I said to her, " You’re lucky you’re not retarded."
“I Know.”
(That exchange happened on the first day of school in 9th grade.)
She married and has nine kids now.
Another lady I know has a sister who found out 18 years after her last child she was pregnant at 45. Everything was fine.
AND, the final story.
My other childhood best friend’s grandma had three children. One when she was 15. One at 30 and one at 45. All with the same husband. The one when she was 45 was my friends Dad. Everyone turned out fine.
I read a story about a pioneer woman on a wagon train, middle aged, with a young son who was described as “the late and surprising fruit of marital duty” :).
I worked for years with a woman who was childless, who assumed after 25 years of marriage that she was infertile. She and her husband lived the child-free life, travelling all over, dining out a lot, and they had several beloved child-surrogate dogs. Much to her astonishment she became pregnant at age 43 and they became doting parents (though they had to make a huge lifestyle/mind adjustment) of a baby girl. Even more astonishing - she became pregnant AGAIN at age 45 :eek: and had a baby boy. Far as I can tell, they rolled with it, figured it was God’s plan, and seemed to become a normal happy family.
Good luck to you, dear, and congratulations - take one day at a time, you’ll be fine. (I was an “elderly primapura” myself and I’ve lived to tell the tale.)
Thank you all for your reassuring words. I’ve feeling much calmer about things today after reading your posts. Dopers truly are the best!
I was feeling like such an oddity yesterday, but this is typical of my life. I always do things backwards or in a strange way.
As my girlfriends send their kids off to college or become grandparents for the first time, I will be researching preschools or potty training. LOL!
WOOT WOOT WOOT! Congratulations on your wonderful surprise. Now haul yourself off to the OB ASAP and let us know how far along you are, so we’ll know how long a wait we are all in for.
Congratulations on you pregnancy My parents were on the older side when they had me and my brother, and I have never felt it was a disadvantage or a problem.
This is not exactly true, the AFP and other similar tests (nuchal fold thickness, triple and quadruple tests) can only give a likelihood of Downs syndrome, whereas in most cases amniocentesis can give definitive confirmation. However, given the small but not insignificant risk of amnio, I think it’s important to think over very carefully.
If you and your husband to be feel you would definitely or very likely carry and raise the child anyway, then testing may be best avoided. If after honest discussion and careful thought you feel you couldn’t possibly do that and would definitely want to terminate the pregnancy, then you may need to consider having an amnio.
Just wanted to add my best wishes—Sometimes life takes unexpected turns, but I am sure you and your husband are in for some of the best times of your lives…
Congratulations! It took us 4 years (and 4 IVFs) to conceive my son, so I was a basket case during the pregnancy. I remember my OB laughing at me for some of the things I was scared of. Everything turned out OK.
Nowadays it seems pretty common to have an ultrasound at around 8 weeks (=6 weeks from conception), which I found very reassuring. If you can’t wait until then, you can ask your OB for a blood test to check your actual pregnancy hormone (hCG) levels.
I relaxed a lot more as the pregnancy went on and everything was fine. So hang in there!
Congratulations on your pregnancy. Remember that although you are at “higher risk” for lots of things, that risk is still TINY. The most likely outcome from a successful pregnancy at your age is a healthy baby. There are lots of support groups and online help for you if you want. Lots of older pregnant women are terrified, and having someone to talk to can be a big help. For the record, when I had my last kid (12 years ago), the lady in the room next to me was 48, and had a healthy, vigorous baby girl with NO issues. Apgars of 9 and 10, which was better than my son.
My mom was 40 when my folks had me on purpose. She liked to tease me that I could have turned out defective or brilliant and she wasn’t sure which it turned out to be
We have a late surprise child. While in a home stay in Germany on a trip with a youth orchestra, we discovered with our German speaking hosts that “oops” means the same in both languages. We had a 14 year age spread, 20 to 6 at the time and they had children who were 23, 21 and 5.
It sounds like your baby will be blessed with active, involved parents who will learn what they need to know as they go, just like the rest of us.
My former boss, after years of infertility, had her son at the ripe young age of 53. He’s perfect, and she seems at least a decade younger than she did before she got pregnant.
My mom had my youngest brother at 40, and he’s the smartest (by a little) and kindest (by far) of the three of us. Dad was 49, so have no fear!
You’re so much better off financially that you’ll be able to give them all they could want in terms of education and a solid foundation. While I was raised to clean my room and do chores around the house, there was always plenty of money for piano lessons, summer camps, and a car when I was 16. I was thankful for having older parents - and they will be too.
My parents were on the older side when they had me and my brother, and I have never felt it was a disadvantage or a problem.