YOU’RE no fun. What would I do for entertainment if I didn’t take tweezers and a needle to my husband on a regular basis? He can’t divorce me, nobody else knows where he’s apt to get ingrown hairs and the occasional boil.
Ooh, my ex-boyfriend had one of these. It was a big lump on his back, and I caught him trying to squeeze it one day. I casually asked him if he wanted me to try (even though I was super excited, I love popping zits) and had him lay on the bed. I couldn’t even find the pore at first, so I just started gently squeezing and holy hell! A long, thin line of cheesy stuff came shooting out, so much that it kept doubling up on itself and formed a little pile on his back. From then on I would clean it out every few days and put astringent on it. When it didn’t seem to be going away, I took a sterilized needle and poked it, then gave it a couple of good squeezes until some hard white stuff came shooting out (I ducked). It went away after that. 
BTW, I am not recommending the above procedure. I am not a professional zit popper, even though it would be like my dream job.
It sounds like an infection to me. When I was in Europe last month, my left index finger got infected and it swelled up to about twice its normal size! And since the trip was musical missionary tour, we had to play almost every single day and I played violin! :eek: So, anyways, one of the teachers who used to be a nurse had to pop it and I swear, the pus was green. Like, NEON green. Like this smiley face’s green: 
. So, anyways, after all the stuff came out, the swelling went down. But, I really think you should see a doc if it doesn’t go away, but hopefully, it will.
Oh, god. You and me both. I might consider paying for the privilege.
Oh. My. Dear. God…
…it’s started again.
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Never thought I would be trotting this story out for all the world to see , but here it is .
Go figure .
I have a permanant …large pore/pimple thing on my chest-bone might in the middle . It is not bothersome , and is not noticable unless you know it is there or are looking really , really close . :dubious: It will occasionally swell a bit , I know it needs squeezing , I squeeze , get out a small amount of white , cheesy stuff , and forget about it till next time .
Welllllllll… last Fall , it began to grow . And grow , and grow ,and grow…it was puffed up to about an inch tall , as big around as a quarter . And how long did this take , you ask ? Days and days ? Nope , it happened overnight . I went to bed normal , and woke up with what almost looked like a third tit . I gave it a little squeeze , to see what would happen , and it was very hot to the touch . And something… weird and unexpected happened . I felt like internal… pop , like how a zit feels , but not on the surface , but INSIDE . Huh 
?? I squeezed a little more , and the thing reduced in size some , and directly BELOW it , another began to rise , right before my eyes ! I could feel it … whatever it was in my chest was roughly shaped like a dumbbell : the original one at the top , a path or trail less than 1’4 inch wide and maybe 1-1/2 inches long , leading to another hot , swollen lump under my skin . I decided to leave it alone for a while , but after a couple hours it was feeling really uncomfortable , not HURTNG really , but felt very tight . So back to the bathroom I went .
I gently squeezed the top one again , and this time it erupted like Mt. St. Helens , spewing forth a seemingly endless stream of pun , blood and that thick cheesy crap . I kid you not , it shot out and hit the mirror ! :eek: It seemed to drain out , but there was that bottom one , still mocking me , so I squeezed it , too .
Here’s where it gets a little weird .
it began to empty , but not by popping like a zit . No , this baby began emptying back into the FIRST one . I kid you not , it was like squeezing a tube of toothpaste , you could SEE that little narrow pathway filling , the top one refilling , and once again spewing out . It was like pressing a button and having the … stuff explode out . I was facinated by it , and completely drained it . Several hours later , it had refilled , not as full , but full enough for a repeat . This went on all day . By the next day , it was a little red and warm , but did not refill . Now , months later , I still have the mark of the top one , but it has never refilled .
Anyone top the sheer weirdness of this tale ?? 
Yeah, that thread, so vile yet so irresistible, is the one that originally got me interested in the SDMB. 
“So vile, yet so irresistible” - yup, that sums it up alright. Like, you want to faint from reading some of this stuff, and in your weakened condition, crawl back over to the computer and read some more.
PapSett, that is…there are no words. Ai-yi-yi.
PapSett, that’s one of the best zit stories I’ve ever read. My zits are boring compared to this, although I can squeeze mine in such a way that they spray all over the bathroom mirror.
I keep telling my sweetie that I’m not the only woman in the world who gets excited when her guy gets a back zit. And he gets lots of 'em. All kinds of squeezing fun for me!
Papsett, I bow to your greatness!
Aw , gee , guys , t’weren’t nothin’ . Not like I PLANNED the damned thing , it was just an act of the Zit God . I guess .
