The Magic Bullet commercial is so completely insane that it’s brilliant - it’s like if Luis Bunuel or Jean-Luc Godard directed an informercial for a blender. Why are these people here in some sort of rented timeshare environment? Why is the one guy named “Bourbon” (seriously, I’ve seen it 50 times and they’re definitely addressing him “Bourbon”) obviously hungover and bitter? Why does Bourbon scream, “I HATE Broccoli!” What’s up with “Gladys,” the weird old Jewish lady that’s obviously a younger actress made up to look like an old jewish lady that appears halfway through with an obviously fake cigarette in her mouth!? What’s UP with the fact that shipping is $39.99 for the Magic Bullet? You could ship a refrigerator for that much!
My guaranteed blank stare is “make money selling real estate without USING YOUR OWN MONEY”…just by sending $x amount of dollars, we will send you this free idea on how to make TONS AND TONS of money selling real estate…I always try to find a slip in the conversation that tells you they are only selling the idea, not the way.
I love the Miracle Blade infomercial, but I love the Ronco knife infomerical more, because they had the balls to basiucally do the exact same infomercial, practically word for word, but with their own products. Which actually do look a little better than the Miracle Blade (not that that’s saying a lot…)
I think that’s the one where Miss Trailer Trash bellows, “Hi! Remember me? From national television?”
Each time, I say, “Why no, I don’t remember you.”
Oh, I love that little thing that makes half moon shaped food–you know, it’s that stout little woman who folds/pours/tucks food into the two half-moon compartments, then puts down the lid and in a few minutes she has asparagus wrapped in steak, angelfood cakes, muffins, etc–ALL SHAPED LIKE FLUFFY HALF MOONS! I want that sooooo bad. (Of course, I can never remember the name of it.) It even comes with it’s own special half moon spatula!!!
My favorite was the convertible dress. One dress you can wear hundreds of ways!. Hike it up and it’s a miniskirt! Pull it down and it’s a long skirt! Wear it backwards and it has a different neckline!
Those Magic Bullet ads always freaked me out a bit. Who are these people? Why do they own four Magic Bullets? Why do they keep several hundred dollars’ worth of chopped produce on their kitchen counter? Why the hell does that one woman smoke at the table while people are eating breakfast?
And yet… Must watch…
Huh. I think I actually have one of those. My parents gave it to me after they got sick of it. Don’t use it much.
Basically, it takes whatever you put into it and makes it into a weird-shaped grilled cheese sandwich. Sure, it might taste like something else, depending on what you put into it, but it’s basically a grilled cheese sandwich.
After a while, the novelty wears off…
I’ve got one. It works as promised for frying omelettes. (No flipping required! Just turn over the closed pan!)
The ones advertising the work of Joe Francis. The man has a vision.
That’s Tana Goertz, who was a contestant on The Apprentice and almost got fired by Donald Trump because she wasted too much time trying to find (you guessed it!) a Bedazzler.