Noisy Neighbor: Bad Parent

I only moved into this large apartment building in April, after 5.5 years in a rental townhouse complex and having had my own house for 11 years before that.

I know there are noise issues in such places. I don’t sweat it when the downstairs neighbors practice their piano and tuba in the middle of the afternoon or the evening. I expect such things.

I complained about the previous residents of the apartment on the end, roughly 15 feet from my front door, only because they decided to move out in the dead of the night, over the course of three week nights, from 1am to about 3am each night. That was really obnoxious.

I called the police about two weeks ago for the first time because two women were standing in the back parking lot at roughly midnight, being very loud, with three toddler children who kept screaming and jamming on mommy’s car horn because they were bored and wanted to go. I had first stepped out on my deck, and the same time as the Indian couple downstairs, and heard someone down the way telling them to shut up. They ignored that person. After about another 10 minutes of it, I politely asked (not especially loudly, and I did say “please”) if they could keep it down, because some of us had to work in the morning. Their response was to scream at their kids, which was kinda counter productive.

They left about 5 minutes after I called the cops, long before they arrived, so I called and cancelled the complaint.
But the replacement neighbors in that apartment 15 feet away take the cake.

Back in mid-July, their roughly 9 year old daughter started running the halls late at night with a similar aged friend, screaming and yelling. Almost every night, from about 10:15 (when daddy left for work) until about midnight.

One night, they were leaning against my front door, occasionally absent mindedly banging on it (I don’t believe intentional) about 11:30pm. I got out of bed, got dressed and was just walking up to the door when mommy came out and started screaming at them. Yup, that helps.

Things got worse, with constant running up and down the halls and the stair well that is directly adjacent to my bedroom, yelling down the halls and screaming at the top of their lungs. NON STOP from about 10:15 to midnight every motherfucking night.

Finally, at 11:55pm on a Sunday night, I stepped out into the hall, standing directly in front of my door. Sure enough, only 10 seconds later the girls came charging up the stairs. I let them have it verbally, swearing a blue streak but being careful not to scream and disturb the neighbors. I told them that this shit ended right there, that I was going to talk to the office about them (didn’t intend to, never did) and that if they did this again, I would call the cops (bluff).

They were good for about a month and all was well. They were also absolutely terrified of me, turning and walking away from me when they saw me in the halls. Hey, no problem, I pose no danger to you, but I’m happy if it scares you into behaving like a civilized person.

Then it started up again, very slowly at first, and without all the yelling. But never so bad until the last week.

Last night, it was a constant revolving door from about 10:30pm on. Now, before 11pm, there’s really no issue even if I am trying to sleep, because of noise ordinances, so I can’t really complain about that time other than to mention when it started. But for that time, they were charging in and out of that apartment, slamming the door about every third time, screaming as they entered or exited the apartment about half the time. Every 2-3 minutes.

At 11:25pm, I got dressed and stood in front of my door again. It took about 30 seconds before the little girl threw open her door and started screaming back into the apartment to someone. Then she turned and saw me. She slammed her door shut, then opened it a crack to look at me and called her mother. I informed her, very quietly, that the halls were not her personal playground and that she was going to stop running up and down the halls at this time of night RIGHT NOW. There were a few profanities in there somewhere.

Then I walked back into my apartment. Seconds later I hear her mother screaming at her, and screaming about what happened. She walks out in the hall and screams “I’m going to find out what the fuck this is all about”. So I step back into the hall. Mom’s eyes go wide and her demeanor changes. I’m not overly large (5’11", 240), but I worked a variety of tough Security jobs for a while and I can cut an imposing figure without saying a word or even trying to look mean.

Mom introduced herself politely and then asks that I stop ‘cussing’ her child. I laughed inwardly, having just heard her swearing up a storm at the kid. She asked me what the problem was. I told her about the long term behavior and said that her child had no business running the complex at that time of night. She claimed that she had only just now gotten home and had NO IDEA that any such thing was going on. I said nothing, but both statements are false.

I went back to bed. Over the next 15 minutes, I counted their front door closing 14 times (loud enough to hear from my bed). Finally, at 11:45pm there was a very slow and deliberate STOMP STOMP STOMP up the stairs and a very loud slam of their front door. Then nothing more.

Today I came home during my lunch hour and spoke to the office about it. In all honesty, I don’t expect they’ll do a damned thing. They told me that no one else had complained. They said they’d talk to the mother about it.

Now seriously, it’s one thing to be charging in and out of an apartment every couple of minutes, slamming the door every now and then, yelling up and down the halls at 11-12pm every night. That alone would be obnoxious and complaint worthy.

