Have you ever noticed when you tell someone you’re about to go to New Orleans they frequently say:
Ooh, ooh! There’s one place you have to go for [substance], it’s [name of place that sells retail substances], they have the best [specific variant of retail substance] you’ve ever [consumed the retail substance].
I have a stack of 'em, but I’m sure I’m still missing many One Things to do in New Orleans. So, I ask of you, fellow Dopers:
** What is the One Thing to do in New Orleans?**
Pat O’s for the Hurricanes.
Cafe du Monde for the beignets and coffee.
I don’t know if it’s still there, but The Neutral Ground was the coolest coffeehouse I’d ever been to when I lived there.
Definitely.
Aye.
Also Checkpoint Charlie’s for a live local band, cheap beer, good burgers, pool, and maybe a bit of old video game playing and laundry.
Brunch at the Court of the Two Sisters - a must! But be sure to make reservations…
If you like brunch, you should go to The Court of the Two Sisters.
My best friend’s ex-g/f worked at “The Famous Historical Court of Two Sisters”. I never went there. One Mardi Gras we made a sign and put it up over their sign. It said “Lamest Hysterical Court of Two Sisters”.
Have a po’ boy at Mother’s on Tchopitoulis Street (I know I murdered the spelling, but you get the idea). Fantastic food. And I third the suggestion about Cafe Du Monde. Try to sit where you can watch the action on Jackson Square.
On a warm spring morning, sit near the outside. Catch the breeze off the river, listen to the music, and watch the people passing by.
Kaldi’s is across the street. It has shutters that open to the street, and you’re a couple meters up. It’s nice to drink your coffee, read a paper, and watch the people pass below you. Kaldi’s seems to cater to a more “alternative” crowd, which is a nice change from the more touristy Café du Monde.
If you only go to one, go to Café du Monde; but try to do both for the comparison.
While you’re in The Crescent City, eat a muffuletta. You can get them hot or cold, but I prefer hot because the flavours blend together nicely. Wash it down with a Dixie beer. A muffuletta is a sandwich made on a round Italian loaf. It should have capicollo, Genoa salami, ham, and provolone cheese, but those aren’t quite as critical as the muffuletta salad that also goes into it. This is Kalamata olives, pimiento-stuffed green olives, cauliflower, carrot, celery, garlic, parsley, oregano, olive oil and red wine vinegar. (You can get muffuletta salad in a jar at Trader Joe’s, but it’s not as good as The Real Deal.)
Oh. And Oyster po’ boys. Mmmmm!
What’s that place? The Praline Connection? Something like that. Good Southern food, and lots of praline desserts.
Just outside of the French Quarter is an old cemetary. I don’t remember the name. “Jackson Cemetary No. 1”? I don’t remember. Anyway, the tomb of Marie Laveau is there. Leave an offering of tobacco, rum, money, etc. and make three Xs on the tomb. It is said that your wish will be granted.
Marie Laveau’s Voodoo Museum is on Bourbon St. It’s a fun little place to see, but I like The Voodoo Museum (on duMaine?).
The Clover Grill is, I think, on Bourbon and du Maine. It sells good American food. They cook their burgers under hubcaps. Try a cheeseburger with a side of hashbrowns. The staff (and many of the diners) are rather flambouyant and fun to watch.
If you want to go to one of the best restaurants in the United States go to Commander’s palace. If you want a lot of history have diner at Antoine’s
You might try the nighttime haunted walk, where you visit a few of the haunted buildings in the French quarter. Try to get Cat as a guide she is great.
Anne Rice’s shop is really cool, if you’re a fan. Lots of “special” merchandise. They were selling the monitor that she wrote “Mnemnoch The Devil” on when d_redguy and I were there. We would’ve bought it, but someone had already placed it on hold. They also have a bunch of weird dolls and other creatures designed by her. Some of them are after the characters in her books.
Anyhow, the place is in The Garden District. It’s in an upscale shopping center called The Rink. Definitely worth checking out.
I second Cafe Dumond. We were there every day, sometimes twice. 
The Acme Oyster House is a great place for traditional New Orleans grub. We had our wedding reception there in December.
A place called Port of Call has the best burger I’ve ever had, and a drink called the Monsoon that kicks the Hurricane’s ass. (Don’t have more than one if you need to sustain verticality.)
Snug Harbor on Frenchman Street and the Funky Butt on Rampart are the best places for jazz.
Dr. J
And don’t forget LaFitte’s Blacksmith Shop. It’s the oldest (or at least one of the oldest) buildings in town. No, it’s no longer a blacksmith’s shop.
I didn’t have a Hurricane until my fifth trip to The Big Easy. IMO they’re overrated. To sweet.
Beignets. Don’t miss the beignets.
It’s “Tchoupitoulas.” I did look it up to recheck my spelling. But I got it right on my own! Now if I could spell the name of the town where my brother’s at school…
Be warned that the staff at Mother’s is VERY RUDE. Know what you want to order before you get to the counter. But it’s GREAT stuff. It’s odd, how they’re like that when this is such a friendly town. Oh well. New Orleans is its own planet sometimes.
You need to stop by the Camellia Grill and have one of their waffles. Best damn late night/drunk food I’ve ever had. Actually, pretty good food over all.
For the best New Orleans jazz do not miss Preservation Hall! As soon as you are in the door, head for the mat on the floor in front. The musicians will be almost within reach and the music becomes other worldly. It’s a natural high.
I haven’t been to Court of Two Sisters in thirty years but it is memorable. I think it is the movie Hopscotch that has a scene with Glenda Jackson and Walter Matthau filmed there.
The Latin Quarter is all about attitude. You have to get a little funky to enjoy the atmosphere.
Second on the Praline Connection. Great food and a good atmosphere as well.
I forget where it is, but there’s a Po’ Boy restaurant at which they serve something like 40 kinds of Po’ Boy’s, and not much else. Good stuff.
We couldn’t get into Preservation Hall - the line was blocks long.
BUT, I really enjoyed The Maison Bourbon Jazz Club - 641 Bourbon St. Wonderful music, CDs available of the bands, great, relaxed atmosphere. Easily the best jazz we heard in the French Quarter.
If blues is more your style, try the Funky Pirate about 2 blocks further into the Quarter, still on Bourbon St.