What is the worst strip club you've been to?

In My Humble Opinion
61

Guin, I must come across really innocent to you on here!:wink:
Yes, it had bene my dream job since I was 10, I guess cause everyone used to think I was so ugly, I wanted to prove differently.
Also, I loved to dance.
It was for 4 years, mainly on West 25th, in Clevelands West Side.
One decent one on Brookpark Road.
I danced with tiny outfit, though in one, for a short time, they had a back area where you could get naked for a customer. Most of the girls supposedly “did things” for money, but I only danced back there (and didn’t get much of a tip for it).

It was fun sometimes, like when one customer kept tipping me, and when I turned it in for larger bills, he’d given me $90!
A thrill, since I could keep it from my husband(who wouldn’t have thought anyone would tip that much).
Non fun, when you are trying to make your drink quota, and its not easy.

62

Vanilla, sounds like your experience was much different than mine. Most of the time it was fun, but it did get tiresome. I spent the majority of my dancing time at the larger clubs in Indianapolis. They were pretty nice, and the tips were usually good. $90 doesn’t sound like that much to me. How long ago was it?

63

My stag party was at the King of Diamonds in South Saint Paul, Minnesota. My brothers and buddies had surpassed themselves in their duty to get me completely sh*tfaced. So there I sat. At the end of the runway. With ten guys, only slightly less drunk than I, slapping dollar bills and beers onto the runway in front of me. I was involved in deep, meaningful, drunken conversation with my buddies when I had the vague sensation that the dancer had arrived. She was waiting for my full attention before she would begin dancing in her completely naked glory.

So I looked up.

And she, down at me.

The next thirty seconds occured far too quickly for my drunken concieousness to fully comprehend. I was on the floor. The bouncer was on top of me. And somebody was yelling.

Through the haze, the events of the past thirty seconds had snapped back into my brain as if on some temporal rubber binder. She looked down at me, and slowly, her eyes grew wider. Suddely, and without warning she threw her hands up in the air and yelled “JOHN”! She then jumped of the stage and gave me a giant bear hug.

Mind you. She was completely nude.

As you all have guessed, this is were our new friend the bouncer was introduced to our humble hero. It turns out that it is frowned upon to touch the dancers. Say there I lay. On a floor that I was certain was not clean, looking at what I was attempting to convince myself was a poor laquer job on the underside of the stage. Gawd, I thought. She looked familiar. So I lay there, feeling the immense weight of the sweaty bouncer slowly heaved off of me, taking a mental inventory of where I could have met this woman.

Of course. It came to me. Where else would I have met this woman stripping down to nothing at this seedy strip club where men releived the stresses of daily life on the underside of a stage. This club down the street from the run down slaughterhouses and railyards. This club as far away from the corporate glass and steel of downtown as was possible. Where else, but work. Work, as in the law firm. The law firm, as in the corporate law firm. As in the 500-person-power-suit-a-must-representing-a-major-auto-manufacturer-giant-corporate-law-firm. I felt as if a huge weight had been lifted off of me. Mostly, becuse it had. The bouncer was off me, and I could now see that she was the one yelling. She was telling the bouncer that it was her fault, and that he should get off me. I propped my self up on my elbows, and managed a plaintive “hi Denise”. “Hi” she said back, with a perky little wave and a flash of a smile. The naked girl with the giant boobies and the three inch heels jumped back up onto the stage with the agility of a cat. Her eyes remained fixed on me as I picked myself up. Halfway up, her gyrating began. Her momentary lapse had ended. I was again just a member of her audience.

I guess it really wasn’t the worst strip club I have ever been to. I just doubt I’ll be finding my way back there anytime soon.

64

I’m not counting the gay bar I wound up in on Drag Queen Night. That’s a whole 'nother story. But my worst strip club experience was also my first. Some place near the AMC Lennox 24 movie theater in Columbus (OH), just off the OSU campus. It cost me $10 just to get in. Then I sat down, feeling a little nervous and risque. (I was 22 years old). A dancer sat next to me and struck up a conversation, being all (fake) friendly, etc. Then some other woman walks over and asks if I want to buy the first one a drink. I only have $5 more on me, so Iask what they have for that. The 2nd woman says their CHEAPEST drink is $10. :eek: I visibly balk at this, so she asks if I want to tip woman #1. She pulls her top down about and inch, and I stuff my five in. She exits immediately, all trace of friendliness gone.
I left 30 sec. later, feeling like a total rube.

