
On the B52s first album, the song Hot Lava includes the lyric: “Fire, fire burning bright. Turn on your love lava. Turn on your lava light.”
Black Flag “Six Pack”
my girlfriend asked me which one i liked better
SIX PACK
i hope the answer won’t upset her
SIX PACK
Motorhead “Eat the Rich” (lots of bad food metaphors here but the best was…)
shetland pony, extra pepperoni
From Buffett’s Margaritaville, referring to his tattoo of a Mexican cutie:
“How it got here I haven’t a clue”
Cracks me up every time.
The (too-) briefly successful '90’s band Toy Matinee, in the song of the same name from the album of the same name, offers up two lines of great wordplay. In one, they contemplate “a fish or a mountain to scale.” In the second, they evoke the image of a crowd watching a circus:
“We’re so easy to please…please…please,
Pleas from the crowd to go on…”
Another song, “The Ballad of Jenny Ledge,” is a lamentation for a beautiful girl the narrator loved, but who left him for “a Vegas king.” He knows she ended up regretting going for the rich flashy guy instead of him.
“Now all she has is a king and a pair
And a tear for what might have been.”
A king and… a pair. Snicker.
The song “Human” by Human League always made me chuckle at the end. Almost the whole song is the male lead singer apologizing for cheating on her while they were away from each other, insisting he’s only human, and begging for forgiveness. The last verse is the female singer answering"
I forgive you, now I ask the same of you
While we were apart, I was human too.
I always crack up at that.
Tom Paxton’s Saturday Night is not considered a serious song. However, the first two choruses start:
Mary & Eddie are busy indeed
Making up for lost time in the rear.
The third chorus goes:
Mary & Eddie are being arrested
For making up time in the rear.
Trying not laughing at that.
And Paxton’s Jesus Christ SRO, after singing the praises of Jesus starring in a Broadway show very tongue in check, ends:
Jesus, you’re really the toast of Broadway
And what a proper superstar you look.
A golden oldie, a blast from the past.
It’s great to see you’ve come back at last.
And some day I just have to read the book.
“Now I have to get up off my knees because I have some shopping to do.”
Diamanda Galás
“Do You Take This Man?”
“Men are animals. But you have to capture one to protect you from all the rest.”
Jo Carol Pierce
Sent from my LG-M150 using Tapatalk
Simon & Garfunkel
Making love in the afternoon with Cecilia
Up in my bedroom (making love)
I got up to wash my face
When I come back to bed someone’s taken my place
Cecilia, you’re breaking my heart
For Black Flag, I’ll go with:
See if you can find the key to your mother’s liquor cabinet (“Thirsty and Miserable”)
The “Eat the Rich” bad food metaphor I preferred:
Sittin’ here in a hired tuxedo,
You wanna see my bacon torpedo!..
(not sure how much of a non-comical song ETR is, though. The title and its sentiments may have noble intentions, but the lyrics…)
In Van Halen’s “Why Can’t This Be Love?”, they cop some beer ad copy with “It’s got what it takes”.
For unintentionally funny song titles, there’s John Mayer’s “Your Body is a Wonderland”.