Because I managed to wait until I was on my last clean pair to do laundry, last night while folding said laundry I was exposed to the full array of junk in my underwear drawer. Some things fall in the drawer from on top of the dresser (fall between the cracks, one might say) other are put there intentionally.
Among other assorted oddities, I found:
Sharpie marker (black)
Missing Zippo lighter
.38 cal revolver (locked)
loose .38 cal ammo
1 Belt
1 condom, expired (sigh)
2 jacket patches from my job
1 sock (thats where the bastard was hiding! worse than cats and dogs living together!)
1 highlighter pen
1 “C” battery (I have no electronic devices that use these)
Im not sure how I managed to fit any actual undergarments in this drawer.
Many years ago, I had a parakeet named Sam. He was a very tame, friendly bird, and I let him out of his cage often.
One morning, before work, I let Sam out, and half an hour later, when I was ready to leave, I looked around the apartment wondering where he could be. I had to go, but I worried about Sam all day.
Finally, later that evening, I heard some muffled chatter. The little fella had apparently crept into my undie drawer that morning when I was getting dressed, and had been stuck there all day.
I had to wash everything to get rid of the parakeet poop, but I was very glad that the bird was OK.
On the main forum screen this thread showed up as…
“What’s in your underwear”
Well my dangly bits of course.
I don’t have an underwear drawer I have an underwear box, and the underwear shares the box with the outerwear. So in my underwear box I have clothes
underwear (shorts on one side, t-shirts on the other)
a Speedo swimsuit :eek: (Don’t try for the visual…your brain will melt!)
a patch kit for the Airbed
spare buttons on a card for a suit I owned 15 years ago
The Happy Marriage Fun Kit, nice and discretely packed in a yellow nylon case
ps. If you pack the HMFK in your carry-on luggage, the airport screeners will take their time passing it through the scanner.
Underwear-all varieties. I actually have two underwear drawers: one drawer for fancy, not-really-functional underwear, cheeful, novelty undies, and items like the seldom used camisole or slip, and one drawer for everyday, working undies in three colors. Beige, white, and black.
Stonebow has legos, transformers, and GI Joe action figures in his underwear drawer, but you didn’t hear that from me.
My ass, and my… Oh – what’s in my underwear drawer!
Underwear, of course. Your standard bras and thongs.
A little bottle of K-Y.
A bottle of eucalyptus/ spearmint massage oil.
The foot cream I rub into my heels every night before I go to bed.
Obviously my underwear drawer is right next to the bed.
Re: singlets and vests. At my house we call them wife-beaters. Stupid, but that’s what my son called them and he’s the only one here who wears them (wore them actually – he no longer lives at home). Also, to us “singlet” means the one-piece spandex dealie Nick wore when he was on the high school wrestling team. Sort of like the wife-beater with attached bicycle shorts and made out of spandex. Like these. I always called them ‘wrestling panties,’ but that was just to mess with Nick – they are really singlets.
And, wenonahbone? Why on earth do you have three glow-in-the-dark cock rings? Surely one glow-in-the-dark cock ring is enough for anyone? Did they come in a three-pack or something? Maybe you need to arrange a swap with 3 friends who’ve also bought 3-packs of cock rings. Then you could each have one glow-in-the-dark cock ring, one leopard-print cock ring, and one glen plaid cock ring. Much more sensible.
Underwear, no random socks as I have a basket for them which acts as a dating agency. Every month or so when it gets full, my husband sits down and performs “sock weddings” as he calls it… Anyway, beyond underwear nothing except my own, my lovely, very necessary cuddly jumpers - red and blue. My friends since I was one.
