What is the most ridiculous way you've ever injured yourself?

[brewha]

We did one of these a year ago. Luckily, I don’t have a new one to add, but I’ll repost my previous:

@brewha

I was walking through my oddly shaped kitchen in the house I was renting at the time. In the middle of the kitchen, there is a post and a kind of archway that goes from that post to the wall. I was going to go through that archway, when I saw a bicycle pump laying on the floor underneath the archway.

I could have stepped over it. I could have picked it up and put it away. Instead I decided to jump over it. Here’s the problem. I’m about 6’5". I can dunk which means that I can jump at least 2’ in the air (not that impressive of a vertical leap, but bear with me). The archway (which I measured after the fact) is a shade under 6’7".

I didn’t just jump, for some reason I put my all into it and jumped as high as I could. I don’t know what the upward force is for a person to jump 24" in the air, but not much of that force is dissapated in the first 2".

I woke up on the ground. The bicycle pump was under my left arm and badly mangled. I noticed a pool of blood forming on the floor. I was quite dazed. I felt my head and found a rather large cut and lots of blood. I had managed to inverted pile drive myself into the bottom of the archway.

I really should have gone to the doctor, but as I was in college and didn’t have health insurance, and I got the bleeding to stop right away, I didn’t go.

I do have a nice scar on the top of my head now, but it is not the type of injury you brag to your friends about.