I can honestly say though that from that humble beginning I’ve had nothing but good experiences. Talking to the women like real human beings seems to have a real effect on how they treat you. I usually get more than my money’s worth.

The BEST place I’ve ever been to was Rick’s, in Seattle. There must’ve been 200 guys in there, it was hotter than hell, and about 20 women who very obviously enjoyed their jobs. All of them gorgeous. Mmm.

This thread makes me miss Oregon. Over there, it’s legal to serve booze in a fully nude club. I remember Cowgirls in Roseburg fondly. No cover after midnight, clean, no bikers, etc. No really gorgeous women, but no skanks either. A good place to just plop down, have a brew, and get an eyeful with no pressure to tip or any other kind of hassle. My brother’s batchelor party in Portland is also one night I’ll never forget.

65

So NurseCarmen, what exactly did this woman DO at the law firm?? How well did you know her?

66

She was the copy center girl. I was a clerk, so I dealt with her constantly.

67

Oh vanilla, please don’t think I was judging you or calling you a skank. My best friend from high school is a stripper.

It’s just that you of all people…guess you never really know some people…:wink:

68

A few more bad strip club experiences:

A place called Diamond Dolls in upstate NY. I stopped in one afternoon. They had one dancer working there. Admittedly she was both attractive and friendly but because private dances are more profitable than stage dances she was only doing the former. And whenever she went into the backroom to give a private dance, the rest of us were basically sitting around a very seedy bar that didn’t even have a TV, drinking five dollar Cokes.

A place whose name I don’t recall in western NY (it later closed after a fire anyway). Nothing outstandingly bad about it but it had a $13 cover charge. Then when I went inside it wasn’t the cheapest looking place I’ve ever seen. A guy who’d built a rec room in his basement that looked this pathetic would be ashamed to invite over his friends. There was one other customer, a bartender, and two dancers. But I’d paid my money so I stayed for a while. The girls were both friendly (I was at least giving tips unlike the other guy) and a third dancer showed up. But still the worst cost/result ratio I’ve ever encountered.

Schveidie’s in Buffalo, NY. A pretty poor excuse for a strip club. They had two dancers who’d take turns (along with breaks every half hour). One was reasonably attractive, the other was not. But while Schveidie’s failed as a strip club it was pretty nice if you looked at it as a good neighbourhood bar that happened to have an occasional topless dance. That and I also ended up going out with the attractive dancer.

Concord Lounge in Niagara Falls, Ont. Again not a spectacularly bad club but, in my experience, most Canadian clubs are excellent - reasonably priced, friendly, clean, and abundently full of attractive and talented dancers. The Conk was an exception; fairly dingy and the dancers were noticibly below the standards of other clubs in the area. The only reason I ended up going there was I had a friend who was inexplicably enamored with the place.

Mint’s, also in Niagara Falls. Usually a good club but one time I was there and the dancer performing convinced me to join her on stage. She went through some of the usual routines such as pulling my shirt off which were merely annoying. But then for some reason she decided to rake my chest with her fingernails. Hard. Hard enough in fact that I soon realized I was actually bleeding. Thanks for the memories dear.

Big Daddy’s in New Orleans. Unlike the others I’ve mentioned this place actually annoyed me. A nice place with attractive dancers but I was being hustled for tips from the minute I walked in the door. I generally am a generous tipper but in this place I found myself going the other way and not offered any money I didn’t have to in reaction to the greed around me. Not a place I lingered in.

69

A few other things I’ve seen in strip clubs:

We had a girl who danced here for about a month and a half who actually had three nipples. I originally thought it was just an unfortunate mole, but upon further (closer) examination I started to believe it. I was starting to date her roomate at the time. The 3-nip girl had just had a baby a few months before and I once saw her produce milk from the third nip, no shit.

I was in my personal favorite club, The Opequon Hill Club in Martinsburg, WV ( a hole in the wall, but dear to my heart). A guy who was a regular had just hit the lottery. I’m talking the million-dollar jackpot. He was using $20’s like I use ones. No, like I would use pennies if I could. There must have been 10 other guys in there, but we were all completely invisible. Every dancer in the bar was on this guy. I saw women do things I had only dreamed about. Only I had to see them over this guys shoulder.

