I have no stats on this. If you do I would like to know
Regarding men against males being attractive:
Quick Gay guy story - when I lived in LA, a really nice guy I worked with knew every drop-dead gorgeous man in Southern California - and I am serious - he had porno stars and Armani models show up for lunch dates (the guy was only so-so looking, so we all had to assume he was hung like the proverbial horse to have these men showing up to have lunch with him). There was even a rather popular movie star - but I digress.
One of his beaus was a guy from Indiana who had moved to California to become a model. Within months the guy was doing ads for major fashion designers and I even saw posters of him for sale at a local card shop! Despite being gorgeous, the guy was also very intelligent and after less than a year, earning easily in the six figures - he moved back to Indiana to go back to work in the family business.
Why?
He couldn’t take the pressure of other guys sizing him up, comparing themselves and the petty, catty comments. He said he felt like a piece of meat and hardly anybody ever talked to him as a person. He had never felt so lonely and isolate in his life - all because he was a pretty boy among other pretty boys. In Indiana, he had friends and they all liked him because he was funny, intelligent and they had known him his entire life. (I am sure the fact that he was gorgeous had something to do with it as well…but at least it wasn’t the sole reason he was popular back there.)
I never said I was a loser, you said that. I simply accept the way I look and in that acceptance, feel no need to constantly compare myself to others. Most likely makes me a lot more positive that you are prepared to give credit for.
msmith357 writes:
> I have not noticed a correlation between getting married/having kids and
> attractiveness. I know plenty of attractive women who are perpetually single
> because they are a) bitches b) crazy or c) interested only in dating douchbag
> guys. I also know plenty of ugly couples who have found happiness. It’s like
> this one girl I know who thinks she was happier and met more guys when she
> was fat. She wasn’t and she didn’t. The only difference was when a guy
> dumped her, she can blame it one being fat. Now it’s because they just didn’t
> like her.
In what I say below, I am only talking about my own experience: My experience is quite different than yours. I don’t know any attractive men or women who are (son-of-a-)bitches, crazy, or interested only in dating douchebags who remain perpetually single. I do know of people like that who, on the contrary, have been married, often several times. They have no problem getting people to date them and even marry them. They often just can’t make a relationship work. Some of them do have children.
I do know lots of people who I suspect would like to get married and have kids but who can’t find anyone interested in them. I suppose that these people are less attractive than average, but none of them is hideously ugly. I suppose that they aren’t very good at throwing themselves at every available person of the opposite sex. In other words, they’re not the obnoxious sort who’s constantly on the make. Perhaps these people are shy, but they’re not loners with no friends. They’re moderately outgoing people who just can’t find anyone willing to marry them.
Nah. Men hate other men because they get more nookie.
Without having to do the hard work that makes them deserving.
I’m not talking about you specifically. I’m talking about people who are negative about themselves in general.
And no, it does not make you positive. Just passive or fatalistic.
DMark - I think gay dudes are a bit different from straight dudes when it comes to how they view attractivness in other men.
Wendell Wagner - My point is that there are plenty of ugly married people and plenty of attractive single people. I don’t believe being attractive makes you necessarily more marriable. You can find dates easier, but then you also tend to date people who can also find dates easier.
Evolutionarily, we are programmed to prefer healthy-looking mates. The things we associate with “attractiveness” are indicators of health and fertility: symmetrical features, clear skin, obvious sexual development, and so on. It makes sense: Those who chose healthy fertile partners are obviously going to have more offspring, and probably more healthy offspring.
IMHO it is theoretically possible for *any * woman to find a man to at least attempt to impregnate her if she has *low * enough standards. I know a number of women who’d have liked to have a child, but could not find and attract a person deemed good enough for the purpose.
How did they compare “success” with “good-looking?” There may be correlating factors apart from sheer genetic bounty.
A man or woman who is slim and in shape, these days, usually has the dedication and willpower to be so: they have the fortitude to lay off the sweets, the commitment to exercise and/or work out, and the drive to make themselves look good because that’s what they want to achieve. It’s no wonder some of those people may also apply that determination to having a good career.
People who are slender and in shape who don’t have drive and dedication are probably a) young, b) suffering from tapeworms, c) addicted to some narcotic, or d) space mutant aliens.
I’d rather see wages tied to the number of hours a person dedicates to exercise and workout, really.
Do you actually have statistics to back up your claims, other than those you are simply making up on the spot?
DSYoungEsq writes:
> Do you actually have statistics to back up your claims, other than those you are
> simply making up on the spot?
The only thing that I claimed to be based on statistics was this:
> 15% to 20% of all people never have children.
The other observations I made are, as I wrote, only based on my own experience. I gave the statistics about the number of people who never have children because blinkingblinking wrote:
> Almost everyone gets the chance to have kids.
I’m not sure what that means. If it only means that nearly everyone could, if they had “settled” for marrying and having kids with someone that they didn’t really want to, perhaps that’s true, but I don’t know if even that is true. If it means that nearly everyone eventually has kids, it’s wrong, and you can easily look up the statistics to see that it’s wrong.
As for the things that are merely my own observations, I personally don’t know a lot of homely but nice people who get married and have kids. In my own observations, these people often never get married and never have kids. In my own obsevations, attractive but jerky people do get married and have kids, although the relationships often don’t last. In my observations, being attractive is more important for getting married and having kids than being a nice person.
I wonder if you’re ignoring an important factor: some people aren’t interested in having children.
There could be relationship there: if you don’t have the desire for children pushing you towards finding a mate to breed them with, mightn’t that mean less interest in making yourself as attractive as possible? And so you might not hit the gym as much, and you eat that extra brownie, and you spend your money on other toys instead of fabulous clothes, and you don’t bother as much with makeup let alone having that bump on your nose fixed or your boobs enlarged…
IOW, perhaps cause and effect go the other way sometimes. The unattractive childless woman is not childless because she’s unattractive, but unattractive because she doesn’t want children?