If I can count somewhere I go 15 or so times a year, the ballpark.
My third place is out and about with my wife. We could be traveling or vacationing, or just running errands. We enjoy doing things together. We don’t go to places to interact with people we don’t know, but we enjoy just being alone together or we also enjoy randomly meeting people and having good conversations.
Thanks for the reminder — last week we were traveling at the Columbia River Gorge. After a few hours at a museum we stopped in at the Skamania Lodge to enjoy a drink and take in the view. On our way out we met two other couples enjoying wine in the lounge. They invited us to join them and we sat for an hour enjoying wine and good conversation and laughs. I have their business cards in my wallet and I’ve been meaning to follow up. One of them will be coming to our area next month and we hope to meet up again.
We enjoy the random, serendipitous meeting of new people. It happens from time to time, but mostly we just like being alone together.
Church.
TSD definitely. Actually my second place since I am retired.
I think that’s what’s missing in my life now. I used to have a third place but a bunch of little reasons have combined to funnel me down to just work and home. I have a much more enjoyable home than I did when I had a third place but it’s not the same.
My neighborhood. I live in a very walkable neighborhood in Chicago, and I spend much of my free time just walking in the shopping districts, parks, trails, the lakefront, etc. It is truly a home away from home. It doesn’t matter that I own a tiny condo; I live in my entire neighborhood.
The section of the road where I walk the dog.
It’s public except for the neighbor’s field (we have permission). Sometimes there is conversation with neighbors who are out, but it could be limited to weather talk. And since this is an area where everyone waves at each other there is some interaction with strangers.
Now, not much. In college, my third place was the coffee shop. In my twenties, my third place was a local bar where I was living (I was in there at least three times a week.) Now, settled in my forties, married with a couple of kids, I don’t really have three spaces. Most of my work is done from home; and the closest I have to a third space is a bar, but one that I only get to once every couple of months, if that. If you want to call the SDMB a “third place,” sure, that fits. That’s pretty much the majority of my social interactions these days. Not that I mind; it’s just different.
My place is online poker WSOP.
Is it still my Third Place if I don’t work, or does my Third Place become my Second Place?
Which is interesting because in our forties when the kids were both around and more so some still younger the third spaces were often revolving around them, activities with other parents that backed up our children. But the kids are all out of the house now (not past needing back up but not the same sort). And we are often both busy with work. Back in college days there was a rotating list of them from vending rooms with tables you could casually study at, to coffee shops, to bars, the even the exercise facilities and the laundromats. Now?
My wife has a few coffee shops she hangs out at, does her paperwork for her therapy practice while sitting there, and always ends up getting distracted talking to someone. But probably fewer close friends than she had back when we were younger.
If we had the time and interest our temple serves that role for many of the community, but not really open to all of the public I guess…
I guess to some small degree the dog park is sort of like that. And when I rode along with the local cycling club that clearly served that function with a few regulars who welcomed a rotating group of people who they did not know and talked during rides.
But yeah I agree people more and more are using virtual spaces, like this one, for that function, than real world locations face to face.
I heard some show, forget where or when, that was talking about for men in particular (but I don’t think exclusively) the lack of spaces like that (they did not use the “third space” phrase though) is leading to fewer male friendships and greater amounts of loneliness.They are increasingly dependent on their partner and/or kids (if they have one) and work relationships for their social support, and when those hit rough patches (loss of job, loss of relationship) they are adrift. Forming new friendships is hard. I’ve had conversations with my adult sons about how much harder it is to develop new friendships once out of the school phase of life.
Yoga. I go to class 4 times per week and it feels like therapy to me. Even though I don’t really know the other people, it’s nice talking to them and hearing about the trials and tribulations of their lives.
I don’t really have a “Third Place.” Not that I don’t have any place; there are a handful of local businesses that I and/or my wife patronize frequently - a couple of coffe shop/wine bars, a divey tavern, a diner, a pizza place, etc.
If you were to somehow quantify the amount of time I spemd in each of these places, one of them would likely be the place I spend the third-most amount of my time. But none of them feels like it rises to the level of what I think you’re describing, which is a place with a so-called “home-away-from-home” feel.
even though I dont drink my hangouts are a dive bar and Dennys and here … in fact i received a free pitcher of sprite by people i did not know Friday because my initials are on the StarWars pinball game (I took first place on the han solo scoreboard)
Yeah. Weird to assume the third place would necessarily be a social one. I’m guessing the concept was formulated by an extrovert.
My third place is away from humans. Usually the forest.
Assuming my Third Place is still called my Third Place even though I don’t have a Second Place, I guess my Third Place is anywhere outside the confines of my apartment. People frequently strike up conversations with me–bus stops, train depots, store aisles, etc. Often, they go right from “Hello” to telling me their problems or life story. Today I was walking down the street, and a woman getting out of her car called hello. I’d never met her before in my life, but she walked up and started chatting.
I have no idea why this is. A friend says it’s because I have a friendly face, but it happens even when I’m wearing wraparound sunglasses. It no longer bothers me. In fact, I’ve come to feel fortunate. I guess people just need to talk.
Same here.
On some evenings my third place is literally The Third Place.
Is the book The Great Good Place by Ray Oldenburg? I have an amateur interest in urban stuff and related things.
I’m a huge fan of the concept, and it doesn’t necessarily require mingling for me as a nice coffee place would do. As it turns out, mine is a bike shop that is also a nice coffee place. In the non-winter I incorporate them into my bike-commute home two or three times a week.
I’d say that, like the guys on The Big Bang Theory, for a good stretch of my life my third place was the comic book store. Later, I’d say coffee shops took over the role. Since moving to Kentucky a few years back, none.