What is the single greatest line in television history? {Please include context & Episode of the Series}

If you want context, you really have to watch the entire episode. Here it is in a nutshell, along with the full quote:

Trent is (almost) the only one left alive on an Earth that has been invaded by the alien Kyben. Everyone else has vanished, and nobody knows where or how, including Trent, who has big gaps in his memory. He is guided by a glass hand that has been grafted onto his arm, which talks to him – its a computer, but it can’t tell him the answer, because it’s missing critical data storage, which is kept in the three fingers missing from the hand. As Trent recaptures the memory lobes friom the Kyben, one by one, he learns more (the lobes/fingers plug in like USB sticks). The humans have stored their memories and body information and can be reconstituted later. They set off a series of “dirty” bombs to make the Earth dangerously radioactive for a thousand years. After the Kyben die off or leave, they can be reconstituted. Trent and a woman he comes across fight off the Kyben and succeed in killing them off and preventing others from coming, and in doing so gain the last memory lobe. Trent asks the Hand where the peopl of Earth are. They’re in a wire stored inside his body. Trent is actually a robot, and was unaware of this. The woman recoils in horror, as Trent realizes that he will be alone fo a long time.

  • Control Voice: [closing narration] Like the eternal man of Babylonian legend, like Gilgamesh, one thousand plus two hundred years stretches before Trent. Without love, without friendship, alone, neither man nor machine, waiting, waiting for the day he will be called to free the humans who gave him mobility, movement, but not life.

I think it is more a spoof from Laces II, where Lili asks three men, “Which one of you bastards is my father?”.
Yes, I watched both.

They’re not alone in this thread admittedly.

I don’t know about greatest, but I have favorites.

My first: Homer Simpson is desperately trying to locate a certain instant breakfast, drink, favorite of astronauts, and manages somehow to call Bill Clinton. “I figured if anyone would know how to get some Tang, it would be you!”

My second: Ross and Rachel are getting hot and heavy in the planetarium, and suddenly Rachel glances down and says “oh, honey, that’s okay.” But he’s only rolled over a juice box.

“Now, this is all the money Niska gave us…”

Yes, sorry - one really needs to see the entire episode. It’s really a long setup for that one line.

That is a classic indeed.

I am sure there are many bits of dialogue from loads of shows I could say are utterly brilliant, but the first one I thought of was this: -

“Believe me, Baldrick, eternity in the company of Beelzebub, and all his hellish instruments of death, will be a picnic compared to five minutes with me… and this pencil…”

I’ve never heard of Lace II, so I wouldn’t know.

Another favorite is from The Simpsons:

Homer’s Doppelganger: Homer? I am not Homer. I am Guy Incognito. (Spoken with a “Continental” accent.)

One more needs a bit of context: Rocky and Bullwinkle were trapped in an elevator that was blown sky-high out of its shaft and landed safely in a river.
As they float along:

Bullwinkle: I never thought it would be like this!

Rocky: What?

Bullwinkle: Heaven!

Rocky: Bullwinkle, this isn’t Heaven.

Bullwinkle: It isn’t?

Rocky: No!

Bullwinkle: (Shivering) Then why is it so cold? :cold_face:

“As God is my witness I thought Turkeys could fly!” Was the first thing I thought of, too.

Second thing is also from WKRP: Jennifer is trying to explain to Les that his date from the “escort service” is a hooker.

Jennifer: “Les, Lorrraine is a member of the world’s oldest profession.”

Les: “You mean Lorraine’s a farmer?”

Similarly, from the Simpsons episode “Homer’s Phobia,” where Marge is trying to gently break it to Homer that their new friend John is gay:

MARGE: He enjoys the company of men.

HOMER: Who doesn’t?

This. I laughed so hard I was coughing and had tears running down my face.

Another good one: “Pivot! Pivot!” Ross from ‘Friends’.

Maybe he hit the wrong “Reply” button.

Mike Ehrmantraut to Walter White. Season 5, episode 7 of Breaking Bad

SNL: Chevy Chase on the phone on the set of Weekend Update:

No, you don’t blow on it, that’s just an expression.

“Describe the sound made when a sheep explodes.”

That was a magnificent Karnak moment!

“We have to go back Kate”!"

-Jack from Lost

reveals that the what we thought was a flashback was actually a flash forward, total WTF moment that was such a great cliff hanger in a great show.

“Have I displeased you, you feckless thug?”

President Bartlett, speaking to God, The West Wing.

A couple from Johnny Carson:

When Jay Silverheels appeared on the show:
HR agent: “Reason for leaving previous employer?”
Tonto: “Him find out what ‘kemo sabe’ mean.”

When Ed Ames appeared on the show, he was playing a Native American character on Daniel Boone. Ames mentioned that he had to learn tomahawk-throwing for the role, and Johnny brought out a tomahawk and a human-shaped target. Ames threw the hatchet . . . . and struck the target in the groin. Johnny said, “I didn’t know you were Jewish!”

Another from Seinfeld (“The Marine Biologist”)

The sea was angry that day, my friends - like an old man trying to send back soup in a deli. I got about fifty feet out and suddenly, the great beast appeared before me. I tell you, he was ten stories high if he was a foot. As if sensing my presence, he let out a great bellow. I said, “Easy, big fella!” And then, as I watched him struggling, I realized that something was obstructing its breathing. From where I was standing, I could see directly into the eye of the great fish

Mammal.