A half empty bottle of Olay body wash from my husband’s grandmother. Definitely weird.
I think this is positively brilliant.
Aw, thanks. Do I get a prize for winning the thread? Can the prize be a brick autographed by everyone in the thread?
Maybe you can trade the hollowed out bible for Kolga’s frog princess! And we can all sign both the bible and the frog. And we can put a brick in the bible. 
I like that idea.
Just to clarify, though. The condom wasn’t used. Does that make it not weird enough to qualify?
Like I said, I think it’s still around here somewhere. If I run across it, what’s your address? 
Want.
It’s not that bad, but we received a decoupage picture of a “bambi” like deer with a clock in it. It lived in a closet in our basement for years, and was referred to as “The Deer Clock”. As in… “If you keep bugging me to vacuum, I will go down and get The Deer Clock, and hang it up in the living room!”
Sadly, The Deer Clock was sold at a garage sale when we moved, to a nice couple who really, really liked it. I had a price tag on it that had a variety of prices crossed out: $1,000, $500, $100, $20 with a final price of “make me an offer”
A giant can of jalapeno peppers accompanied by a red necktie. I still don’t know why.
As a wedding present, from my wife’s deeply religious uncle, to whom she never even spoke and we didn’t even send an invitation:
A whoopee cushion.
No card, no note, not even wrapped. Just a brown paper box with a whoopee cushion in it. She only figured out who it was from by the return address, and that took some thinking.
My wife has some weird family on her dad’s side. For our wedding her aunt gave us black and red monogrammed knit coasters. They came in a little black and red monogrammed knit coaster holder.:dubious:
I’m glad it was one of the gifts we opened at home a week later. I didn’t keep the “wtf” I was thinking to myself. Neither did my wife though.
When my wife and I got married, we got a gift from a coworker of hers who was an art major. It was a very bizarre pen-and-ink drawing on a large piece of mat (matte?) board. It would look great framed and hanging on our wall - if we were the Addams family! I told my wife I figured he just grabbed something out of his pile in the studio at the last minute and wrapped it up, but she said he told her he had stayed up all night working on it. It’s been in the back of the bedroom closet the entire time we’ve been married. I think I should get it framed and give it to my wife as a surprise 20th anniversary present next year.
My father once gave me a pencil that said JESUS LOVES YOU for my birthday. I am agnostic. This was just before he took my sister out to eat for her birthday. She is also agnostic. We also had the same relationship with him (strained). I don’t think he was being a douche. I think he’s just a little deranged.
I’ve mentioned this before . . . we had a big party for Mr. S’s 40th birthday, and one relative gave him . . . an anatomically correct plush frog, complete with large penis and bushy black pubic fur. (Fur? On a frog? You betcha.) He had to hide it quickly from all the children who had gathered around to watch him open presents.
Yeah . . . um, we don’t have it anymore.
It sounds like that first one is called a vibraslap.
I love weird families. One day you mention you like a song, next you’re “That Music Person!”
My mother’s gifts, whether for the wrong person or just plain strange is legendary in our family.
One year, for Christmas, she got me a pair of windshield wipers. :rolleyes: To make it even stranger, they were for a car I had sold the previous February. :smack:
For a few years, my sibs and I would hold a re-distribution of gifts right before leaving her house at holiday time. It seems that a musical kid would get art supplies that the artsy kid requested, the artsy kid would get the handbag that the fashionista wanted, the fashionista would get the toolbox that the gearhead wanted, etc Mom never quite caught on.
My girlfriend and I were having a fight.
I stopped by to return some of her stuff.
She gives me the chiropteran in question. I knew at that moment that we would get back together.
My sister doesn’t give weird gifts, per se, just bad ones. Some “highlights” are:
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A birthday card with a stylized drawing of me on it, obviously meant to be humorous but severely falling flat 'cause it was accurate enough to hit on a few insecurities.
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A giftcard from Walgreen’s for my wife. Nothing says “I picked this up on the way here after I left work” like a gift card from Walgreens.
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My daughter got a stadium seat cushion for her 7th birthday. The same one we bought for their daughter. The week before.
Obviously to be prepared for the second coming.
A dotty old lady at work gave me a box of stuff when I got married and they gave me a little wedding shower ATF. There were two dishtowels, red and green, with drunk looking Santa faces on them; some measuring spoons; a glass plate (?); and an old, used salt and pepper shaker set. Just plain glass. There was salt still inside the salt shaker!
A relative of Mr. Sali’s died, and another relative cleaning out her house dropped off a big box of stuff that she had wanted us to have. Books, a clock, a couple of vases, some family pictures, just varied stuff. And three - three! - big wooden crucifixes. This relative said, “you hang these up on your bedroom walls. Or in a room when someone is dying, at home.” Uhhh…we gave them to the Salvation Army eventually. I would have dropped them off at some church, but didn’t think of it at the time.
I think my contribution to this thread also belongs here.