What is WRONG with these people????

In My Humble Opinion
21

Thank you! And that was exactly my point. The dad and the kid nap until??? and then the brat is up bouncing off of the walls until all hours of the night (and even into the early hours at times, as in 2am until 5am on occasion). Poor planning WRT scheduling a baby’s naps is very poor parenting. Never taking a very energetic child outside to play is very poor parenting. Particularly since this guy doesn’t work. He’s got all the time in the world to do this right. And that’s supposed to be the whole point of having a SAHP in the first place, that is, that the parent who is staying hom is engaged and involved and raising the child correctly.

I’ve raised my kids, and I don’t have the obligation to suffer the results of someone else’s bad parenting habits. RE: abusive? Based on the noise, he’s just grouchy and yells a lot. I’ve never heard anything remotely resembling physical abuse, it’s just grumpy obscenities (and I’m pretty sure they’re church goers…ha! they’re always off at church time on Sunday mornings), and I’ve never heard anything other than typical spoiled brat crying from the kid and that fairly rarely. It’s mostly the screaming and stomping and constant banging things around. The screaming I mention is the sort that kids, who aren’t taught any better, indulge in. That is, just screaming for screaming’s sake. And really, it’s not that the kid is a brat, it’s that he has crappy disengaged parents. The apartment complex has absolutely GORGEOUS yard areas in the middle of each set of 4 buildings. They’re huge and really well landscaped and pretty, lots of grass, trees, they’re really like little miniature parks. In addition, our complex backs a lovely creek and set of trails. The man doesn’t have a job, or rather his job is as the primary caregiver, he needs to be DOING that care-giving. But he stays inside all day, and watches TV and lets the kid run rampant.

Regarding the construction of the building, yeah, like most apartment complexes, it’s not fantastic. My condo in Anchorage has some of the same issues. But as I explained, I’ve lived in apartments or my condo all of my adult life, I’m not unaccustomed to NORMAL apartment noise. And I have three other neighbors on my level, and all of them have said they don’t hear their upstairs neighbors except a rare object falling, some vacuuming, maybe the dishwasher and things like that. And my upstairs neighbors’ middle-of-the-night toddler episodes are loud enough to actually have disturbed neighbors both over their apartment and to the side of them, I heard a few of them out on the landing complaining about it one evening. I mean, when you’re loud enough that people ABOVE you can hear it? Sheesh.

22

:smiley:

Yes, but then that would bother the other innocent tenants.

23

You could play tit-for-tat all you wanted if the “elephants” were all adults; but since there is a little child involved, and I get the feeling the child is being borderline abused, I think a call to CPS is in order.

I dont know how the CPS works, but I believe it will protect your anonymity and probe the child’s environment without the caller providing proof.

BTW, are your apartment walls made of paper? :smiley:

24

I’m not a he. :slight_smile: And I’ve raised kids, so of course I don’t expect them to be perfectly silent. I raised them in apartments too and neither my kids, nor any that I’ve seen (even my crazy energetic granddaughter) has exhibited the sheer CRAZY over-energetic state of this kid. I can’t adequately describe what happens up there in plain text. A person would have to be here to hear for themselves. This isn’t “OMG a kid is making noise” it’s “this is over the top NOT normal noise that could be taken care of with proper parenting”. Not to mention, the kid isn’t the only one making so much noise.

I’ve also explained that I’ve lived in apartments or the equivalent all of my life and do know what normal “crappy construction apartment noise” is about. My next door neighbor, who’s a real sweetie pie, has his computer on pretty loud at different times during the day. This is NOT the same thing. What is happening up there sounds like WWIII, it sounds like what Ferret Herder describes, it does sound as if they’re jumping off of things, it also sounds at times, as if someone has a hammer and is banging the walls and floors (in addition to the stomping), and there is a lot of dragging heavy furniture around (who needs to rearrange furniture 3 times a day?). Several times during the evening it’s as if something big and heavy just CRASHES to the floor. I mean of the decibel level that you think whatever it is is about to come THROUGH the floor.

And as someone else mentioned, no, I do not come home and run my bathtub every night just to wake the kid and stand there and gloat…geez. Yes** MrsWhatsit**, it did make me glad the the toddler and dad woke up, not because I want to punish the child (though yes, I mention revenge on the horrid dad, and what normal human doesn’t feel the need for justice when things like this occur?), but primarily because I have, after 6 months of this crap, reached my limit on having to listen to the overwhelming noise all night long. Every single night when I get home from work it goes on for hours.

