I think this explains it well. It’s about demonstrating dominance over a representative of a group who the aggressor thinks should be dominated.
Apparently it does sometimes work. I’ve heard it compared to e-mail spam; if you throw it at enough people, eventually you’ll get a positive response. But just like e-mail spam, the proportion of positive responses is tiny, and everyone else is really irritated by it.
You’ve probably never run into a woman who admitted that it worked for the same reason you aren’t likely to run into someone who admits responding to one of those poorly spelled email ads; most people would never do so, and it’s embarrassing to admit it if they actually did.
They do it because it works. And despite the low success rate, they make up for it in volume.
There was a post I read on this message board a few years ago that I found shocking. The poster’s dad stalked their mom for years. It got so bad that their mom moved to Canada to get away from him. Well, as you can imagine, dad moved to Canada and eventually wore mom down enough that they got married and had a baby, who grew up to post on the SDMB. I’m sure that’s not the only story of its kind.
So basically you’re just making this up and can’t support it with anything, not even a story a friend of a friend of a friend told you?
On more than one occasion I have heard women on Fox News say that they like getting cat called and that we should let “Men be Men.” http://mediamatters.org/blog/2014/08/28/let-men-be-men-fox-news-hosts-defend-catcalling/200585
This attitude, that some women respond positively to the catcalling feeds the problem, every douche out there yelling at women on the street can point to some idiot who says they like the harassment.
Even if it’s true that it works on rare occasions, I highly doubt if the guys doing it are doing it for this reason (or for any calculated reason at all). Especially since many or most are not in a position for any follow through at the time even if the woman was interested.
Right, even if it does work 0.000001% of the time for guys on the street catcalling women walking past, that doesn’t explain why men catcall from cars, or men on the street catcall women in their cars stopped at the light.
It sometimes works (or is at least received as a compliment) because for so long we have taught girls that male approval of their looks/body is the pinnacle of their achievement on this planet.
Yeah, it would be funny to see someone call their bluff in an equally aggressive way.
No doubt. But there have been writers and commentators saying that they see catcalling as a compliment and it undermines the argument that many women make that it is unwelcome and threatening behavior.
I’m not condoning the catcalling, I’m just providing context for why some men tell themselves that they’re actually paying the women compliments when they catcall. There are female Uncle Toms out there encouraging their behavior.
I used to work with a guy that used the same old creepy line over and over. " I wish I knew what vitamins you are taking cause you sure look healthy". That line would get him laid now and then.
Right, we’re saying the same thing, I think.
When they ask men who catcall why they catcall, they mostly give a bunch of bullshit answers, none of which include a) trying to get laid, or b) trying to compliment the women.
I think most men don’t know why they catcall. Most men are completely unaware of when they exhibit harassing and intimidating behavior towards women, at least until human resources drags them into sensitivity training.
I imagine even for these women who do like it, it depends a lot on how vulgar/crude/threatening the language and situation are.
But I also think what makes it much more complicated is that even a lot of women who don’t like getting catcalled net-net do like it on some level. Because it reinforces their attractiveness. I’ve seen many women who have said this - that when they’ve seen a noticeable decline in the level of catcalling they attract it made them feel that they were over-the-hill and no longer at their former level of attractiveness, or conversely that they went somewhere and got some cat-calling which reassured them that they still had it.
The important thing is that it’s not like these women enjoyed it or would enjoy it even after the above. They would prefer if they didn’t have to live in a world where women’s appearances get rated by random jerks in the street. But once they do live in that world and are getting rated, they would prefer to be rated highly.
People are complex.
And of course, YMMV.
On the other side of the coin, lets say a man walks out of a store and is standing still in the parking lot. He isn’t speaking to or interacting with anyone (lets say he was just checking his receipt) and he is totally silent and minding his own business.
Suddenly, he is startled out of concentrating on the receipt because he notices that someone is rapidly walking right towards him. Its a young woman who may or may not be walking to her car but she is walking right at the man, who is doing nothing but standing there.
She is staring at him as she does so. Suddenly, a well-practiced stink eye breaks out across her face as she stares at him & she tries to stare him down with a face indicating that he has done something wrong.
Now, he’s not blocking traffic, he’s not trying to interact with her at all, he’s no where near her car, but she’s power-playing the pouty stink-eye in what is obviously an attempt by her to intimidate the man for just standing there.
Its so deft, its up there with the “Ref, he fouled me” play acting antics at a HS basketball game or John McEnroe screaming “Aww, c’Mon, Ref” at a tennis tournament.
So, what’s behind This creepy-girl behavior?
I think it is very comparable to what I, as a woman, do when I see a cute cat somewhere.
Is this a thing that actually happens? Does this happen frequently to you?
It’s an art form that most guys don’t know how to do, but it is effective.
By best friend of 25 years is one of those “Nice tits” kind of guys. (That’s not a joke. I’ve literally heard him say that to complete strangers.)
Back in our younger days, we used to spend WAY too much of our time at local neighbor hood bars. These weren’t “pick up” mind you. But just quiet neighborhood bars. The kind where everyone knows your name if you go there enough.
Anyway, the scheme works something like this:
Bad boy (BB) says something crude to unsuspecting female.
Female gets pissed off and tells BB to fuck off.
BB feigns ignorance: “What? what did I do? I paid you a compliment!”
This debate goes back and forth for a while.
BB then gives an academy performance apology . “I’m sho sowwy… I really didn’t mean it that way… Here, let me buy you a drink.”
Girls accepts.
By the end of the night, they are boinking.
I’ve seen it work not once, not twice, but a hundred times at the very least.
The fact is… being crude gets your foot in the door. It gets you noticed and separates you from the rest. What happens from there depends on the skill of the BB. Like I said, most don’t have the silver tonged skill my friend had.
F*** that noise - the drop-off in cat-calling I’ve had over the past two decades has been a RELIEF!
Boy, does it ever…
My guesses are: (1) Resting bitch-face; she wasn’t intentionally giving him the stink-eye but just looked like it; or (2) I’ve heard/read safety advice to women to project a “don’t f*ck with me” attitude while walking, in an effort to prevent trouble before it happens, and the stink-eye was that woman’s interpretation.