I watched an X-Files episode that was really funny. It involved acts in a carnival, starting with Alligator Man, who’s skin was scaly, but, hey, he had the bearded lady for a wife who loved him, and two normal looking kids!
At one point the carny guy says, ‘I’ve seen the future and it looks just like ** him!’** Pointing at Mulder looking very GQ in a suit and tie. The carny guy’s point was that mutants are the only interesting people in life.
** So, what kind of act would you be?? ** While I enjoyed ‘Conundrum’ who would eat everything, and solved the murders on the show. I chose ‘Two Face’ who was a man and a woman. I figure, being ‘Anti Pro’ it would give me even MORE access to both sides of an issue!!
I’d like to be a contortionist or tight-rope walker (altough tight-rope is a little out of the question, seeing as how I have no depth perception and inner ear problems that screw with my balance).
If you haven’t read Ricky Jay’s Learned Pigs and Fireproof Women, it’s a fantastic book on the “pointlessly gifted”. (It was just re-printed not long ago. Now if they’ll only get around to re-printing “Cards as Weapons”, I’ll be happy.")
I would probably have a trained pig act. “The only Scholar of his Race in the World! This most extraordinary Creature will spell and read, cast Accounts, play at Cards, Tell any Person what o’Clock it is to a Minute by their own Watch, also tell the age of anyone in company, and what is more Astonishing he will discover a Person’s Thoughts. A Performance beyond all others, the most incredible.”
SEE the amazing Cynical Woman! She believes nothing! Religion? Ghosts? Chiropractors? Tell her ANYTHING and watch her raise one eyebrow and say, “Oh, yeah?”
“I would be the sad-faced clown who comes out at the end of the show and shovels up the elephants’ bowel movements.”
I never really wanted to be a side show performer. I want to be the leather skinned, wrinkly, so-skinny-he-must-have a tapeworm, ticket taker who makes sure his booth is set high enough that he can look down the shirts of all the women who pass by.
I never really wanted to be a side show performer. I want to be the leather skinned, wrinkly, so-skinny-he-must-have a tapeworm, ticket taker who makes sure his booth is set high enough that he can look down the shirts of all the women who pass by.
** Uke, ** at least we would all understand why you were sad-faced, but, you could look at the other ‘end of the matter’. By knowing you’d NEVER be out of a job!
** ThisYearsGirl ** you would be the really cute girl who could have the tight rope really low_________ to the ground, and if you still fell, go into an Olympic stance, ta da, like you meant to do that the whole time!
** blueslady, ** thanks for the explanation of what an ‘Iron Jaws’ was, I had you pictured as a villain in a Bond film!
** DoctorJ, ** your pig act sounds too big time for this small time carny show, I suggest you get an agent and hit Hollywood, Babe would have nothing on you!
** Satchmo, ** if I were you, I’d go for the tallest dwarf act, because they would all look up to you.
** Doctor Jackson, ** okay, you got the job, but, I fear you’ll become jaded in no time flat! Or go bust.
** X-Files, ** oh, yeah, the usual ‘fake two headed crash dummies glued together’ trick again!
I should have posted earlier. I would be the contortionist. I can already do most of the contortionist moves. I can do one thing with my shoulders that grosses a lot of people out. I can hold my hands together and jump rope (the full 360 degrees) up to 60 times. I usually got bored before then 60 was just the highest I went before stopping. I can also do a lot of goofy things with my spine like stnading in a doorway and leaving my feet in the same position and turning 360 degrees and looking back the same way.
When my friend was in the circus, she was the concession girl. I recounted that story in another thread.
