What is the worst strip club you've been to?

I’ve only been to two strip clubs, and of those two, one was bad and one was good. The Crazy Horse in San Francisco was fun, I enjoyed it so much I used to frequent it last year (don’t have the time/money to go lately).

However there was another strip club I went to with some friends. It was the Kit Kat Club in Cupertino. Maybe I just went on a bad day or something, but it wasn’t that great. All the girls there looked like emaciated 17 year old runaways with uninterested/scowling expressions on their faces. Plus, they wouldn’t even come out until enough people tossed their tips out. Now I’m not knocking their profession, but doing things that way is like tipping a waiter before you’re even seated. I’m not stingy, I just want to get my money’s worth. And really, it wasn’t worth it. Tipping more money had absolutely no effect on their behavior/routine and they were all extremely pushy about private dances (which cost 60 bucks and no excuse would make them stop)

The Crazy Horse was much better IMO. The girls there definitely made tipping worthwhile and they were better looking too. They were also much more…interactive with the customers :slight_smile:

Even though the Kit Kat Club was bad IMO I imagine that it wasn’t REALLY bad as strip clubs go. My friend’s coworkers went to a club called the Brass Rail which they said had a bunch of flabby, bad-smelling ‘dancers’ who would have auctions for their soiled undwear and no so much dance as angrily stomp around the stage :eek:

Carousel Club, New York City. Slimy place, skanky women.

Back in the late 70’s, in Miami, down on Bird Road and 67th there used to be a strip club called Foxy Ladies. From the outside the place looked like a run down, wood front dive. On the inside it looked like a run down, wooden front dive, with 50 year old women dancing naked on a stage about the size of an egg crate.

Why was I there you ask? I was 16, my high school was close by, and I was cutting class. What better way to spend a couple of hours than sneaking into a strip joint? Remember, this was back when the minimum drinking age was 18, so it really wasn’t that hard for a couple of 16 year olds to “pass”.

My therapist calls this “group therapy”.

Oh, you are really ticking me off. I went to San Francisco for the first time last month on a work trip for my wife. I just walked around by myself for most of the week. I passed the Crazy Horse at least 20 times and after about time 5 I had a really hard time talking myself out of into going in. I never did (I have only been to two strip clubs in my life). Now I wish that I had gone in.

[homer voice]

… Mmmm, emaciated 17 year old runaways…

[/homer voice]

Happy 1,000 post, Shag!

Heh, I live in San Jose, and the place is fun enough to be willing to put up with a 1 hour drive each way. Only downside is parking- its located in a rather dense commercial district and the only place I’ve found to park is under the freeway…Everytime I go I’m afraid of getting mugged/having my car stolen.

The Body Shop, Columbus, Ohio - Pregnant bartender takes the stage. Enough said…

Private Dancer, Columbus, Ohio - I’ll try to explain this without being too graphic but be warned.

After taking a seat at the end of the “runway” type bar.

Dancer # 1 - Moderately attractive blonde dancer, very tall begins to dance. Yippee sez me. Blonde makes her way to the end of the runway directly in front of me and again, yippee sez me. Blonde lays down on floor in front of me and spreads her legs, ohmygod sez me. Let’s just say… well… I could have tossed pool cue balls in there without touching the sides.

Dancer # 2 - Short, spunky-type brunette begins to dance. She is quite acrobatic and does nice little flipsey-spin things as she dances around. More reserved yippee sez me, still traumatized by “gaping hole girl”. Spunky-girl makes her way to the end of the bar and assumes the same position as previous blonde dancer and I swear to God Almighty as my witness she must have JUST given birth within the last few days. Things were… well, I’m not a doctor but… bruising and stitching were involved.

We left at that point…

I think the wierdest thing I ever saw at a strip club was when a patron wearing glasses had a girl climb off the stage and sit on his shoulders, wrapping her legs around his head and sorta grinding around. When she got off him, his hair was all disheveled and his glasses were gone. As the dancer started to walk away, she paused, reached between her legs, pulled out the glasses! The guy spent the rest of the evening wiping off ‘smudges’ off his glasses

Wait. . .are you saying this is a bad or good club? :dubious:

I could count the number of times that I have been to strip bars on the fingers of one hand. That said, some friends and I went to one just outside of Corpus Christi, Tx. that was a family type of joint–everybody knew each other and it seemed that the strippers had danced for the same customers for years.

To top things off, the youngest stripper was on stage when her parents showed up. She called out, then jumped off stage and ran to meet them. It was obvious that the mom and dad were proud of their daughter. I’m glad that they were, but I still can’t get my head around the whole experience.

Either “The Goldrush” on 14th Street in Washington DC (I was 18 and one of the dancers gave me a table dance and then took my drink napkin, proceeded to rub it across her vagina, and gave it back to me as a birthday present. How thoughtful. And the longneck bottle of bud only cost me $5).


The Last Chance here in Richmond. The place had framed portraits of both Gen. Robert E. Lee and Stonewall Jackson on the wall. At the end of the night the DJ played “Dixie.” You were required to stand up, just as if they were playing the national anthem. Given the size and demeanor of the bouncers, you stood up without being asked more than once.

I also forgot 'Daddy Rabbit’s." They had a breakfast special when the opened at 6:00 a.m. for construction crews: Tits and Grits.