But who the fuck allows their 9-10 year old child to do this, night after night?
Oh, and it’s 10:16pm as I finish this and it’s pretty much sounding like business as usual tonight.

Your situation sucks but I am really worried about those kids. Their mother sounds like hell on wheels. Is moving an option for you? This sounds intolerable.

One piece of advice right off the bat – don’t say anything right to the kids. Deal with the parents only. Walk right by the kids. You don’t want to be accused of threatening any children.

Unless you’re going to move out, the only way to deal with something like this is to basically be a dick about it. Keep complaining to the office. Be a squeaky wheel. And don’t be afraid to call the police. Tell the office you’re going to start calling the police, and tell the mom too. You have to actually be willing to do it, though. You have to keep the pressure on the parents. This kind of shit won’t go away on its own, and as hard as it is to have to keep being a hardass about it, it’s either that or live with the noise all the time.

-Speaking from experience.

As someone who has lived in apartments for just over 30 years, this post is absolutely correct. Every single sentence of it.

Couldn’t agree more. Call the cops tonight. Again tomorrow. Again the day after. Keep complaining. Never let up.

Nothing else works.

Amazingly enough, all the running around came to an abrupt end at 10:30 on the dot last night.

But like I said, she was good for about a month last time, then it started again and slowly worked it’s way up to ‘intolerable’.

I’m considering e-mailing my local police department (since it’s a long story) and asking for ‘opinions and options’, focusing mainly on the idea that there is a 9-10 year old child running loose in the middle of the night, potentially without any parental oversight. It would be lovely if, when it inevitably starts up again, CPS were to pay a visit around 11pm to see if, in fact, there are any adults present in the apartment.

Moving is not an option.

I don’t know what state you are in, but according to most landlord/tenant statutes, you do have a right to enjoy your apartment in peace. There should also be something about such conduct in your lease.

I suggest you complain again to the manager (take them a videotape of the noise/activity if their excuse is yours is the only complaint - which shouldn’t matter) and give them a chance to handle it. Most apt. companies want good tenants and will get rid of the bad tenants. If they do not, or cannot, handle it, then tell them you’ll be calling the police about the noise and consulting a landlord/tenant lawyer in your jurisdiction about getting out of the lease. (Oops, just noticed that moving was not an option. Sorry, just call the cops, then.)

Good luck. I’ve been there and hated every single second of it. I complained when necessary, but my situation was for only 3 months so I mostly just sucked it up.

IAAL but I am not your lawyer or anyone else’s. I do not know what state you’re in but chances are excellent that I am not licensed to practice there. This is not legal advice. It’s just common sense advice from an anonymous poster on a public message board. If you want legal advice, hire a lawyer in your jurisdiction.

I’m not sure why you think this is especially relevant. Around here, it’s legal to leave 8 year olds at home alone. I imagine it’s similar wherever you are.

depends on the police where you live. I did this and they ended up filing charges against me!

I think it depends on where you live. I’m pretty sure that in Florida, your kids have to be 13 to be left alone.

Man these kids must be a joy in school, too. With the typical 8-9 am start for elementary school, they would be lucky to get seven hours of sleep a night going to bed at midnight. Bet they are well-rested and ready to learn in the morning!

You really shouldn’t swear in a situation like that, though, especially at the kids. You don’t want to budge from the moral high ground.

http://www.co.dakota.mn.us/Departments/Attorney/FAQ/WhatAgeChildLeftHomeAloneHowLong.htm

But there’s a difference between “being left alone” and “running around a 200 apartment complex at midnight with no adults present”.

IANAP and I don’t work for CPS, but yeah, I don’t really see how letting your kids have run around and scream in the hallways is neglect, even if it is at night. It’s rude to the neighbors, and it may be a lease violation, but neglect? Either way I think you’ll get results faster if you treat this as a noise/shitty-neighbor problem, and not pretend that you’re worried about the kids you were just cussing out.

I really hope someone who does know will come in and shed light on this. Would it be considered neglect if the kids were instead running around late at night in the neighborhood their house is located in? Are common areas of apartment buildings considered to be part of a “house” or is only the apartment itself? Or does being old enough to be left alone mean the kid can roam anywhere?

Hey, they’re probably nice and quiet (except for the snoring) before noon. Unless they guzzle energy drinks. Which might be the whole problem here.

One word: Caltrops.

Yeah yea, then they search my apartment and find the bows, swords and medieval mace and say “aha, you’re just the guy who would use caltrops!”

How does that work?
They left 5 mins after you called the cops. Check
Long before the cops arrived. Check
So you called (the cops?) and cancelled the complaint…after the cops had already arrived?