So yes, I will on occasion use the only tool available to me to get some peace and quiet, plus I still haven’t gotten used to the heat here, so a bath after work is often necessary. At any rate, despite your experiences with kids’ nap times, for this one, it’s a given, if the kid wakes up when I get home from work, his bedtime does occur earlier in the evening. On the nights that I have the audacity to take a bath after work, and consequently wake them, the kid doesn’t stay up until the wee hours. Based on the audible series of events following the exclamation from the dad, he doesn’t seem to be directing the “DAMNIT” at the kid, (who immediately launches into cat night crazies-like insanity of running about the living room almost before the dad’s words are out of his mouth), but at the fact that he now has to wake up, and probably at my bathtub for being the cause of that 'Having to wake up".

Also, just to clarify and set your mind at ease somewhat, while the stomping and noise is constant, the yelling isn’t. When I said “yells obscenities” that part wasn’t to be included in the “constant” part, only the noise. I don’t know, but it’s possible that the “dead MFr” may have been directed at a video game or sports show. I hadn’t though of that until someone here mentioned it here, so it’s conceivable that the swearing is just occurring when the kid is there because that’s when the lazy jerk is playing video games, or maybe watching sports.

When I see them outside, the dad appears physically attuned to the kid, he’s holding him with the kid asleep on his shoulder when they get back from a car trip and he took him to the apartment summer pool party, so again he’s probably just a loud obnoxious jerk and while foul-mouthed, not abusive.

25

This is the sort of thing, as a grandma, that I’d be more than happy to do, but frankly as others have intimated, at this point I’m rather afraid of the obnoxious dad. I’ll just keep my distance.

26

It sounds to me like you never leave the house either. Maybe getting away from your apartment more often will make things easier to live with?

27

:slight_smile:

I do and don’t. Except for right now, due to the gov’t shutdown, I work all day. My job is very enjoyable and social. Other than work, I go to Spanish class one week night a week, and to the gym other nights. But you’re right, I am a bit of a homebody and do (or used to) enjoy just chilling at home playing video games (sans swearing :D), watching TV and swimming in the complex pool (til they shut it down for the winter). On weekends, I usually go shopping and explore a little (I’m terrible at navigation, so I make myself go a little further each time without using the GPS). I swear, I’ve been to Spanish class 4 weeks running now, and even WITH the GPS I’ve been there and back home 8 different ways, and NOT on purpose either. Though with no pay coming in for ??? thanks to the shutdown, that will be curtailed for a while.

I’ve only been here pushing 6 months and I don’t know anyone in this area, so I don’t do a lot of social stuff except at work. Other posters are right, it could be worse, I could get some rapper drug dealer up there. But when things that sound like antique solid wood dressers are crashing onto my ceiling 5 times a night, it’s hard to imagine worse, or rather noisier, neighbors. The sad thing is, the area and complex as a whole is very quiet. I just happened to end up living under the fly in the ointment. I’ve been working up my nerve to go check out a local dance / nightclub that has dance lessons. I’ll have to make that more of a priority and escape the nuisance for a few hours.

28

Meh. The sounds you describe sound exactly like the sounds I hear when I’m in our basement guest room. There’s no insulation between the basement and the main floor, so whenever anyone scoots a chair back from a table or even just walks normally, it sounds like horrific thudding, furniture hitting the floor, bowling balls, etc. We always warn guests who have to stay down there that it will be loud once people are awake in the house.

The family upstairs from you has a rowdy kid. Get yourself a pair of noise-canceling headphones and chill out. And stop waking up babies just because you’re feeling cranky.

29

Have you considered a box fan, at least for when you’re sleeping? Those suckers are loud and I have found them to be pretty good at masking apartment noise when I’m asleep. They do take a few nights of getting used to, but after a while you don’t really hear the hum of it, only a shhhh noise. Now I can’t even sleep without one. It won’t help during the day but a girl needs her sleep.

30

Oh yeah, this is a great idea. Our last long-term houseguest used a box fan to mask noise in the basement and said it worked like a charm. I forgot until Alice mentioned it.

31

Well, the one good thing is that I have always slept with earplugs, so they don’t bother me when I’m actually sleeping. Also, it’s funny you should mention it, when it gets really bad, I turn on the bathroom fan and over the stove fan, they do help drown it out a little bit.

It’s just the messing with normal peace and quiet when I’m just sitting there trying to read and relax or something that bothers me, thank goodness it’s not actual sleep time. I think I would grab an Uzi and climb the clocktower if it were (kidding!). On weekends, I do like to stay up late and play online games such as Guild Wars 2, so having to be subject to WWIII, and stomping screaming toddlers at 2am is a bit much. And hearing large objects fall over with huge crashing noises makes me about jump out of my skin!