BTW , do any of you guys’ DOGS get those little cyst thingies that you can pop like a zit , and send copious amounts of white cheesy stuff gushing out ? My old dogs do … well , the forst dgo I noticed one on wasn’t old , she was a young Doberman , and I found a pea-sized lump on the loose skin of her flank , and when I squeezed it , that semi-solid crap squirted out . Didn’t find another on any of the dogs for several years , and my old Gordon Setter , Corey , developed a marble-sized lump on a foreleg , had it for over a year , the vet assured me it was harmless . Then one day when I was grooming him , I knicked it with the clippers accidentially , and it was filled with the same stuff . It drained and drained and drained , I packed it with Neosporin , and it went away .
Now my 11 year old Gordon Setter Fancy gets them on occasion , I usually catch them when they are fairly small and pop them . She is the most … prolific with them , has probably had a half dozen or more over the last year .
My dog, a golden retriever, had one of those on one of her back legs. She didn’t mind having it squeezed. We eventually had it removed at the vet’s; they determined that it was basically a hair follicle gone bad.
My dog, a Standard Schnauzer, developed a lump on the back of her neck, close to one ear, about two years ago. It was soft and moved around under the skin, so we didn’t really pay any attention to it, until it started to grow. Bea would constantly be sticking her neck out to be scratched, so I guess it was getting uncomfortable for her as well. I was scratching her behind the ears one day and my fingers happened upon the lump. I decided to feel it to see if it was harder, more compact etc., and gave it a gentle nudge. It promptly exploded all over my hand. The stuff was jet black, like ink. It kept streaming out of the rapidly-deflating lump like a small geysir. Bea looked significantly relieved. I jokingly remarked to my mom that we had found the black color gland (she’s pepper-and-salt, i.e. black-and-white-banded hairs).
A few days later, the lump was back to its previous size. This time, it didn’t even need nudging. I grazed it slightly while trimming Bea’s ear hair and it exploded again. This time, though, the stuff inside had more of a pus-like quality and was a dirty gray color. I called the vet after that, and we had the lump removed. It turns out it was a benign tumor that had formed in and around one hair follicle. The black stuff the first time was probably liquified dog hair. Urgh.
Man, I love these kind of threads. ashamed
AAAAAHHHHHH!!!1111one
I love these threads, too.
Last week, I managed to pull something resembling a piece of orzo out of my inner thigh in the shower. Sadly, I couldn’t relocated it for further squeezin’.
However, I’m thrilled to find The Volcano located on my pubic mound about once a year. Ingrown hair, with a hard plug… Followed by much thick, white goo. Squee!
That’s all I got. BRING MORE ZIT STORIES! I must squeeze vicariously through my fellow Dopers.
I think…I’m going…To VOMIT…
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Yeah, but this one time, my dad got barred from performing surgery on himself at home because he removed…
Four inches of vein from his own leg. He felt a string, so he pulled and pulled till it all came out. Then had to go to the doctor because the bleeding would not stop. The doctor confirmed that the ‘string’ was a vein, cause dadsix saved it in a baggie to show the doctor. I think he was proud of it.
What the hell is it about women and zit popping? Sometimes I can’t take my shirt off in the presence of the Lovely and Talented Mrs. Shodan unless I am willing to undergo examination and, if necessary, treatment. And she looks forward to the treatment especially. Even the part where I am howling in agony as she applies the rubbing alcohol.
Freud asked, “what does a woman want?” I bet he never suspected…
Regards,
Shodan
Has anyone forwarded this thread to Coldfire? He used to love them so much!
OK, a non-zit story but a disgusting dermatological phenomenon:
My mom has these weird bumps on her back. They look like moles or freckles, but they’re not. They’re a build-up of sebacious gunk. The condition has a name, like “sebaciou keratosis,” or something, but I don’t remember.
Anyway, it looks disgusting, but they can be removed at home with no bleeding or mess. The problem is, even the most vigorous scrub with a back loofah doesn’t get them. The only way to do it is to scrape 'em off with a fingernail or similar scrape-y instrument.
Mom won’t ask Dad to do it because he makes her feel bad by raving about how disgusting it is. So, she recently asked me to do it. I’m not one of those females who likes picking zits. I have a strong stomach, but man–it was churning as I scraped those suckers off her back. It’s like picking waxy scabs.
Do any of you zit-lovers live in the Des Moines area? My mom would probably pay you to help her out. just kidding
Ask her to switch to witch hazel. Still antiseptic, but doesn’t burn.
Interesting article on the phenomenon at Salon… (day pass required probably to view it)…