Prior to the pandemic, a friend was dating a very nice woman. She seemed perfect in every way the three or four times we got together with them.
My friend confided in me that he didn’t think things were going to work out, because she was unemployed, yet didn’t seem to be looking very hard. He has an average job (a machinist) and he was obsessed about not supporting anyone unwilling to pull their weight. He broke up with her.
Turns out she doesn’t need to work, she’s totally financially secure.
I don’t know… I know quite a few architects, and it’s not the job you think it is. It is a creative job, and there are a lot of flavors- from people who are essentially interior designers, to people who are almost construction people. But it’s one that has fairly long hours, not nearly as much job security as you might think, and doesn’t pay awesomely.
Speaking as an IT guy who has a bunch of friends who are architects, I work the same or less, get paid more, and have been laid off about equally as much as my architect friends.
I think for me, the people I’d want to date, and the people who would want to date me, the big occupational qualification would be to have a job that shows that you’re intelligent, responsible and have some follow-through. That typically means a professional job (i.e. something you need a degree to have), and probably some experience in the industry or some solid reason for a mid-life career change.
I agree with all of this. I know several architects myself and work in IT.
However, I am talking about the perception of people in the general population.
Architects in the media are usually portrayed as comfortably middle class, and, like I say, it’s an interesting-sounding job.
Meanwhile, to most people, anything IT related sounds rather dull and, at least going back a few years, didn’t carry much connotation of money or status. Because, for every experienced software developer doing contract work in a niche role and earning $300k and up, there were at least a dozen entry-level positions barely earning a tenth of that.
And of course the old stereotypes of being socially stunted.
I think this perception has changed somewhat. Plus obviously if you say you’re Lead Data Engineer at Google, then that absolutely will connote money and status, plus people will be interested to hear more. But are we at the point where “software developer” in general would be a net positive on a dating profile? Debatable.
I dunno, sounds like it wasn’t a good match. If one of you doesn’t need to work, so chooses not to work, and the other really has to work, for not a very high wage, then you need a lot in common or amazing chemistry or something. Or your daily texts/what’s apps will be like constantly talking to someone who’s on vacation while you’re at work - fine for a couple of weeks, but long term, nah.
Yeah, I feel like “bitcoin / cybercurrency anything”, “influencer”, “hedge fund manager”, “startup founder”, “social media director” and a host of other quasi-technical / financial jobs are mostly BS for 90% of the people who claim to do them. They seemed designed to let people who already have some means of support to “build their brand” (whatever that means), look entrepreneurial and affect a certain lifestyle while giving the impression that there is some big payday on their horizon.
Going by rom-coms and TV-series I would vote for architect. Reality of course is different, but script writers seem to believe that this is an attractive job for a prospective partner, going by how often you see a character having this job compared to the actual statistics.
Of course the thread title is somewhat ambiguous: you seem to look for what is generally attractive on Tinder, but that is not what is best in reality (as several people pointed out).
Some links relevant to my post:
Everyone’s an architect: 11 jobs common only in romantic comedies
Protagonists of Romantic Comedies – And how most of them ended up as Architects
But as these articles also point out, rom-coms need not exactly match up with what actual partners nowadays prefer.
Interesting. And it makes me glad I ditched the journalism major my junior year.
I don’t know that I can offer any insight into ideal careers for potential partners…If he made about as much money as I do, that’d be fabulous. I don’t really care how as long as he’s not a cop or ex-military.
Thanks for that, very interesting.
I don’t think it was too ambiguous, but to be sure we’re clear: I am talking about what jobs people might find positive about a potential partner, not what is actually best for a relationship, and sure I agree that those two things are not the same.
Jobs I would favor: Electrician, Plumber, HVAC, Mechanic…any type of trade. I’m most comfortable around men who work with their hands. Artists, musicians, etc…all are appealing as well, as far as making quick judgements on career choices goes. I don’t care one way or another how much a guy is pulling in - if he is managing to pay his own way in life that is all that would matter to me.
Interestingly, when I was “a-courtin’” my now-wife, I was unemployed, and she was working in Mortgage Software (yawn).
Personality, quickness of mind, sense of humor were all SO much more important than looks or job.
(I mean, what would you think of a thread titled “What type of nose is best for potential partner?” Or “What type of car…”?)
philanthropist. It means you’re both rich and compassionate
I’d think they were strangely narrowly-focused.
Threads on Whether looks are important in a potential partner, Whether having a car at all and Whether earnings matter…sure, those could be interesting threads, they probably exist already.
I wonder if Photographer or Filmographer might be getting more popular.
Just because they are so desirable skills for the age demographic that makes up the majority of the dating pool. Uploading media is a big deal to a lot of young people.
I suspect they might get what I used to get on dating sites when I had my job up - people asking “how do you get into that job?” No preamble, just treating me like a job centre advisor and also, generally, assuming it’s an easy job to get into. “I can type! Gimme your job!”
After a while I changed my job title to “namer of clouds,” after something I’d once seen on a blue plaque in Bloomsbury. Someone is actually remembered for being a namer of clouds. It was very useful for filtering out people who are far too literal to ever be my friend, let alone anything else.
Also, it’s only just occurred to me that it does vaguely describe my job - I have to come up with ways of transcribing weird sounds like the ones Will Smith constantly makes in Fresh Prince of Bel Air. Naming clouds sorta fits for that.
Anyone who’s interested in someone purely for their job isn’t someone worth dating.
How do you get into that job?
Curious that “porn star” hasn’t been mentioned.
Heh.
I’d you’re being serious, it’s gotta be one of the worst to say IMO.
Of the female profiles on tinder, I’d say about half explicitly say "no ONS / NSA” or "no dick pics”.
(The other half make no mention of these things, just talk about hobbies or whatever).
Male porn star would, I assume, be a red flag.
And the one in a hundred profiles that want casual sex are normally with an asterisk. Eg “My husband would like to try three way…”. I guess these at least would be very interested in a porn star…
Meanwhile a female porn star looking to date men?
Well sure, she’d get lots of responses, but likely of men that had an expectation of casual sex. If her actual profile said “No ONS, I want a life partner” then I would expect she would get somewhat fewer responses than someone of the same physical attractiveness but who works as a HR consultant, say, would get.
Ummm…nooooo…I guess not 
Well to be honest, I thought it was a joke, but it gave me a jumping off point to start talking about tinder profiles.
In the UK, tinder has a reputation as being mostly for casual hook ups, but that seems pretty far from the reality.
Not a complaint…I’m way past the point of looking for quick fixes.