** Mrs. Whatsit**, I’m not in the habit of lying or embellishing the facts. I’ve explained several times that I’ve a lifetime of living in apartments and am VERY accustomed to normal apartment noise from badly constructed buildings, this is NOT the same thing. It is what ** Ferret Herder** described, very much above and beyond regular living noise. I’ve also explained that the other three neighbors on my level do not hear the same kinds of noise from their upstairs neighbors. Do you think that the builders constructed my quarter of the first floor differently than the other three? And prior to you even instructing me I explained that of COURSE I don’t come home every night and turn on my bathtub just to run it. But if I am melting down when I get off of work, I’m going to take a bath. It’s not “cranky” to expect a reasonable amount of noise from your neighbors.

To all, an update. I did go complain to the management again, and it turns out, based on what the leasing agent said, that Mr. Elephant lied on his lease regarding the number of people living in his apartment. So they will get a letter and direction to correct that, which may in turn lead to them either cooling it a little or maybe even moving out.

32

Your other neighbors don’t have a rambunctious kid living over them.

I sympathize with the noise issue, honestly. I just think your idea to solve it by ruining a toddler’s nap and pissing off his already-irritable dad is poor and will probably lead to the dad taking out his frustration on the kid.

Also, I’ve lived in my share of shitty apartments and am familiar with the noise problems in them. I’m sure the neighbors upstairs are loud and annoying, and I’m equally sure they haven’t installed a diving board or bowling alley up there. They have a rambunctious kid. He runs around. It’s loud. His parent should take him outside but he doesn’t. That’s pretty much it. I mean, for all your hyperbole, you surely don’t think they are actually breaking furniture up there. Come on.

(It’s MsWhatsit, btw.)

33

Understood. Loud, angry neighbors are something I’m familiar with.

34

Ooops!!! Ms.Whatsit…

I don’t know why I kept seeing that as Mrs. Whatsit? I think I’ve done that before too, other than this thread. yikes. My brain insists upon Mrs. Whatsit (that was the character’s name right?).

At any rate, thank you for your empathy/sympathy. No, I don’t think they’re breaking anything. I honestly don’t know what they are doing up there, but they’re not normal living noises. And please be respectful, my descriptions are not hyperbole. What I’ve described is what it sounds like, and as I’ve said, what **Ferret Herder ** described.

I’m not stupid and can certainly ascertain and describe the difference between normal “crappy apartment construction” noise and something that goes well beyond that. This is the latter.

35

If your taking a bath in your apartment is too much for the poor toddler to handle, I guess his parents should just move someplace quieter. :slight_smile:

36

Yeah, OK. I’ll just reiterate that my problem isn’t with the OP taking baths, which I think anyone who has read any of my posts in this thread should be able to figure out. It’s with her deliberately doing something she knows will wake the toddler up specifically for the purpose of waking the toddler up, with the main motive of pissing off the toddler’s dad. I don’t think this is acceptable or defensible behavior, even if you do have neighbors who are making “abnormal living noises,” whatever that is.

I really hate loud neighbors. Really. I have called the police on loud neighbors before. I have felt the rage of hearing someone having a loud party next door at 3 am and not being able to sleep. But I also know that there’s a little kid involved in the OP’s situation, the kid is in a bad living situation through absolutely no fault of his own, and the OP’s actions are probably making his living situation worse. I think that’s pretty shitty.

37

If you’re out at work every day, how do you know they don’t take regular trips to the park while you’re gone?

38

Well they haven’t the times I’ve worked from home (I prefer going to the office, but sometimes have to work from home due to apartment repairs etc.), and now that I’m out of work for this gov’t shutdown they certainly haven’t. They’ve been inside two days solid but for a quick car trip (maybe 15 or 20 minutes…if that) around noon today. They didn’t the 8 days my mom and sister were here to visit me about a month ago. But for the sake of argument, maybe they just coincidentally never leave the apartment the days I happen to be home between 8-4. If that were the case, the child shouldn’t still be running full-bore from 4pm to 10, 11, 12pm.

But now that I’ve sat here for two days, and listened to the poor kid have to get his only exercise in a miniscule apartment, I’ve decided** Ms.Whatsit** is right, now I just feel terribly terribly sorry for the poor kid. (but am still just as annoyed at STOMPING Mr. Elephant).

39

OP, I don’t like apartments and condos because of people like you.

40

Okay…? Because of what specifically? People who complain when you make too much noise? Not being snarky, I’m honestly curious.