I’m just glad I have a non-famous name, unlike my friends Mark Mcguire (which I probably mispelled) and Joe Black. Yeah, I met Joe Black. hahaha.
The only job related one I’ve gotten is when I was in college in the engineering program. I told that to one guy, and he said something about learning to drive trains. It took me about five minutes to figure out what he was talking about.
I promise to try to not make the obvious jokes, but I love them so much. Sometimes it’s even funnier when you know they’ve heard it a million times before.
Well … I’m tall. 6’5" barefoot. Plus my name is Osiris. Which was unfortunatly mentioned in that movie with the Rock in and is also, and this really sucks, a shoe company.
I don’t mind the comments though. I love being tall and adore my name and I have perfected a serious face and answer their questions. I would look good on a 15th century English pound.
During long car trips between Kingston and Montreal, I told the “interrupting cow” joke so many times that we reached a stage when we would just pass a cow and my army buddy would say pre-emptively say “Shut up.”
If I hear “Jin and tonic” or “Jin and juice” one more time I am going to beat someone over the head with my umbrella. I hate that.
I also hate it when people argue with me about my name. What’s your real name? Jin Wicked. No, really, what’s your REAL name? Jin Wicked. No, what’s your REAL NAME?
THAT IS MY REAL NAME YOU BRAINLESS TURD! :mad:
It’s like it doesn’t some “namey” enough for them, so they want to argue with me about it. I don’t mind them asking, but don’t try to tell me what my name is and isn’t. I think I know.
Hey, Ringo, I’m glad I’m not the only Crosby who gets all the “any relation to Bing?” jokes. Even worse are the ones who screw up the joke (not that it was ever funny in the first place) and make some reference to Bill Cosby.
As a personal rule, any time I meet someone with a name that is similar to a celebrity’s name I refrain from making any such statements. I figure they’ve heard it a million times already and they deserve a break. As an example, we have a guy at work whose name is Mike Jackson. I can only imagine how many times he’s heard things like, “So, how’s Tito?” or something stupid like that. :rolleyes: .
I have a desk job and I work for the Federal government. So living in a small, conservative town I’ve heard every variation on the lazy government employee/nothing to do/drinks coffee, eats doughnuts all day/lucky guy, wish I didn’t have to work/sorry, didn’t mean to wake you at the office/etc. etc. etc. theme that there is. Sorry, folks, there’s no new gold to be mined from that vein.
Also, if there’s something that needs to be done during normal business hours, I’m assumed to be available to do it, because it’s not like I have a “real” job or anything.
If I don’t laugh at these gems, it’s “Hey, just kidding! Aint’cha gotta sensea humor?” No, that’s not it, I do. I laughed my *ss off the first 1,567,893 times I heard that one, but after that it started getting old.
Osiris– I one made the the world’s most common joke about tall people to a female friend who was 6’2" tall in high school. (I’m 5’1", so to me everyone’s tall, but she was REALLY tall.) I stupidly said, “How’s the weather up there?”
She spit on my head and said “It’s raining.”
Since I totally had that coming, I laughed my butt off. You may want to file that away for future reference.
Silentgoldfish, I have blonde hair that is at least 3 feet long. Often the braying jackass making the joke has also failed to notice that, in fact, my hair is down, which is how they were able to ascertain, via their incredible observational skills, that my hair is, indeed, somewhat long.
I’m also not interested in hearing references to Dagwood.
Him: So, what do you do for a living?
Me: I’m a librarian.
Him: Wow! You don’t look like a librarian!
(and WTF is that supposed to mean?)
Me: No, the stilletoes and thigh highs tend to skew the stereotype a bit.
OR
Him: Wow! You must be real smart!
Me: Smart enough to realize how witty you are, big guy!
OR
Him: You get paid to read books all day.
Me: Just makes you wish you could–read, that is.
OR (and the only one I don’t mind)
Him: So what’s a good book to read?
Me: name a genre, sweetie.
I knew someone in college whose name was “Richie Cunningham.” Honest to God, he went by “Richie.” A friend of mine did the “Hey, where’s Potsie?” but on him once. The glare she got advised her how much he appreciated the joke.
One of my roommates was 4’10" and HATED short jokes. One guy did get her to laugh, though. He told her she could sue the city – for building the sidewalks so close to her ass.
I can’t say I’m the victim of dumb jokes very often. Sometimes when I say I’m a copyeditor, I get the comment about “I’d better watch my grammar.” Har har.
I’ve got a really deep voice. The sort that wasn’t meant to be placed in my skinny nerd-type body
My science teacher doesn’t know my name…he just calls me “Deep Voice Guy”
People tell me that I should do the voice of God in a movie or something.
I’ve even gotten nicknames like “Isaac Hayes”
And then there’s always the guy/girl who thinks I haven’t noticed so they’ll say “you know…you’ve got a really deep voice”
“Hey, you’re lucky - at least you have a seat!” (In crowded concerts/bars/etc.)
“Can I get a ride?”
“You ever go off-roading with that thing?”
“Hey, can I use that for a while? My feet’re killing me!”
To clarify for any jokers who might be reading:
There is, indeed, something wrong with me such that I need to use this wheelchair. I don’t use it as transportation 'cause it’s just SUCH fun. I really don’t have another option - it’s not just my own private carnival ride. The jokes were never, are not currently, and will never be amusing. The only reason I smile tightly at you stupid jokes is because my mother taught me not to growl at people.
In terms of names that draw stupid jokes… My closest friend’s given name is Scarlet. You can think of the jokes yourself.
I work in a movie theater, and voguevixen already mentioned some of the regularly-occurring irritations. There’s tons more, but the ones that really irritate me lately stem from the fact that the theater I currently manage is only one screen.
“I’ll have two tickets to…uhh…let’s see…which one…” (I am always reminded of the Simpson’s episode where Lenny is trying to order a pretzel from the Pretzel Wagon–only these people seem to think it’s funny.)
The most common is “Which theater? Nyuk Nyuk Nyuk.” Yep, that’s hi-larious. “Hey, which hallway?” Yeah, there’s ten feet of lobby and two sets of doors. Pick one, go in, and shut the hell up.
My last name is bird , For some reason people just wont believe it. The usual is along the lines of " You mean the animal that goes tweet tweet?" Or " You mean Like ( makes arm flapping motion)?" That or people just say my name wrong , they say berg
Byerd , Then they makes horrible jokes about My first and middle names , Lauren Ashley , Its like " Hey dude, Are you named after that designer ( Laura ashley ) ?" Or Are you related to that designer , Its just not good
this also reminds me of my best friend , she is very cuban, And her last name is castro. You do the math, All the time its ’ Are you related to THE castro, is that why you left cuba? (even though she never lived in cuba ,they just assume).
also, another friend i have is named donna. And she is completely irish . Her last name is donahue. This never ceases to amuse people The conversations are usually like this
Friend: Hi, I’m Donna , Donna donhue.
ass: :long pause:, Donna Who?
Friend: Unitelligible, Noise of skin being pounded into the cement
