What Is The STUPIDEST Fight You've Had With Your Significant Other?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
81

Heh, you folks got nothing.

Let’s just say that when The Crazy is involved, the Stupid Meter goes to 13.

And shiftless? Get out. Now. The ambush berzerk crying screaming jag over some random look on my face or tone in my voice was the absolute worst thing I’ve ever experienced. It’s paranoid dementia on the other person’s part that makes YOU paranoid and fearful. Please don’t spend the rest of your life walking on eggshells, living in fear of the next time some random look or tone will set off The Crazy. Walk away.

82

In all fairness, you don’t know that we haven’t held back. C’mon…Throw down!!

83

So throw down. I’ve posted my stories here before. I can do it again if I have to, but pony up first.

84

Hey…we signed up for stupid arguments. The really crazy shit is a whole 'nuther bucket of drama.

85

My then wife arguing that I need to go down to the bank and yell at them for “stealing” her money when she’s overdrafted her bank account six months in a row, the amount missing is exactly equal to her usual withdrawal, she won’t produce her statements and my name is NOT on the account is crazy stupid.

Using this as an excuse to then argue that we should put her name on my account - the one with all the real money on it - is beyond crazy stupid.

Gotten the “I dreamt you did bad things so I won’t talk to you today” thing. Not just cheating. “I” was mean to her in her dream. So silent treatment for the day.

She blew through a red light. Passed inches behind one car and another flew through after us. When I inhaled in fear, she physically turned sideways in her seat to yell at me and argue that I was only making noises to hurt her feelings. Refused to accept that she had, in fact, blown through a light at 45mph and nearly gotten us killed. Blew through the next light while facing and yelling at me. Refused to ever believe that she had run a light that day, let alone two. Nope, I was just trying to be mean to her by saying so.

Like **shiftless[/], constantly got the “that look on your face” or “that tone in your voice”, which pretty much was an excuse to argue something completely irrational.

Refused to allow me to use our one bathroom for over an hour while she was in there, slammed the door in my face three times. Then initiated a fist pumping, closed eyes, full volume scream fest claiming that I was trying to start a fight because I didn’t want to go to the neighbor’s party. The one I had repeatedly asked to be allowed to use the bathroom for so we could finish getting ready and walk over.

Wrapped a glass figurine in a dish towel and set it on the floor right in the doorway while we were in the process of moving furniture with the help of friends. Perfect excuse to go apeshit when the damned thing got broken because I saw this random dish towel on the floor and decided to move it before someone slipped on it.

Then decided that she needed to park herself partially blocking the front door and slowly clean off a bookcase there rather than just move and pack up the damned thing. Perfect excuse to become upset when people asked her to move so that we could, you know, actually get the large pieces of furniture out of the house.

We’re in bumper to bumper traffic moving nearly 60, headed for the offramp when some clown 6 cars up decides to slam on the brakes. I’m literally standing on the brakes, going “ohshitohshitohshit”, expecting that we will hit the car in front of us, then be hit from behind, or the other way around, then possibly be hit by this blind moron in a gold Lexus who is looking off to his right while talking on his cellphone and merging left into us. She starts wailing and flailing, screaming that I’m “road raging”. No, you stupid cunt, I was in fear for our lives! I thought we were going to be in a massive pileup and be hurt or killed! She spent the entire fucking day refusing to believe that any such event had happened, despite being right there, and insisted that I had simply been road raging and now she had cause to fear for her own safety.

Crazy Stupid.

86

Hey, we’ve already had the thread about how you can die if you don’t load the dishwasher correctly.

My submission is not my own, but my husband apparently pushed his previous girlfriend out of a moving car during a fight about which was the greatest ocean: Atlantic or Pacific. Mind you, this was not greatest: “widest” “deepest” “most volume” or anything else measurable. It was just greatest in a most awesome, coolest, most radical sort of way. I didn’t find out until after I married him that she actually suffered for real injuries from this.

And yes, we have had arguments about the dishwasher.

87

“Which way is southeast?”

An argument that eventually led me to buy my fiance a Magellan for her birth day.

Best $250 I ever spent.

And about her dreams where I cheated on her…been there.

88

Ouch. I’ll take my **Walmart Trashbag Tango with the Dark Side **any day!

89

Hey! I may have contributed to that thread! My friend lives with her brother. He’s a little cuckoo (actually a LOT cuckoo) and would leave her notes. They’d say things like “an aggregious attempt on my life for loading the knives pointy side up” and that sort of thing.

So I started thinking…I could trip over a cat and fall onto the open dishwasher, blah blah blah and started loading them pointy side down.

Mr. K then said that pointy side down might damage the countertop when he takes the basket out to unload the silverware into the drawer, because the pointy ends poke through the basket and actually make contact with the countertop (nevermind that I cut sammiches and stuff directly on the counter).

