What Is The STUPIDEST Fight You've Had With Your Significant Other?

Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share
101

Stupidest fight with ex-husband- we were at a local Mexican joint with a bunch of friends, eating nachos and drinking margaritas. I had the pitcher at one point, and the guy next to me had an empty glass. I offered to refill his glass, then turned to my then-husband, who still had 3/4 glass or margarita, and offered to top his off. As soon as we left the restaurant, he started screaming at me for refilling the other guy’s glass before his- he continued yelling at me about it after we got home 'til we went to bed.

Stupidest fight with current husband- in the grocery store, over chicken. Whenever I roast a whole chicken, my husband never eats any of the dark meat. I’ve never seen him eat dark meat. So one day while we were grocery shopping, he picks up a package of chicken legs and thighs and puts them in the cart.
Me: Why are you getting those?
Him: I thought they’d be good on the grill.
Me: I’ve never seen you eat dark meat. Will you eat them if I get them?
Him: Of course I will! Why do you have to talk to me like I’m 5 years old??!!

At this point he stomps off and waits in the car 'til I’m finished shopping. In a passive-aggressive fit of revenge, I didn’t get anything of the items on the grocery list that were his.

The legs and thighs were excellent. He’s never asked for or eaten dark meat since. Weirdo.

102

I am so glad that I’m not the only one that gets this. Though you’d think by now I’d learn to shut my mouth after the first “Are you mad/sad/unhappy/murderous” question. I think I will have to try the next time it comes up.

103

Doesn’t always work. He/she may well get angry because you’re *not *pushing enough. And if you consciously avoid saying anything, he/she will get you on a count of “you don’t even see me anymore !”. Some days, you just can’t win :stuck_out_tongue:

104

I just had it today. She said something that just absolutely set me off while we were eating lunch today and I made a total ass of myself.

105

Yeah, its a bitch pushing crunchy bacon and pancakes through that peephole you know :slight_smile:

106

I’m so out of it sometimes. Just spent a good 4 minutes trying to figure out if you meant British spelling in general or spelling like someone from the actual Tori Party of Britain.

107

Whether or not we had to skip the movie we were about to go to see (that friends were picking us up for) so he could wait for his Chinese food to be delivered – which was already 1.5 hours late. He was worried that if we left they would arrive and expect payment! I told him to leave a note if it mattered, but apparently that would not do.

He hadn’t called about the food’s lateness until it was almost an hour late (and this only after I had been suggesting he call for a half hour or so).

We went to the movie, he sulked the whole way there, didn’t even say hello to our friends. By the end of the movie I think he knew he was being ridiculous but I never did get a satisfactory explanation of what was so fucking important about that Chinese food.

108

I heard a story, possibly apocryphal but still enlightening, about a couples therapist. In one particularly daunting session, the session meandered into the couple’s argument about which toothpaste brand to get. The therapist had to calmly explain to them that being a couple didn’t mean that you have to do absolutely everything together. The obvious solution, which the couple couldn’t come up with themselves, was to simply each have their own tube of toothpaste.

109

fast food joints do it after… mom and pop joints do it on the grill… I won… lol

110

Whether purple has any significance to the season of Advent.

It’s not just a ridiculous thing to argue about, it’s a ridiculous and irredeemably geeky thing to argue about. And I was right and it DOES, dammit.

111

Well it wasn’t with my SO but with my BFF who I sometimes think of myself as being married to lol. But we had a nearly friendship ending fight over the meaning of a sentence in a historical text.

112

Hard to pick a stupidest fight, as we’ve had plenty of those, but two for contention for the stupidest endings of fights:

  1. It was one of those “what’s wrong?” “Why are you angry?” “How come you’re in a bad mood?” type fights, where I wasn’t angry or in a bad mood at all, but was quickly getting there with the questioning. Finally, I screamed at her “Will you just leave me the fuck alone!” She stared at me for a moment, then started bawling and hugged me. “Thank you for finally yelling at me,” she choked out between sobs.

  2. I don’t remember the fight at all, but it was a running one as we went about our daily tasks. She had just gone into the kitchen and was coming back out when I made a rather snide comment and she whirled around and smacked me with whatever it was that she had gotten. I stared down at the package of string cheese in her hands, then up at her in complete and total incredulity. “You hit me with cheese!” It took about 2 seconds of silence, then we both burst out laughing.

113

For some reason your post sparked a memory of a fight I had with the ex. He was getting ready to go out (again) and spend our last $5 (again) and I was bitching him up and down about it. He had just gotten out of the shower and dried his hair “just so” so he could go out on the prowl. He was taking a swig out of the GIANT V-8 can and I threw a particularly cutting verbal dagger. He went to throw the can of V-8 (presumably at me!) and he sort of lost his grip and the can poured out over his head. He had to go back and take another shower, re-dry is hair, change his clothes, etc. I had to wait til he was in the shower before I burst out laughing.

