Heh. Way back, when I was just a little maru, I was terrified of Platypuses. I was deathly afraid that one would sneak into my room while I was asleep and stab me with their poisionous wrist spurs. I don’t mean, “You know it would be scary if a platypus snuck in here.” I mean “I must stay up and watch the line of light under a door, or the PLATYPUS OF DEATH will get in and kill me in my sleep! AUUUGGH!!”
I never really worked out how this savage attack platypus would get to New England. Charter flight? Black UN submarine? Secret austrailian ninja teleportation? I’m still unsure. To say nothing of why.
A spectacularly stupid thing to be afraid of, but that never made me less scared . . .
Tame rats or ferrets are pretty cool. They’re fun because they like to climb all over you, and try to hide in your hair. Crows have style and that “You may have the capacity to reason and thumbs, but after you die, I’m gonna eat your eyeballs” attitiude. And spider monkeys have those neat giant forearms and do those cool jumping tricks. Snakes and salamanders have that whole freudian thing going for them.
Gonna have to go with cougars, though. I like cougars. They look almost small enough to be some kind of pet, have that kinda scary but almost sexy cat walk, and look just wild enough so that they might bite you for no good reason, or curl up next to you if they’re in the mood. I like that combo, for some reason. They occasionally maul joggers. And who hasn’t thought of that?
A close second is those amazon salamanders who get normal salamanders to mate with them, but reproduce on thier own, thus stopping the males from mating with the fertile females of their own speices, and taking over the area. Any vertibrate that can out-wierd my subconcious is worthy of respect, if nothing else. This is basically a Cinemax late night movie, except with less muscle tone, tattoos, and hair. And smaller, of course. I can dig it.
I don’t like them, but scorpians shoud get some kind of credit for being the most alien looking land creature. Sure, platypuses and potato bus look mixed up and demonic, respectivly, but scorps look like something that crawled out of Armstrong’s skull three months after the moon
landing.
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