Books – 5 of ‘em. Bridget Jones’ Diary AND The Edge of Reason. Also, Triumph of the Straight Dope(natch), Calvin and Hobbes and a cookbook (The Galloping Gourmet) that I bought at a garage sale last weekend. Um, what else? Candy wrappers. One slipper. One pair of slightly used underpants. That’s it! Not too bad – just don’t ask me what’s under my car seats…
umm… Snooooopy, why did you have your … um … magazines under dantheman’s bed? Not that it’s my business, or anything, but just asking for clarification.
As for MY bed, a Makarov 9X18mm semi-automatic, round in the chamber, ski-wear, an MRE box full of aerosol cans, and cat hair.
That’s easy! Because my mom would NEVER think to look for my … um … magazines under the bed of someone I have never met in my entire life. Wasn’t really convenient for me, of course, but privacy is important.
Under the bed I found a single large pretzel crumb, which I threw away, and an old photo of me with dyed blonde hair. I left the pic where I found it.
[music]There’s a monster…livin’ under my bed…whispering in my ear…[/music]
Everlast with Santana from the Supernatural album
sorry, couldn’t resist 
I’m gonna get you, darian!
Anyways, under my bed there is a thriving culture of militant mutant trash. A year ago my bedroom was ravaged in the War Of The Bed, in which the mutant trash negotiated a deal with Kamikaze dive-bombing June bugs in return for supplying food to the June Bugs.
I declared war after suffering several direct hits, and fortunately my combat effectiveness was not affected. Let me tell you, I thought there was no way the mutant trash could have survived my counterattack, but apparently they did. However, their new government has offered reparations for the war, and have further demonstrated their good will by destroying the June bugs that were responsible for manipulating the whole situation to suit their own dark agenda.
And I’m not even going to get started on the transplanted hell-born dust bunnies…
Just some spare fur from my black cat - Blackie Pie
-My extra sheets in a box
-My Magick box…books,candles,spell ingredients etc
-My journal
-My poetry book
A lifesize cardboard cutout of Elliott Sadler
I am fully prepared to be the housing unit for all magazines, as no mother resides on these premises.
Heh.
350 hours of Grateful Dead tapes, my guitar case (guitar is on the stand in the corner), my comforter (wrapped up in a plastic trash bag for the summer), a set of X-Rays of my back, an ADC Atlas of the Richmond area, and Kyocera tuner, a Nakamichi tape deck, and a B&O amplifier. My shoes stay in the closet where they belong.
The pedestal for the waterbed.
Sometimes I think I should get a regular bed so I can keep stuff under it. I’d be the one with the stuff under the bed, The Little Woman would take more closet space. “Well you can keep your crap under the bed…”
Or maybe a more high-tech waterbed with storage under it…
I live in a small apartment so I keep the wine cellar under my bed. And the cat has apparently discovered a small space she can sleep in under there, or maybe she’s been drinking my mead, I’m not sure. There’s a box of fabric remnants and a small box of leftover computer junk.
Under the table in the living room is far more interesting, as it has my flatmate’s camel saddle among other things.
I forgot to mention I also have a Raving Nude Hermit under my bed…Good name by the way. Welcome to the board. Monty Python reference perhaps?
Nude Hermit says to Brian: “You told these people to eat my juniper berries. You break my bloody foot, you break my vow of silence, and then you try to clean up on my juniper bushes”
Bahahahahaha! I swear, one of the things that keeps me from trying to find another apartment is my fear of confronting whatever dust monster has evolved under my bed.
If it ever attains locomotion, we’re all doomed.
[Aside to UncleBill] Dude, take a word of advice from someone who’s been there. Do not store your weapon next to your ski mask! In the event of a search, it is very difficult to explain. Put the ski stuff in the closet. Heh.
oh yeah, I forgot about Elvis. A life size cardboard Elvis, still in the box. (It’s not mine, I swear!)
It’s a-ha, it’s a…biiiirrrtthhdayyy present, yea!
Thank you, thank you very much
A really old 386 IBM, complete with the HUGE floppy disk drive and Windows 3.1.
Noted, but I do not have a ski mask, just a neoprene lower face covering thingy that leaves my eyes exposed. Need to accesorize whilst nocturnally increasing my net worth. I prefer the goggles with cat eyes printed on them. Uniqueness detracts potential witnesses away from that troublesome and possibly embarrassing “height, weight, hair color” question.
But don’t tell anyone, it is a trade secret.
Additionally under the bed: a toilet paper roll core. The cat loves to play with used toiletry items. I am not proud of that fact.
Under my bed is a emergency fire escape ladder to hang out the window in case of fire, and nothing more.
I believe in the Boy Scout motto.
Me too. That’s why there’s an AR-15 under there.
(Just kidding.)