Sadly, neither rain, nor sleet, nor shower of V-8 could keep him from his mission of floozing around.

114

Ex’s insisting that he was the one to come up with the word “doofus” in highschool.

115

I’m laughing so hard I’m crying at this.

116

Early in the years of our marriage, Mr. Ujest was watching me wash the floor and offered suggestions on how to do it better.

This, as you can imagine, goes over real well.

" The best way to get the floor really clean is to use two buckets. One for clean water and one for dirty water. That’s how Mom does it." Insert sparkly rainbows and glorious sunshine around the italicized word, m’kay, thanks.

“Uh huh…” I let it go in one ear and out the other.

“You really need to get down on the floor on your hands and knees to do it right.”

“Uh huh.” Happy with my one bucket and spongy mop thing on a stick process. Noting that in the one or two or three years since we’ve been married he has washed the floor exactly ZERO times.

He blathers on and I ignore him. Finally, after a year or so of this helpful advice I say to him in a slightly vaccuuous voice, " I don’t completely understand this two bucket thingy…"

He fell for the bait, gets another bucket and merrily gets down on his hands and knees to show me the Truest And Bestest WAY to wash the Holy and Sacred Kitchen floor amen. As he is happily getting into this task, I grab my purse and car keys and silently slip out the back door and go shopping for a couple of hours.

When I came back in later, the look on his face was priceless. " That wasn’t funny."

Heh.

117

Well, it wasn’t with an SO but an ex-girlfriend, but the second stupidest fight I’ve had in my life was basically over whether I was a good person or not. You might not think that’s a particularly unusual argument to have with an ex, except that I was the one arguing that I wasn’t a good person. I “won” the argument by saying cruel enough things to her that she didn’t speak to me for 5 months.
I think that it goes without saying that I had underlying issues that led to me blowing up on her.

118

Very well done, Shirley.

My ex also had opinions about things he never did, like load the dishwasher, sweep the floor, and carry and deliver a baby.

119

To be fair, 600,000 people died over that one.

120

The most memorable stupid fight my SO and I had degenerated into an actual wrestling match - a brawling, WWF-style smackdown, full of sound and fury (and signifying nothing).

My partner, being the youngest of 6 children, was spoiled something rotten by his doting mother. And so as an adult, he still has a residual “little emperor” attitude. Whereas I come from a family where we had to learn to do things ourselves and be thankful for the cuts, bruises and bleeding that resulted, by thunder (“You scraped your knee? That’s nothing! I lost an entire WOMB carrying you!”). As you can imagine, his approach to things is… different to mine.

So, on that fateful evening, we’re in the bedroom. He’s in bed reading and I’m on the computer:

Him: I’m thirsty…

Me: (Knowing what he’ll propose) Uh-huh.

(Silence for 3 seconds)

Him: Could you get me something to drink?

Me. Get it yourself.

Him: … But you’re closer to the door.

Me: What?

Him: You’re closer to the door. And therefore to the kitchen. It would take you less energy to get it for me than if I got it myself.

Me: * cold glare *

Him: I’m serious.

Me: In that case - [I get up and purposely stride across the room and stand directly opposite the door.]

Me: NOW you’re closest to the door! So get it yourself bitch - HAH!

Him: Oh YEA?? [Whereupon his royal highness gets up, sprints to the opposite corner of the room to the door]. Now YOU’RE closest to the door! So get me - OOF!!

Because at this point, I had tackled him to the ground. For that corner of the room has now become the Promised Land, rapidly changing owners as two screaming, otherwise rational, men degenerated into squabbling 5 year olds intent on a game of “king of the hill”. While I was physically larger than he was, he was more tenacious and knew some moves which comes from having 5 older siblings. Evenly matched we were, raging back and forth like the clash of the titans. The walls shook as bodies slammed against the wall, plaster flaked off, the screaming and yells providing a dreadful symphony until at last, the door to the bedroom burst open and a body came tumbling out at high speed, only to come to rest against the opposite wall.

Whereupon I picked myself up, nonchalantly dusted myself, and then with face suddenly twisted into a mask of rage, launched myself again like Sabretooth from Wolverine:Origins, and joined the battle anew. More plaster fell off the walls and ceiling.

Two minutes later, exhausted and sweaty, we lay panting on the floor. Silence. And then:

Me: I’m thirsty. You want a drink?

Him: Sure. Only if you’re offering.
[PS: No one was harmed nor punches thrown. We had a good laugh about it after. He still asks me to do things for him though.]