Well… me apparently. Three separate OTC tests all said positive so I’m assuming I’m pregnant. All the symptoms are there. I didn’t plan this and I’m still in shock really. I was told a long time ago by my gynecologist that I don’t ovulate. She referred me to a fertility specialist, but I never went because I was single at the time and kids were not in the picture.
Since then, in long term relationships and with much discussion, I’ve never used birth control and I’ve never been pregnant. I’ve done this for many, many years.
I accepted a long time ago that Mother Nature decided I shall remain childless and I adjusted my life accordingly. I had lots of travel plans and I had decided on a retirement date from my job.
Well my life took a sharp turn and my husband to be is thrilled, but I’m scared to death. Because of my age, I am at high risk for birth defects and complications to mine and babies health. This is not something I would’ve ever planned in a million years, but the more this sinks in I really want this baby and I’d give anything to have him/ her healthy.
Does anyone have any reassuring stories or advice for me? My partner says to relax and take things as they come, but I can’t. I’m just a big ball of scared and worried.
Just keep seeing your doctor and take their advice. Relaxing is good.
First of all, congratulations! It gives the rest of us with fertility issues so much hope!
Secondly, just relax, it’ll likely be fine. There is screening you can do to prepare yourself should there be anything wrong, and technology these days can help fix a lot of potential issues. Enjoy it!
My sister.
FWIW my mother was 45 when I was born.
No advice other than what was given up thread, but I had a great set of parents, I am sure that their somewhat advanced age contributed to that.
Good luck!
Congratulations! I know adults whose mothers were in their 40s when they were born. They are fine. My main advice is to avoid amniocentesis as there are other tests, such as AFP, which require only a regular blood draw and thus are less likely to cause a miscarriage and give much the same information.
I got pregnant of more than a decade of thinking I would never have children. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!
Thank you everybody. It’s nice to hear when people have been in your shoes and came out fine in the end. That’s what I need to hear.
I will definitely research pros/ cons of amniocentesis and AFP. Thanks Lee.
EmAnJ, I have no idea why suddenly I was able to conceive after 20+ years of nothing. The only thing that I can think of was I quit smoking for good 5 years ago. Being nicotine free may have helped and healed my body in more ways than I ever thought. Good luck to you.
Congratulations! What an adventure!
Life is full of surprises.
Which is why, unless doctors remove my reproductive organs, and show then to me on a platter, I’ll never believe the old “you can’t get pregnant without assistance” canard. Just ask my friend who, very much to her surprise, had a child less than a year after she gave birth to quadruplets conceived in-vitro.
Anyways, much congratulations. *Try *to relax and enjoy it.
If it is any consolation to you, there is no such thing as a worry-free age. I gave birth to my child almost ten years younger than what you are now. That was 4 years ago, and I am *still *a ball of nerves. It never ends. Ever. Welcome to motherhood. 
ETA: One of my best friends had a very healthy baby after 40. Her husband is in his 50s. They were both convinced they could not conceive.
Congrats crazy chick!!!
Don’t stress too much about the risk of complications. I’ve had three pregnancies as a type 2 diabetic, which is a condition that increases your risk of certain types of birth defects, and what I had to remind myself every time is that while the risk is increased, it is still overall very, very low and you will most likely have a totally healthy little bundle of joy.
Congratulations to you and your husband-to-be!
Congrats! My grandmother fell pregnant in her 40s with my mother, her only child after more than 10 years of unexplained infertility. Best of luck, relax and enjoy the ride.
It’s not limited to first-time pregnancies, but there’s a word in Spanish for “babies made when the mother thought she was too old to have more:” rebote or rebotico. “Ricochet baby,” the one that was born through sheer luck.
Other than the Big Bang and stuff from the same shelf, most things don’t get a name unless they happen often enough to merit one.
I know well over a score ricochet babies, whose mothers were well above your age, and every single one is fine.
I know a woman who had her two kids past age 40. Everybody is healthy and happy, no problems.
I used to work for another woman who had her first kid at 43. Everybody is healthy and happy, no problems.
While the risks are greater THE VAST MAJORITY OF CHILDREN BORN TO WOMEN OVER 40 ARE PERFECTLY FINE!. Remember that.
I’m a late baby myself - no Horrible Dire Problems.
Relax, the odds are still in your favor.
Ew.
Thanks for that visual, I have to go scrub my brain now…
No, seriously, that’s a very good point.
Another one chiming in to say that I had my first baby last October at age 41. We had a nuchal fold test done and the odds of a problem were low enough that we didn’t go for the amniocentesis. Our little boy is now a happy and healthy almost-1-year old. Congratulations and enjoy!
Yup, both my dad and my husband were the last-born to mothers over 40, and they were fine as well.
I too was told I couldn’t conceive by my gynecologist when I was married and my husband and I had tried for several years to have a baby.
Ten years later at 36 I had Isabella! I assumed it was because I’d been on Atkins for about a year and my health was improved and my periods, while still not regular, came at least every few months. I had also quit smoking a year before. Maybe it did have an effect as well.
My grandmother didn’t marry until she was about 40. This was not quite 100 years ago, mind. Everybody said, well, she’ll NEVER have any children. My father was born a year later. Well, she’ll certainly never have another, was the common refrain. She had two more. All were fine (except for my aunt, who is a religious fanatic, but that may be just coincidence). My dad lived to be over 90, and his fanatical sister is still with us.
Congratulations on the Switac-ling! Go treat yourself to a massage or something and relax. You’re gonna be a mother!