The Dream Club–Muncie, IN. Yikes, that place was nasty.

Also, Shannon’s Roaring 20s–Indianapolis, IN. Never went in there, but heard that they had a dancer with a big stab scar on her belly. They got shut down because the place was basically a whorehouse. I guess there were condoms and nasties all over the floor.

When I was in my early 20’s living in Houston, a couple of friends of mine went out to pick up something or other. I don’t remember why, but I stayed at the guy’s apt instead of going with them. About half an hour later, they call and insist that I come down and meet them at the Pink Pussycat, which was a dive topless bar on (I believe) Richmond. I wasn’t particularly interested, but they insisted, saying the women were totally hot, great dances, etc… So I go.

I get there and there are 3 chicks, and the best looking one just had one belly roll. They all had tits like they had suckled at least 5 kids each, you know, the kind that hang straight down with the nipple pointed at the ground. They were trying hard to get us interested, and I was doing my best not to laugh at them. We drank a beer and got out of there. I asked why in the hell did they call me, and they said since I had come too, that I couldn’t bust on them for having gone to see the skankiest dancers in the universe. Thanks for reminding me of the experience…

“Hi, Mom!”

I’ve only been to two strip clubs in my time, but one of them was definitely skanky. Maybe it was just because I was being dragged by a friend who was absolutely, totally wasted, but I really didn’t enjoy myself. Plus all the men looked as if they were stripping in order to afford steroids and crystal meth.

…and watered down Genesee. I was there once. “Wanna buy the lady a drink?” When we said no, the dancers avoided us.

In Dickson City, a suburb of Scranton, used to sit (may still FAIK) a bar called The Rose. 5 dancers, 7 skinned knees, 12 bruised thighs, and maybe a full set of teeth…

ALL the strip clubs along 10th St. in Oklahoma City are scuzzy, or were about 10 years ago.

I friend of mine went through a fascination with strip clubs (going as far as dating a few: a whole other story) and would drag me along. The worst was called Bear’s Animal House. All the dancers appeared to be really obese biker chicks doing disgusting things with shag rugs (don’t ask) in a small well-lit room on a tiny stage.


That should have been," A friend of mine . . ."

Bad stripclubs are like bad girlfriends. Sure you’re embarrassed when it’s over, but you’re still left with some good stories.

The worst I’d ever gone to was some random dive in Wheeling, WV. Being 18 and having nothing better to do, my friend and I took an hour to drive down there, to be greeted by a bar with one small stage and 4 other patrons, each of whom looked like like they believed girth was sexy and food on their straining white t-shirts accentuated said girth.

The first girl came out, and she was fairly cute, though looked as though she might have fallen down the steps on her way out. Maybe two flights, as her legs were a bit mangled and her knees didn’t have much in the way of unbroken skin left on them. However, we made the trip, we tipped her, said thanks then waited 10 minutes for the next girl.

Next a gorgeous brunette came out wearing a sun dress and showing great legs. You have to understand that I don’t like the super thin girls, but ones with nice round hips and soft legs. Of course, a flat belly along with hips just makes my mouth water, and watering it was. First, she pushed the top down, showing even more flesh which was quite appealing. Then she turned around and pushed the dress the rest of the way down, keeping her legs straight, a very stripper-esq way to remove her clothing. What we weren’t expecting is what greeted us when she turned around.

I found out that night that the Discovery channel had lied to me. Never had it been explained that humans are part of the marsupial family. Two seconds after she turned to us, her pouch cleared her hips and swung full force across her belly. I guess the club didn’t offer a well paid maternaty leave, as I can’t imagine any other reason for her to be back dancing so soon after birthing a full litter.

We quickly tipped her and tried to think of how she looked before the dress was removed.

Finally the headliner came out. September was her name. She had pictures all over the club, she had come all the way from California, though I’m now guessing they meant California, PA - about 30 minutes from Wheeling.

September herself was fairly attractive, though too thin for my taste and gave off a very strong “I’m good looking so I can be a bitch and you’ll just take it” vibe. “You’re not THAT good looking,” said my copilot from behind his zipper, as she started dancing.

I have to admit I’ve been to a lot of strip clubs. It happens when you build a website for one. Also, when you’re bored in Vegas, or LA or anywhere else my travels take me. In all of the stripclubs I’ve frequented, I’ve never seen a dance move like the one September performed.

I’m getting ahead of myself, though, as there is a bit of information you need to know about Ms. September. You see, I like cleanliness. To this regard, I enjoy the general trend of girls shaving all of their body hair in strip clubs (or anywhere else I see them). I do enjoy hair on private bits too, if well maintained and properly groomed. I must say that September looked like she had possibly gone to the bathroom moments before coming out to dance and her bits had seen something so terrifying that it sent it’s hairs on end.

Either that or she frequently uses a Vendegraff Generator as a pleasure toy.

Why are September’s 8" straight standing pubes important? Because during her dance, she would yank handfulls of them out and sprinkle them about those watching her like naughty pixxie dust. I’m very thankful that I’ve never seen this little trick repeated.

Suffice to say, not long after the pubic fairy visited us did we head for the exits. I’ve managed to not find myself in that bar since.