What is the most embarrasing way to die.

[xanadu]

On the toilet. (Hey, it happened to my great grandfather!)

[wastelands]

One of the best I’ve read is a hunter (from MI I think) is out with his dog hunting birds. The dog gets stuck in a ditch. The hunter passes the end of the shotgun to the dog to help it free. Problem: The hunter offers the buut end of the gun, and while the dog is scratching to find purchase on it, hits the trigger and kills the man.

[rocking_chair]

drowning in a toilet.

[AuntiePam]

wooly - that story is related anecdotally (is that redundant?) in Dan Simmons’s (is that the right apostrophe placement?) new novel, “Darwin’s Blade.” (Fun book, but no “Hyperion”). (Do I have enough parentheses in here yet?)

The book’s main character is an accident reconstructionist, so the Darwin Award stories fit nicely in the plot. (It’ll make a good movie; lots of action and an excellent car chase.)

Anyway, one of the reviewers said that many of the stories are fabricated. Like that one. Opal? Is that one of the Darwin stories that isn’t true?

As for the OP: I have lots of bridgework, and it had all better be in my mouth when I die. A friend’s mom recently died of cancer, and as she lost more and more weight, she was mortified (bad pun) that her teeth didn’t fit anymore. It bothered her a lot – she didn’t want to die without her teeth.

[Muffin]

*Originally posted by AuntiePam *
**wooly

Anyway, one of the reviewers said that many of the stories are fabricated. Like that one. Opal? Is that one of the Darwin stories that isn’t true?**

The lawyer crashing through a window and falling to his death is true. A very close friend of mine was in that firm at the time.

[Muffin]

*Originally posted by AuntiePam *
**

As for the OP: I have lots of bridgework, and it had all better be in my mouth when I die. A friend’s mom recently died of cancer, and as she lost more and more weight, she was mortified (bad pun) that her teeth didn’t fit anymore. It bothered her a lot – she didn’t want to die without her teeth. **

My dad died with someone else’s teeth in his mouth. They were mistakenly switched on the hospital nightstand. When the nurses returned the teeth to the rightful owner, I don’t know if they informed him of where the teeth had been, or if they simply cleaned them up and let the fellow nknowingly use teeth which had been in a dead guy’s mouth.

[FloChi]

As for auto-asphixiation, I think the most famous ‘victim’ would have to be Michael Hutchence (from the band INXS, he lived the name).

And then there is the legend about Catherine ther great (untrue, Cecil has addressed this) dieing under a horse.

[horowitz]

Another one from the darwin awards.

http://www.DarwinAwards.com/darwin/index_darwin1996.html

[DougC]

• • • Several people have mentioned auto-asphyxiation already.
      ~ On http://www.cruel.com, there used to be a site that Cadenhead had simply titled “What David Died Of” (or whatever the kid’s name was, -I can’t remember, and it isn’t in the archive but only one of the two sites he has per day gets archived). Cadenhead didn’t explain anything about it, other than the text in the link.
      Anyway, the site was about a 12 or 14 yr old boy, regular-looking, and it was clear that it was an obituary site, with pictures and stories from family and friends saying what a great kid he was, and it had stories about places he had enjoyed going to, and activities he enjoyed and all that. If you went to the links page, there was a list of typical intrest links for a kid that age: videogames, sports and other assorted stuff. Near the bottom of the links list was one to something like “AutoErotic Asphyxiation Compulsions and Treatment Centers”.
• It could have been fake; Cadenhead might have removed it because it was fake. It didn’t seem like it though; you really had to look for the link to the autoerotic-asphyxiation center. I went to it twice and looked around and didn’t notice what-n-th-hell he was talking about, until I noticed that nowhere in the site did it mention what little David had died from. Looking carefully, the third time I found it.
• MC

[DougC]

• • • Or maybe you could just choke to death on a chicken head:
      http://www.kgw.com/kgwnews/nationworld_story.html?StoryID=9881
• MC

[AuntiePam]

muffin - your dad’s teeth (most likely) wouldn’t fit someone else. I wonder what the hospital staff told him, when he checked back to see who had his teeth?

I believe the lawyer falling out the window story, but I have my doubts about the guys with the truck at the rock concert.

When I was living in Seattle, there was a spectacular accident involving a man who drove his car through the wall of a downtown parking garage – six or seven stories up. The car landed on a car sitting at a stop light – at least three people died.

[DougC]

• • • Okay, I got it:
      ~
      ~
      http://members.tripod.com/billykay/
      ~
      ~
• Go to the links page and click on the link titled “AEA”.
  Cadenhead said he corresponded with the kid’s father before putting the site on Cruel.com, and it is definitely real. - MC

[zyzzyva]

A few years ago, some of my friends got in the habit of writing their own obituaries. This is one my friend wrote. Not a true story, but pretty funny nonetheless.

The still-smoking body of Melissa Hynes, known to the Internet community as Takhisis, was found early this morning collapsed over her computer. Autopsy results are forthcoming, but the current statement by police reveals that Ms. Hynes was suffering from advanced stages of Internet addiction.

“This is a very sad, sick thing to have to see,” stated one of the officers. “Cases like this take years to develop, but society is too focused on minor problems like crack and violence in cartoons to notice young people like this wasting away before their eyes.” Preliminary forensic reports speculate that the cause of death was electrocution. “In extreme addictions, the victim will have severe withdrawal symptoms, what we call ‘Net Fits’. Like an epileptic seizure, the victim will twitch and rage out of control until the Internet connection is restored. From what we can see, Ms. Hynes’ modem dropped carrier approximately 10:15 PM. Wild and uncontrollable flailing of the arms toppled over a nearby can of soda onto the computer equipment, causing sparks and the beginnings of a fire. The victim, blind to the “real world” around her, placed her hands back on the keyboard in hopes of a new connection or “fix”, and you can see the result.”

Ms. Hynes’ death, although classified as “misadventure” by the authorities, is the most recent in a bizzarre and coincidental string of deaths striking the community of an online group known as #alt.vampyres. For a related story, click here.

Ms. Hynes is survived by her parents, three aunts, four uncles, five cousins, four grandparents, one swain, a large group of friends who want their money back, and two very irritated cats.