That is an amazing image… can’t help but laugh at that!
My daily affirmation…
My hindsight says,“I shoulda’ bought the fucking extended econo van”. :rolleyes:
“If you don’t get your crabby-ass out of this bed and curl your God damned hair, then I’m gonna do it for you!”
Yes, I said that outloud to myself and my husband overheard. (I thought he was in the basement.) He nearly wet his pants laughing.
I’m quitting my job and going into business as a motivational speaker. It worked. I got out of bed and my hair has been nice and shiny and curly all day!
I was telling my daughter about that lady who was a news anchor some years ago, who had deformed ‘lobster hands’, and she had artificial hand covers made to wear on TV. But then she decided they were too lifeless and distracting, so she decided to do the news with her real hands. I said, “this woman said, the hell with it, I’m showing my creepy lobster hands on TV”. My daughter said, “mom, in the history of human speech, has that combination of words ever been spoken aloud before?”
On my walk today, I found several crumpled-up greenbacks lying on the ground. As I bent down to pick them up, I said to myself, “Hey, that’s three dollars off my next purchase!”
I was crossing the street and a car nearly hit me. A taxicab, of course. And I heard myself saying, hey, it wouldn’t realy be so bad. Either you’d be dead, or you’d get a few days in the hospital out of it.
I’m not really suicidal. And that spoken thought really surprised the hell out of me. Things are a bit tough right now (wife lost her job, mortgage, health problems not covered by insurance). I think I was just venting a bit.
“Hey, you don’t lick your privates and then lick my toes. It’s unheard of!”
OK, I said it to the dog but since no one is around and he doesn’t understand, I might as well have said it to myself.
In the same vein I loudly accused my dog of being a “pupulist” because she seems to get along with every dog she meets.
Infortunately I then bent down to tell her so more closely and ended up saying "You’re a pumiphfis!"since she then chose to poke her tongue up my nose, curly-style.
My 3.5 year old was looking for her pretend cell phone, she asked me to help her look and I started to say “Why don’t you call it?”
"View halloo? Faith and begora, 'tis them redcoats again! "
Googling “Faith and begora” comes up with an odd link for an “Amish Porn” (totally SFW) site.