Damned if you do, damned if you don’t.

90

According to Snopes it really doesn’t happen. Not often, mind you, but happens.

91

I’m really not all that worried about it, but I thought what the heck…it’s not all that hard to avoid the dishwasher impalement. I generally load the basket both ways on each load. I really don’t consider it an imminent threat.:slight_smile:

92

OH where to start? Hmmmm… well there was the time she started screaming at me in my sleep because I was, well, asleep and she wasn’t. Even going in the other room didn’t help, she’d go in there to yell at me HOW DARE I SLEEP WHEN SHE CANNOT??

The “you cheated on me in my dreams and now I’m pissed at you” happened all the time.

We ended up getting divorced because of an argument over Lunchables.

I’ve repressed the rest.

93

Wow. I don’t usually ‘re’ quote entire posts. But wow.

My Wife and I have been married 12 years and have had one argument. I was drunk, and misunderstood her.

Speaking of crazy stupid, my brother has an attraction to that type of woman.

He and she where visiting once and stayed over night. We where going to an outdoor event in the winter in the mountains the next morning.

This gal locked herself in the bathroom to put on makeup. She got mad because we did not server her breakfast. Serve her breakfast in the bathroom. She didn’t ask, she just expected it. What was weird is she did not seem to be a high maintenance person. She was on a search and rescue team with my brother and I.

:shrug:

Okaaaayyy…… I’m a good host, but if you want breakfast, you are going to need to come out of the damn bathroom.

94

My ex-wife would deliberately move herself into danger and then act like she’s the victim and people are being mean to her.

We were in a greenhouse/plant store. A very, and I mean VERY pregnant woman was coming down the aisle with an equally full shopping cart that must’ve weighed a ton - lots of potting soil and stuff. My ex-wife stood out of the way until the woman got right up to her, then leapt right out in front of that heavy cart. The pregnant woman was able to stop her cart only with a lot of effort, which seemed to injure her (she bent over holding her belly and looking pained).

When the pregnant woman and her friend yelled at my wife, my wife did her usual “I was just trying to get out of your way!” Psycho LIE and pouted about how everyone was being mean to her. As I said “You were not IN the way until you jumped out in front of her. Don’t give us this shit about how you were trying to get out of her way. You did that on purpose and you know it.” Of course, this made me the Villain du Jour.

She did the same thing in the kitchen one day when I was handling a bunch of knives. Turned and looked, then backed up toward them at a very high rate of speed. Fortunately, I knew from experience to get the knives out of her way in a big hurry. Then I got the usual “I was trying to get out of your way” bullshit and an afternoon of sulking because I was being mean to her. :rolleyes:

No, you psycho bitch, jumping in front of danger is not “trying to get out of the way”. It’s deliberately trying to hurt yourself or others and it’s INSANE. Playing the victim afterward is likewise insane, and blaming others for being upset is hurtful and damaging.

95

Dude, I hope this was a short marriage. Seriously.

96

Yup, but hey, I came back to apologize for the slight hijack. These things are crazy, and that makes them stupid.

But yeah, love the “we argued about which direction was North/what color was the sky” stories. Nice, simple non-insane stupid silly fights.

97

I’m sorry, I can’t resist the obvious;

That sucks.

98

I have a very pronounced Texas twang, plus some sinus problems. And I’m deaf in one ear and I am not always conscious of my voice’s volume. I get the “tone of voice” thing almost every damn day. I would have thought, after thirteen years, she would realized that my tone of voice doesn’t mean a damn thing----the tone of my voice varies.

The silliest argument we’ve ever had involved the steering wheel on our car. She maintained that she could turn the wheel easily with the key removed from the switch while I know damn well it can’t be done—at least not without breaking the switch lock.
When the issue was proven, in my favor, obviously, I got the classic female reply: Whatever.

99

AHAHAHAHAHA!

Well at least you were done fighting about it. :smiley:

100

There’s also the ever entertaining :

  • Why are you sad ?
  • I’m not sad. It’s nothing.
  • Of course you’re sad, it’s all over your eyes/face/body language. Let me know what I can do
  • I told you, it’s nothing
  • Was it something I did ?
  • No
  • Then what is it ?
  • Nothing
  • But there is something, and it makes *me *sad. I really want to help
  • YOU CAN’T HELP, IT’S NOTHING IMPORTANT. Will you leave me alone ?!
  • Jesus Christ ! I want to help and you yell at me ? Fuck you then !
  • Fuck me ?! COME BACK HERE !
    (cue blazing row)

As for me, I think the most memorable fight I ever had was when a girlfriend and I stood each other up. That is, we both went to the rendez vous place, both in advance, except she went to our usual one, and I went to where we’d actually agreed to meet the day before.
We both waited on each other for four or five hours in the rain. Then both went home fuming. And met each other by pure random luck in the subway. Yeah, that went well.