On the back porch, Bruce Lee.
On the front porch, Batman, fully prepared.
Ooooooooooooooooooooooh sig line sig line sig line !!!
Er, a .41 caliber bullet.
http://www.inovativecreations.com/probono/animations/zuesBarking.gif
all ya need are bees …
As much as I like my AR-15, an M4gery actually, and find it extremely quick to handle I wouldn’t make it my first choice for home defense. A shotgun is effective, inexpensive and leaves an oozy corpse and people know this. You can get a Mossbert 500 security model when Big 5 has them on sale for $220. Attach a tatical flashlight to the magazine tube and you have a potent deterrent.
Doubles are effective too, I compete with one in CAS, but it wouldn’t be my first choice for defense. You may only need one or two shots but I don’t want to have a gun that is cannot be immediately fired while reloading if I’m in a serious situation .
Find your local laws and understand them. In arizona there are certain cases where you can legally threaten an intruder with a gun. You still can’t shoot someone for simple property crime though. If Mr. Goblin refuses to leave you can’t do anything else and in a bizarre twist he may be in his right to shoot you because you threatened him first.
If price is no concern I think crowd control weapons like a water cannon would probably work quite well. If that didn’t wash them all down the street maybe a gun which fires rubber bullets might be be handy.
If there were still looters around after that it would have to be the chain saw!
If price is no concern I think crowd control weapons like a water cannon would probably work quite well. If that didn’t wash them all down the street maybe a gun which fires rubber bullets might be be handy.
If there were still pillagers around after that it would have to be the chain saw!
Oh man. I laughed for a long time on this presentation! That’s not good because I am at work.
That’s really* not good because I work in a library.
-Mike
Does anybody have any information on how I might train my dog to do this?
I agree. I would even help them to taking my things. The VCR that is 11 years old.
The TV set that Mr. Ujest would love to upgrade to a flat screen plasma thing.
Dear Og, I would pay them to take the 30 year old sectional orgy couch.
Back the truck right up here boys!
If they got near the things that have no value to them ( pictures, kids art work, jeans that fit, comfy shoes, Mr. Ujest) I would attack them with a large metal ladle and metal salad tongs.
HiI-YA!*
Does this mean you’d toss them out? <innocence> 
Drachillix has a legally purchased and registered Glock 19 that I’m sure he wouldn’t mind my borrowing in case of home invasion, especially if I use it as he’s taught me.
Which is exactly why you shouldn’t try looting…it would be sad for you to lose your life trying to get my stuff.
You had the right idea…just backwards.
12 ga pump action with a laser sight.
I can’t think of anything more intimidating if I was a pillager than seeing that red dot, knowing what is is from movies, then hearing the ca-chick of a shotgun slide being moved.
A guy I knew had a boat that he lived on and had exactly that as a weapon for which to defend himself. When some pirates came aboard as he was anchored in some isolated spot on the coast of Mexico, he did exactly as described - hit the laser button, then worked the action.
Strangely the pirates left quite quickly…
Good… Bad… I’m the one with the chainsaw. 
Worth more than the life of someone who would engage in looting?
That would include my computer, my stereo, my cats’ food dish, my cats’ day-old hairballs…
After all, the looter, not me, made the decision to forfeit any claim to be treated as a fellow civilized human being.
It seems to me that if this is after a hurricane, you bee hives may not be standing and your bee would not be around your home.
I personally keep something handy for just this sort of emergency that when I weild them in my hand people scurry off quicky.
Just walk up to the looters with several copies of The Watch Tower in your hand and ask if you can talk to them about Jesus.
The looters will run. Oh yes.
Hey, these are trained attack bees, dedicated to protecting the home. They don’t run away at a small puff of a breeze. Besides, they are in a jar.
The Watch Tower is a mighty fine weapon though.
…keeping a band of pillagers out of my house isn’t a case of my property vs. their lives. Since they’re pillaging, they clearly have mallicious intent. The inside/outside barrier that my house provides is a great way to keep a bunch of unpredictable meanies, who, by the way, have abandoned civilized behavior for the time being, away from me and at a safe distance. I don’t want to be in a position of defenseless when they’re milling around my house when one of them, drunk on power, decides to take the crime up a few notches. Also worth noting is that if I am uncertain as to when food, clothing, and drinkable water will be available again, sharing it out to a gang of violent ner’-do-wells may not be the best thing for my health.
One nice thing about shotguns that have the tube magazine under the barrel is that you can reload them as you go along. If you fire two rounds, you can slip two in as replacements without leaving the gun unloaded in the process.
I’d probably be happy with a Glock .45. .45s have great records for dropping people on the first shot, or so I have read, and Glocks are very low maintenance guns. If I were going to move up to something bigger, I might go for an assault-type rifle. Shotguns don’t spread as much as people think in close quarters, though they do have a lot of knock-down power. (The lower the guage the wider the barrel.) I wouldn’t be gaining accuracy by using a shotgun. With the rifle, I would be gaining range, so that if the group of pillagers turns out to be very determined, my defense doesn’t have to be within the range of the shotgun. Of course, then maybe an M1A Scout would be the trick. The sight allows for fast target acquisition at fairly close range, and with a .308 coming out of the barrel, it will make it harder for the pillagers to hide behind anything. I’ll be sure to fix a bayonett on it, too.
Or maybe a Dobie-O-Matic®.