What I've learned about American every day life from tv and movies

Side shmide. The classroom door discussion is now the main thread. Never believe the header.

I’m just the opposite - it wasn’t until I was a teenager that I discovered that schools elsewhere were noisy, smelly firetraps full of mobs of students trying to navigate tight halls and staircases between classes. Real schools had covered walkways in the fresh air, and elbow room, and doors that could be opened to see sunlight.

American high school musical and choir departments all have a standing orchestra, consisting of at least 20 professional musicians, who know all the music to all the popular songs out there, without the need for silly things like rehearsals. They are available 24-7 to various members of the choir or musical department, on a whim’s notice.

Choirs, especially show choirs, have ready access to a wardrobe department and stylists, no matter how small and budget-restricted the rest of the school may be. Outfits are NEVER repeated, nor used again.

Because, according to TV and movies, there’s no weather in America, unless it’s important to the plot or unless it’s Christmas?

Yup, same here. As a matter of fact when I was a kid growing up in Southern California I was confused and amazed by a lot of stuff I saw on TV (in spite of the fact that many classic TV series were filmed 50 miles away from me). At first I didn’t recognize those buildings were schools.

Not only do the doors open to the outside, but there’s a row of windows that open too.

You post here, that makes you at least a little nerdish.

As for the bathrobe- sure a guy can wear one, but only if he does it like The Dude. Unless it’s paisly silk and you’re Hugh Hefner.

Hijack

Where in Canada is beer more expensive than America?

Beer in Vancouver is cheaper than it is in Seattle, and a beer in Montreal is half the price of what it is in Manhattan…

(I am talking about a beer in a bar, although a 6 pack to go also seemed pretty cheap to me)

No one in America was ever taught to down shift to slow a car in Driver’s Ed. American car brakes being notoriously unreliable, Americans are, of course, only taught to keep stomping on the brake pedal as they zoom out of control down a steep mountain road.

A large percentage of Americans on TV/movies are actually PLAYED by British or Australian actors pretending to be American!

I suspect he knows that.

oh. never mind!

Come to Ontario. I just bought a 12 pack of the cheap stuff (President’s Choice) yesterday for about $17. The price of name brand is about $24 for 12, or $44 for 24.

A normal name-brand pint in a pub runs about $7.

It’s not unusual for a typical American father to have a dark, bloody past that he has never mentioned. Sooner or later he will be called upon to perform incredible acts of violence, which he will complete as if he has been on a rigorous training program all the years he was supposedly retired.

The typical American office job revolves around a big presentation or convincing a wacky client that their idea is stupidly unworkable. Very few Americans have job duties that involve paperwork or sitting at a computer for hours.

For some reason, every employed American is expected to invite his or her boss over for dinner.

American homicide detectives have a 100% chance of solving a case.

All young African American girls sing beautifully.

It is extremely unlikely that an American doctor will refer a patient to a specialist.

When entering a crime scene, American detectives would be well advised to step carefully, so as to not trip over the large pile of clues thoughtfully left behind by the criminal.

If you are so lucky as to encounter a mystical fellow from an American minority culture, such as a Native American shaman, listen very carefully because whatever he says is going to come true. White Catholic priests and Protestant ministers in America are notoriously unreliable people, though.

It is illegal to conduct a class in a public school without a bespectacled white male with a university level vocabulary in attendence. Educators are strongly encouraged to ensure that they also have at least one obvious bully, a cheerleader in uniform, and an African American in the classroom at all times.

out of character:

I so freaking believed this as a kid. My first exposure to the concept: Mom’s soap operas.

Oh and it’s corollary:

Sexual reassignment surgery will turn a big hulking bruiser into a small curvaceous extremely feminine woman

Well, that and the palm trees in the background…

Any given bar or restaurant will have a hot girl (or guy ) sitting alone at a table, not waiting for anyone, and more than happy to have a random stranger sit down and ask for a date.

Of course. If you park far away in the parking structure, you’ll be creepily stalked on your way back to your car, either to be murdered by the perp or rescued by protagonist.

All heavy set African American girls sing beautifully. Thin light skinned black women are scientists, detectives, or sell soap during the commercials. Dark skinned black women spend their time yelling at black men.

All American weddings include specifically a drunk uncle who hits on/has hit on attractive female wife/daughter.

And if they are a comely woman, their underwear always falls down around their ankles at inopportune times!

Oh wait …I’m thinking of Art Frahm