Part of my usual “job” is to act as kind of an informal bouncer. Our club doesn’t really have bouncers in the sense of huge weightlifters who hurt people. If someone’s being a dick, I casually stroll over and remind him that he’s got to get from the door to his car and sometime during that journey he’s likely to take a hard fall if he continues with his present conversation/harassment. One time I was standing next to the bar and this army guy slapped one of my friends on the ass. Ever see that scene in the movies where something happens and the record skips, everything goes silent, and everyone looks at one guy? That slap generated exactly that response. It was way funnier than I can explain in words.

A dancer wedding where all the bridesmaids were dancers. Yes, it was just like you’d imagine.

I saw a guy bring in his girlfriend, you know as one of those “cool” couples things to do. Where he buys her a couch dance and she pretends to like it? Well, she was really nervous and embarassed on the first one. She went and sat with him at the bar after and thought about it for a while. She made him pay for a second dance, which he thought was cool. Two turned to three and before you know it she was bumming 20’s off of friends. My friend who was the dancer (she’s very bi) ended up taking her home for the night, without the boyfriend.

I once got in a fight in the club on Halloween with the on-again, off-again boyfriend of this dancer. The kicker was I had in these contacts that made my eyes totally black. They were part of my costume. Ever try to stare someone down whose eyes are totally black? He was not very successful, had to go get one of his friends to help him.

70

The Palomino Club - North Las Vegas The stench was absolutely unbearable. Weeks of BO imminating from underarm stubble unsuccessfully masked with massive doses of really cheap perfume. I’d never believed it possible for a female to smell that bad.

71

That was back in 1991ish.
That was a lot for me, I was never tipped much. Not counting that one, the most I ever got tipped in a 5 hour shift was $60.

72

Hrm, from the cover charges people mention it sounds like I’m getting a little ripped off-

The Crazy Horse has a $25 cover charge. Combined with tips I usually burn through $60 in one night (sometimes more). Thats why its become a much rarer thing for me now- I’m trying to save what I earn presently.

I’m a generous tipper if I see what I like. I wouldn’t be very happy if I was getting badgered into tipping. And I would take some of them up on their offer of a private dance if it didn’t cost so much (100 dollars!). Though If I ever hit the lottery or something similar I’d probably go there :smiley: and have a blast.

73

Near where I went to college there’s something that calls itself a shopping plaza, which yes has a laundromat and probably other stores, but it’s a home for two strip clubs under the same owner. I’ve been to each once.

When I started college in the area, I went to the 18-and-up club, on one end of the . . . well . . . strip mall. They have full nudity, but they don’t serve alcohol. I remembered it being quite fun.

Then a few months after turning 21, I decided to go to the 21-and-up place, on the other end of the plaza, where they kept their panties on but you could buy alcohol. Nice place.

There was this one incredibly hot dancer with glasses on – the glasses gave her a “librarian from a porn movie” effect that only made her hotter. I went for a private dance (they take you to a separate store halfway between the two clubs, probably so the girls at this place can show more in private).

The dance was horrible. She said so herself. She said “My first dance of the evening is always horrible” – she’d been there for five hours by that time.

Then after her was another girl. Pretty cute too. She came over to me and started talking to me.

“What’s your name?” she said.

“Daniel,” I said.

“Oh, really! That’s my brother’s name!” . . . then, in a sultry voice: “can I interest you in a private dance?”

okay that was just creepy.

74

Two reasons:

—Horny guys may get belligerent, as //\etalhea|) attests. Horny drunk guys are even more likely to become belligerent.

—In some areas, the law was passed in a misguided attempt to get full-nudity clubs shut down entirely. Fat chance. As Jewel Shephard said in her book If I’m So Famous, How Come Nobody’s Ever Heard of Me? (read it! read it!), “Pussy is stronger than alcohol.” Also, I’ve heard of some clubs that manage to “skirt” the law (haw haw) by having the dancers wear tops but no pants.

75

Hmmm… Max’s or Mack’s or somecrap?

76

On Burbon Street. We tipped the chick $20.00 to put her clothes back on.

77

Oh, my God! I used to pass that place all the time when I would drive my brother to school (He went to DeMatha). I always wondered if it was as bad inside as it looked outside, and you have answered my question.

I haven’t been out that way in years, but it wouldn’t surprise me if the club was still standing. And it was back in '84 that I drove my brother to school.