One of my co-workers is about to become unemployed. We are very concerned about him and his family…one-year-old baby and a wife(who used to work for us) and would like to help him find a new career. Let me describe him, and then I would appreciate any suggestions you might have about what job he might be suited for. You will be graded on creativity, originality and practicality.
“Paul” is 27, balding, shaggy longish hair, beard, getting a belly. I’m not sure about his education level…I think he has some college, and he did graduate from a technical training program for tool & die or some such job, which he quit in a week because, well, I think because it was a lot of physical labor.
He is extremely well-read, esp. about the Russian Revolution, and loves to discuss and argue politics. With the customers. He has a sharp mind for details…knows all the stock numbers and prices and item count per box of our product line. He is generally a good salesman, but believes that capitalism is wrong. He is employed as an assistant manager, but says no one who is paid hourly can be truly considered management, so he feels no responsibility to act decisively.
He likes nice things…pipes, suit jackets, ties that celebrate “Heroes of Russian Agriculture”…but does not like deodorant, ironing his shirts, or using air freshener after a long session in the communal bathroom (says he prefers natural scents). Or even making sure there are no skid marks left on the toilet seat. Or butt-fur.
He loves to talk, drink coffee, play little hand-held video games…except he does that while working. His handwriting -printing, even, is so atrocious that the bank routinely sends back deposits because they can’t distinguish the numbers. He adores his son, and resents any time required to be away from him; i.e, the 40-hour work week. Anything that should be done routinely is resented…taking out the garbage, keeping the stocroom orderly, following through on projects.
He can rarely give a succinct answer. Example of a conversation:
P: Starbucks has great coffee, but was a lousy place to work.
Me: What didn’t you like about working there?
P: You have to understand that American corporate culture bases its success on giving the customer a uniformly consistent experience, as it were, and they pride themselves on churning out little cookie cutter employees who can toe the company line and sing the company song, so to speak, and what they fail to take into consideration is that they are dealing with human beings who don’t fit into their little molds, and if they had tried this shit during the revolution they would have been executed in the first rounds of the purge.
Answer he should have given: The hours were lousy, I couldn’t make the drinks consistently and I didn’t like cleaning things.
So I know this is long, but can you think of a new career for Paul? There must be someplace that could appreciate his talents. University professsor? Radio talk-show host? I need ideas!