A snippet of the review, for those too lazy to click on it:
It’s “doorbell.” He’s hoping the girl will come see him. I like it, but then I like the White Stripes, so I’m biased.
I’d like to point out in general that mere bad lyrics don’t make a song bad; the chief skill required of a pop singer is the ability to sing the most inane, trite, stupid lyrics as if no one had ever felt this way before. You can write down the lyrics to pretty much any song and they’ll at least lose their oomph, if not sound completely lame.
However…
deevee is correct. “MacArthur Park” is the worst goddam song ever perpetrated upon the ears of humanity.
The lyrics go way, WAY beyond “trite” or “inane” into the realms of “inconceivably stupid.” These lyrics are so stupid they’re cruel.
The music (on the version I’ve heard) sounds like it was written by a committee–of Commodore 64s. I think the entire string section must have gotten carpal tunnel from the overemoting required of them.
And the melody… Dear god, the melody… The melody is of such hyperdriven, cloying sentimentality as to make Rod McKuen claw out his own eardrums. And Kurt Weill still wouldn’t even bother trying to fix what’s left over.
And now, thanks to this thread, I’m going to be singing it all day.
Okay, help me out here. Maybe three or four years ago there was an inexplicable hit with incredibly bad lyrics…I want to say it was “Summer Girls”? There was a line in there about how “Chinese food gives me gas” or something like that.
I vote for that song.
“AndeyeIIIIIIIIIIeeeeeeeYiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hhhhwhilllll always love youououououuwoowooou…”
When “Break my Stride” started playing the other day in Smart & Final, I said to myself, “Thank goodness I’m in the checkout line and almost out the door.”
I’ve never cared for Cream’s version of “I’m So Glad” either. The original is much better, if you like scratchy old vinyl recordings.
FWIW, the guy who wrote it (Mississippi bluesman Skip James), hated Cream’s version. His wife didn’t even think it was the same song.
Mmmmm Mmmmm Mmmmm by the Crash Test Dummies is banned by most international treaties and has been deemed too cruel for POWs by the Geneva Convention.
James died before Cream recorded the song. I have heard that his wife didn’t recognize the song, but was plenty glad for the royalty check.
A vote here for “Paralyzed” by the Legendary Stardust Cowboy, with none other than T-Bone Burnett on drums. Must be heard to be believed.
“Fluffy”, sung by Gloria Balsam. “Heeeeere, Fluffy, where are you, where aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaare you?”
And the video was even more nauseating. He makes my skin crawl. Was there ANY hook to that song? :wally
No votes for “Mandy” by Barry Manilow?
I am shocked.
Muskrat Love is up there, along with Don’t It Make My Brown Eyes Blue, anything by Kicky Dee (or however you spell it). How about “Ebony and Ivory” or “In the Ghetto” bu Elvis, no less?
“Coming to America” by Neil Diamond is rank.
Most things by Celine Dion–including that motorcycle video and the Titanic song.
“Carrion” by someone or other (some kind of rock band, early '90’s).
ANY rap–and most hip-hop–what IS that shit?
Gah-now have a head full of Seasons of the Sun and Uncle Joe eating cake in the rain or whatever. Need major brain cleansing!
Ugh…the Neil Diamond reference just dragged “Heartlight” out of that cold, dark part of my mind that I hate to visit. Bleccchhhhhh.
But, but… she came and she gave without taking!
I like to kareoke that when totally shit faced drunk. Just make up lyrics, have the audience sing along, and break into “AndeyeIIIIIIIIIIeeeeeeeYiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii hhhhwhilllll always love youououououuwoowooou…” * sometime near the end when people are starting to get sick of your drunk ass.
Ah yes, I loves me those county fairs…
- as demonstrated so well by Viva Los Twages
Never Surrender - Cory Hart
I want to Know What Love is - Foreigner
Jack and Diane - John Cougar (before he was Mellencamp)
Old Time Rock and Roll - Bob Seger
Emotional Rescue - Stones
To name a few…
Yeah, but he sent her away (for obvious reasons).
Anything sung by Neil Diamond. Anything. Personally, I think he’s a pretty good songwriter. But I’d rather be disembowled with a weedeater than listen to him sing.
That really annoying Can’t Take My Eyes Off Of You song. Ye gods, I hate that one.
At least half a dozen of the songs mentioned so far are on my i-tunes playlist. I squandered good moral capital stealing them off Napster, too. No, I won’t say which ones.
Nobody’s mentioned “In the Year 2525”? Unbelievable.
Yeah, but the Shaggs induce a kind of eye-watering awe with the sheer greatness of their badness. I actually listen to the Shaggs from time to time. It’s like eating a really hot meal (a really REALLY hot meal), or watching a gory Italian horror movie; it’s some cleansing, cathartic, in the way it takes you out of real life into, almost, a different plane of existence, or something. The way leftist politics, taken to its extreme, become rightist extremism, the Shaggs achieved a unique greatness whose like we shall never see again. If we’re lucky.
Must perview.
We were TRYING to suppress that memory.
Thanks a lot.